March 01, 2009 | Glenn Clark

You know how this works. 15 were great, 7 were lucky, and there was a total zero. I REALLY want to make “Snow” the zero this week; but it isn’t bad…..yet.

You were great….

1-Aubrey Huff

Look, I can’t get too excited about games that don’t count. I’m about as interested in what Koji Uehara did last week as I am in which stripper was the most recent kicked off of “Rock Of Love Bus with Bret Michaels”. Scratch that. I care MUCH more about Rock of Love Bus than I do about fake baseball. And we all know that Kelsey got kicked off for getting too drunk and passing out on a speed bump (is it embarrassing that I just admitted to knowing this?). But Huff had three hits Saturday, which is good for a historically slow starter. Hopefully he’ll be successful again and they can trade him…unlike last year.

2-Todd Bozeman

Make it back to back regular season titles and postseason appearances for Todd Bozeman’s Bears. I’d like to say something negative about the guy since he beat Maryland earlier in the season; but he has just been awesome since coming to Hil Field House. Congratulations to Morgan on the MEAC regular season title.

3-Kyle Wimer, Bill McCutcheon and Shane Koppens

It was a good weekend for all Baltimore lacrosse teams NOT named Johns Hopkins, anyway. Wimer tallied 5 points to lead UMBC past Colgate. I heard some people in the M&T Bank Stadium Press Box talking about how this UMBC team could be a dark horse candidate to make the Final Four. McCutcheon had 7 points to lift Towson past Air Force; and Koppens returned to action with 3 goals to get Loyola a road win at Penn State.

4-Jay Greene and Darryl Proctor, Kristi Toliver and Marissa Coleman

Something special happened this weekend. Four of the best basketball players this state has seen in some time all celebrated their final home games; and all won. Greene and Proctor were part of a special Senior Night event at UMBC, while Toliver and Coleman were incredible in their final game at Comcast Center. (Toliver and Coleman also went on to win at Miami on Sunday). I like making jokes, but this was just a pretty special weekend in Catonsville and College Park.

5-Geoff Ogilvy and Lorena Ochoa

Ogilvy won the Match Play title in an effort that I’m not certain Paul Casey has even bothered to show up for just yet. Ogilvy was dominant in winning his 2nd Match Play title. I’m not sure if I won the bracket contest with Drew; but I’m definitely the real winner; as I didn’t have to watch a single MOMENT of golf this weekend after Tiger was eliminated on Day 2. And oh yeah; Lorena Ochoa did something too.

6-Novak Djokovic, Mardy Fish and Venus Williams

Golf is boring to watch. Yet I’m saddled with the Golf Channel on Channel 3 of my Comcast Cable here in Baltimore County. Tennis couldn’t be more exciting to watch; yet I have to poke through to channel 277 just to find it. And I’m reasonably certain the TV in my bedroom doesn’t go past channel 125. Djokovic, Fish, and Venus were all winners this weekend; but I wonder if anyone even knows that.

7-Kyle Busch

What’s better? Winning a NASCAR race, or being from Las Vegas? If you’re Kyle Busch, you don’t have to choose. The polesitter claimed the title in NASCAR’s trip to Vegas; where the winner gets to spend Monday visiting friends at the Bunny Ranch, gets as much $5 prime rib as you can eat, gets to join Wayne Newton on stage Sunday night, gets points and money. Lame.

8-Martin Brodeur

In returning from the lockout a couple years ago, the NHL changed the rules to make it easier to score. Unfortunately for me, they didn’t do the same thing at places like Charles Village Pub and Greene Turtle Towson. But I digress. Despite the rules changes, Martin Brodeur can still keep you from scoring; and he did it for the 100th time in his career Sunday. He’s 3 shy of the all-time record; and 4 shy of Patrick Roy’s all-time wins record.

9-Terrell Vinson

Here we go again. Vinson scored 20 Sunday to lead St. Frances past Loyola Blakefield in the Baltimore Catholic League title game. I can’t confirm this; but I definitely get the feeling Terrell’s success has EVERYTHING to do with the fact that he knows his Facebook friend Glenn Clark is keeping tabs on him.

10-Shaquille O’Neal

This is just ridiculous. 45 points Friday night. 33 points Sunday in a win over Kobe and the Lakers. Meanwhile, Shawn Kemp is gearing up for the next season of Pros Vs. Joe’s. It doesn’t work for everyone.

11-Steve Holcomb

With a gun to my head; I’m sure if I’d root for America or Jamaica in a bobsled showdown. But these colors don’t run! Holcomb brought home the first gold medal in the 4 man bobsled at the World Championships in FIFTY FREAKING YEARS for the Americans Sunday; and I’m all for that. But still; don’t make me pick between Team USA and Jamaica. I just don’t know.

12-Toney Douglas and Jeff Teague

The Deacs weren’t perfect down the stretch, but Teague’s 12 were big late as they beat Virginia. Douglas poured in 23 to help Florida State beat Clemson. As of today; Clemson and Wake would get first round byes in the ACC Tournament. There’s nothing they’d like more.

13-Barack Obama


Damn that guy just looks cool. It’s like a mixed race James Dean was elected President. Could you imagine how easy it would be to pick up chicks if you hung out with this guy? Wait; you mean he was watching a Wizards game Friday night? The Wizards are playing again this season? Someone should have told me.

14-Rex Ryan

He’s doing work in New York; and he’s winning over fans and media alike. He’s added Bart Scott and Lito Sheppard this weekend; with Jim Leonhard possibly still on the horizon. It’s a big weekend for the big man; and he’s gearing up to try to challenge the Patriots in the AFC East. He MIGHT want to think about nabbing a quarterback at some point…..I hear Kyle Boller’s available!



What was the bit Bobby Kelly used to do about appetizers? It’s food……BEFORE FOOD! I went out Friday night and Saturday night to establishments with half-priced appetizers; and I enjoyed things like cuban bread, spinach dip, chicken flatbread, sesame chicken strips, mozzerrella sticks, fried green beans, and chicken nachos. I’m still recovering.

You got lucky……

1-Gary Williams

Greivis Vasquez was the star; but the Terps NEEDED the win. With The Post throwing some more daggers his way Sunday morning; Gary’s Terps got just enough done Sunday night in Raleigh to overcome blowing a big early lead and going for a 10 minute span in the middle with only making 2 field goals. And thanks go to Sidney Lowe for benching Tracy Smith right when the Wolfpack had turned the momentum. He may have needed the rest, but the Pack needed the momentum more.

2-Alexander Semin

Canadians are crazy. Did Don Cherry really say that Alexander Ovechkin disrespects the game? Don Cherry might as well wear a fruit basket on his head and a coconut bra to games! Anyway, a showdown between the two top teams in the Eastern Conference should NEVER end this way.

3-Virginia Lacrosse

The way to finish off the number 2 team in the country on the road is NOT to let them finish the game on a 4-0 run. The Cavs turned a 13-8 lead into a 13-12 final, and sweat it out at the end. There were almost 17,000 people at the Carrier Dome to see the showdown; nearly as many as attended the Face-Off Classic. Of course, the Carrier Dome is indoors…..

4-Grant Catalino

Look, Catalino was INCREDIBLE. And the Face-Off Classic featured a pair of games that were never REALLY competitive (I would know; I sat through both in the press box at M&T Bank Stadium). But fast forward this video to the 2:16 mark to see Catalino go “between the thighs” for the highlight of the day. WOW.

5-Taylor Rochestie

You mean to tell me it took overtime for Washington State and Arizona State to COMBINE to score 100 points? If anyone ever tells me that Pac-10 teams are overlooked because of an East Coast bias; I might punch them. (Note-I probably won’t, but I certainly feel like I should). Making things worse; had Rochestie not drilled a miracle 26 ft. 3 pointer at the end of overtime to win the game for the Cougars; the teams would have combined to score 97. That’s brutal.

6-Albert Haynesworth


The Redskins will hold their annual offseason parade in April I’m told; the same weekend when the rest of the NFL is getting together in New York to Draft the players that will build their future. With any luck; Haynesworth will get hurt 2 weeks into Training Camp; and the Skins will spend another $50 million to try to talk Sam Adams into suiting up again. If Kyle Boller’s agent didn’t make Daniel Snyder his first phone call he should ABSOLUTELY be fired. (Thanks to Mister Irrelevant for both this image and the Obama image).

7-The Girls Next Door


So Sunday night was the last episode of The Girls Next Door featuring Holly, Kendra, and Bridget. I watched. I don’t care what you think. I have no idea how this show became a hit, and I have less of an idea of how I became a fan. Who watches every week. And actually owns the DVD’s. Please don’t tell anyone.

You’re a ZERO…..

Duke Fans

We saw the video earlier in the week of Elliot Williams taking 12 steps without being called for traveling; but that’s nothing compared to the Jon Scheyer video from the end of the Virginia Tech game. It’s not as much about the play itself. Maybe there should have been a foul called or a jump ball. (But probably not). It’s the loser who thinks Jon Scheyer got ‘mugged’ and put the video up thinking that only ‘haters’ saw the play as a traveling. Duke fans REALLY don’t understand why everyone else in the world makes fun of them. It’s pretty funny.

Talk to you tomorrow.