15-7-0

October 19, 2009 | Glenn Clark

Ravens on Tuesday-our “Tuesday Top 7″. In the meantime…..

You deserve props…..

1-Matt Schaub, Aaron Rodgers, Ben Roethlisberger, Drew Brees and Tom Brady

It was a hell of a weekend to be a quarterback. Well, it was a hell of a weekend to be MOST quarterbacks. I’m pretty sure the weekend still wasn’t good for THIS particular quarterback…..

boller

You know what, I take it back. Kyle B looks like that…..and I look like this…….

me

So……which one of us do you THINK had a better weekend……

2-Cliff Lee and Jerry Hairston Jr.

This one’s on Forrester.

Much like the way he will NEVER be invited back to my house to watch a Ravens game (he said “The Ravens are gonna win this one” 12 times in the 4th quarter in true Forrester Curse fashion); I think we’re really gonna have to think about who we invite on The Comcast Morning Show in the future.

Consider the fact that Vikings TE Visanthe Shiancoe caught TWO TD PASSES Sunday against the Ravens after an appearance on the show Thursday…..AND the fact that Jerry Hairston Jr.-who had NEVER had a playoff at-bat before Saturday-SCORED THE WINNING RUN for the Yankees to beat the Angels!

And with that, I’d like to take this time to annouce that THIS MAN is permanently banned from The Comcast Morning Show in the future…..

hines

Screw you, Hines Ward.

3-Alex Ovechkin

I’m no Capitals fan, but I’ll contend that The Great 8 is the best athlete to come from Eastern Europe since Alona Bondarenko…..

bondarenko

Strike that. Alona Bondarenko is better than Alex Ovechkin. Sorry Caps fans.

4-Tim Tebow, Mark Ingram, Josh Nesbitt and Matt Barkley

An old radio friend of mine had a funny Facebook status Saturday night….

Chad Dukes thinks that slut Erin Andrews should be banned from the sidelines after her sextape.”

Genius. She really should, too. Does she think we’re not thinking about that when we see her on the sidelines? Speaking of which, you know who else I’d like to see make a sex tape? The chick who plays “Pam” on “The Office”…..

fischer

Wait…..the Raiders’ pigeon?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2msmYpNXic[/youtube]

Strongest effort by a Bird in a sporting event since……

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfTUmmKoqJ8[/youtube]

6-Blake Griffin

I have a friend who graduated from the University of Oklahoma, so this was a tough weekend for her. Her quarterback got hurt again, her backup couldn’t figure out a way to beat their archrival, and the Sooners are just 2 games better than the WOEFUL Maryland Terrapins. On top of that, their mascot is a FRAUD……

fraud

…..and their most distinguished alumni is best known for the phrase “slobberknocker”…….

jimross

……so I figured I’d lift her spirits by noting that Blake Griffin had 13 points and 12 boards in a practice NBA game. So……everything’s cool now, right?

7-Sean Mosley

Midnight Madness should be at midnight, damnit. I don’t want to harp on this, but if Midnight Madness had been at midnight, I could have gone after checking out AC/DC at the Verizon Center Friday night. Instead, THIS was the most exciting thing happening in College Park Friday night…..

makingout

Wait…..I changed my mind…….this is just fine……do that basketball thing whenever you want…..who the hell is Sean Mosley? My neck hurts.

8-Cory Ross

And I don’t mean to pile on here, but Graham Gano already has a 53 yard field goal on the season for the UFL Las Vegas Locomotives……if you know where I’m going…..

Cory Ross, huh? Remember when Cory Ross started a game accidentally in Baltimore and gauged the Steelers? You know, right before Brian Billick got fired? Oh, memories…..

Apparently not everyone is off to a great start on the UFL season though….

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=br5xGUmF79Y[/youtube]

Hang in there, Anita. You’ll get ‘em next time…..

9-Vince Murray and Pat Devlin

Tough homecoming for Towson against Delaware Saturday, of course-not quite as difficult as Homecoming was at Byrd Stadium; where I’m reasonably certain I was the only person who came home.

George W. Bush was at the Navy-SMU game Saturday in Dallas. It was somewhat strange when he opened the game by welcoming all of the Sooners and Longhorns fans to the Cotton Bowl for the Red River Rivalry.

Are “George W. Bush is stupid” jokes still funny, or are we all supposed to go with the more popular “Barack Obama hasn’t done anything” fare?

Eff it, to quote Frank Caliendo….”I miss the little guy.” He wasn’t much of a President, but DAMN if he wasn’t entertaining…..

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoVFtrpKVIw[/youtube]

10-Nikk Davis and Joe Cummings

I will FREELY admit that I was the only person who gave even HALF a crap about what was going on in the world of lacrosse this weekend. Then again, I knew if I hung out around a lacrosse game, I’d find someone who knew where I could find the new John Mayer tune. I was right!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZwVjys2bQI[/youtube]

11-Duke Basketball

I can’t believe I’m saying this. Jesus, I might break out in a cold sweat. But in an era when no one can afford to spend money on their basketball program, it’s kinda cool that you were able to do this…….

duke

Okay, I hope Coach K and the Blue Devils get their ASS KICKED every game. And…..there’s nothing about this picture that makes me concerned whatsoever. BUT…..it’s cool. NCAA Basketball teams are cutting spending, and they tread lightly when it comes to doing cool stuff. I have to give props…..and it is REALLY uncomfortable to do so.

12-Canada

A lot of people are going to dog the people up in Vancouver for their strangely shaped Olympic medals, but do not count me amongst that group. I think the Canadians have actually put together a hip looking medal…

medal

I mean, they’re oddly shaped and all, but they’re mostly cooler than anything else that’s come from Canada….except for the one time Avril Lavigne decided to start working at Hooters……

hooters

13-Jim Nantz

Maybe the nicest guy on the face of the freaking planet. He saw his wife crying in divorce court and gave her a hug. Holy freaking crap. There are women that I have no reason to have ill will towards and I would LAUGH if I saw them crying. Then again, I might be the worst human being on the face of the planet. Also, Nantz has a new commercial with Peyton Manning out…..where he shoots a football with a bow and arrow. Anyone have video of that????

For the record, Drew Forrester hasn’t put pants on since this particular moment……

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Af2zHvVKWh8[/youtube]

14-Chick-Fil-A Chicken Salad Sandwiches and Sweet Tea

chicktea

Ask me which I’d rather have. A night with Marisa Miller or the meal above………

Go ahead…….

That’s what I thought. Marisa Miller will still be there when I’m ready…..

15-Angus Young

So…….this show was EXACTLY as good as I had hoped it would be……..

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WzxI_Jw0wV4[/youtube]

And this song is EXACTLY as kick-ass live as I imagined……

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7FFPP5KKA8[/youtube]

AND…..I TOTALLY didn’t come away from the show worshiping Satan (that I know of), so this is all a win-win!

You got lucky……

1-Colt McCoy and Shrimp Vindaloo

In Rick Reilly’s column previewing Oklahoma-Texas last week, he described McCoy’s girlfriend Rachel Glandorf as “hotter than shrimp vindaloo.”

The interesting part for me is that the first thing I Google image searched was…….

shrimp

And then the NEXT thing I Google image searched was…..

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_CezbgHDlN3A/STWFdiwgB-I/AAAAAAAADRw/Pu9PxXtyhLg/s400/rachel-glandorf-2.jpg

It really has never been a bigger weekend for shrimp vindaloo than this one. Frankly, this might be a peak for shrimp vindaloo. I somehow doubt it gets much better than this. I know Rick Reilly looked at Rachel Glandorf favorably, but when else will shrimp vindaloo get this much attention???

Oh, and Texas beat Oklahoma to keep their BCS National Championship dreams very much alive. Which is neat, if you’re into that sort of thing……

2-Danny O’Brien

And by “lucky”, I mean, you better get ready to play. Chris Turner-I love you. You helped this team to some big wins (@Rutgers, vs. Boston College, vs. Cal, vs. North Carolina), but there’s just no reason for you to be in there anymore. I know you’ll still play, but Ralph is gonna have to look at Jamarr Robinson and Danny. Danny is the most likely candidate to be the guy next season, so I guess he’ll be the real go-to guy.

We’ll always have the memories…….

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nEujY9dJ5L0[/youtube]

3-Sunderland

This didn’t REALLY happen, did it????

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Kun2g_NXS4[/youtube]

Oh holy crap, it did. Liverpool must be PISSED! In fact, I heard a rumor that the kid who threw the ball on the field was receiving death threats from Liverpool fans until he said “Hey look over there”……..at which point Liverpool fans took their anger out on a poster of this…..

yoko

Don’t blame them. I want to take my anger out on that image, too.

Also, was that humor too smart for this blog? I feel as though it may have been. Therefore, boobs.

4-Jimmie Johnson and Martin Laird

Not really as much because their accomplishments were lucky, more because they are lucky that ANYONE noticed. For example, my friend told me she had to work yesterday-to which I responded “Are the people at your work aware that the NFL did NOT decide to cancel games this season?”

That being said, Laird is reportedly a golfer on the PGA Tour. He won the Justin Timberlake Open in Las Vegas. Meanwhile, Justin Timberlake won this Sunday wherever the hell he felt like it…..

biel

5-Rian Lindell

It is COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE for a kicker to miss a kick from the mid-40 yard range to win a football game. COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE! No other kicker in the NFL could POSSIBLY do that!

Anyhoo, Rian Lindell got a 2nd chance and made it count Sunday, which is more than can be said about my 2nd-12th chances with the law……..

Also, remember when Mark Sanchez was the next Joe Flacco? Fellow former USC QB Matt Leinart has some career advice if things don’t turn around….

matty

6-Megan Fox

So, apparently she won some sort of award from Spike TV AND pulled down a big endorsement deal for Armani underwear this weekend, too. Which made me think, does anyone really wanna see Megan Fox in her underwear???

fox

Seriously…..no thanks. I mean, if that’s what you’re into and all, good for you. But some of us have standards, and this frankly just isn’t good enough. But for those of you who don’t really care about looks, I guess this will be something you’ll be into.

7-People who don’t live in Maryland in October

My Saturday looked a lot like this……

rain

Which I guess beats waking up and seeing this……..

snow

I’m going back to Arizona. Eff this. I love you guys, I love my family; but I think I have the flu again after like a day. this place SUCKS. WHAT THE EFF IS SNOW IN OCTOBER ALL ABOUT?!?!?! 66 degrees on Tuesday? The weather here is about as rational as my girl after 2 beers……….

“I think we should go skiing……in the air!!!!!!!!”

You’re a zero…..

Everyone who is angry about Richard and Mayumi Heene

Seriously, there are other things to worry about in the world. For example, there are rumors that this lady……

dita

had a sultry lesbian photoshoot with another model where they were each in their underwear. And yet, NO PICTURES TO BE FOUND YET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My friends, our nation is in crisis. Please, someone help me solve this problem……

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983……

-G

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