15-7-0

November 09, 2009 | Glenn Clark

Ravens Tuesday. Our Tuesday Top 7. But I’m not sure I’ll be able to find 7….

You deserve props…….

1-Kurt Warner, Josh Freeman, Drew Brees, Matt Hasselbeck and Phillip Rivers

Josh Freeman is the greatest rookie kicker since Mark Sanchez!

But seriously, how embarrassing is it to be a Packers fan today? A week after losing to Brett Favre, you lost to the freaking Tampa Bay Buccaneers!!!!

I guess it could be worse. You could be rooting for this team……

os

2-Fedor Emelianenko

This……

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8zMVAv1XOM[/youtube]

…..is WAY better than anything I’ve seen on CBS in recent years. Well, other than this anyway……

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2Mzp_1ndR8[/youtube]

3-Zenyatta

I don’t care what Summer Bird, Mine That Bird or ANY other horse says. It is ALWAYS embarrassing to lose to a girl.

Unless of course you’re losing to Kelly Brook in a “Flattest Stomach” contest. She can win that. Actually, I’ll let her show me hers and then I’ll just forfeit. Sound good?

brook

4-Michael Turner, Cedric Benson and Chris Johnson

I CANNOT BELIEVE there was a Washington Redskins fan on my Facebook page talking trash Sunday night. The Washington Redskins are an embarrassment to the NFL. It is LAUGHABLE. Even this guy isn’t proud…..

skins

5-The Young Men Representing our Country Playing Football for the United States Naval Academy

It wasn’t Navy playing Notre Dame Saturday. It was the United States of America. That’s right, the good ole USA kicked the TAR out of the Fighting Irish Saturday, which is exactly the way it should be. Notre Dame sucks. South Bend sucks. Touchdown Jesus sucks.

I don’t care if you can even pronounce Niumatalolo. If you weren’t rooting like hell for our boys from Annapolis Sunday, you’re not a good American. This man is a hero…..

vela

This man is not……

weis

6-Kurt Busch

Kurt Busch won this weekend’s NASCAR race 500 at Texas Motor Speedway. I know because it says it right here on my computer screen.

I was really hoping to put together some good shtick here, but I just don’t know enough relevant talking points when it comes to NASCAR. I could make another joke about NASCAR fans being obnoxious drunks, but I choose not to make easy stereotypes. There’s probably just a small group of bad eggs giving the rest of the crew a bad name…..

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q2otGXwmlAU[/youtube]

7-Dallas Clark, Randy Moss and Mike Sims-Walker

How….in the HELL……are the Jacksonville Jaguars 4-4? The Jags are TERRIBLE. Makes you feel even worse about the Ravens, really.

And while we’re talking about receivers, was Chad Ochocinco really expecting a chance to “pay off” an official with a dollar yesterday?

ocho

Or was this totally spontaneous? Chad Ochocinco is either really stupid, or a total genius.

Sort of like Glenn Clark.

8-Mike Knuble

The Washington Capitals were big winners on Saturday night-so…..yay?

I LOVE making fun of Washington, DC. The people there are terrible, the sports teams are awful, and I’d rather spend the day with Rick From Reisterstown than find myself having to travel in their area. That being said, the Mayor of our city is now standing TRIAL.

But then again, that crap-hole down there would probably elect this fella mayor again if they could…..

barry

9-Gabriel Ali-El

And once again, Poly is a big winner over City. Over 8,000 fans came to M&T Bank Stadium to watch the 121st edition of the rivalry; which represents all that’s good about high school football.

I wish I had moments like this in high school. Sadly, most of my memories at Perry Hall involved unfortunate nicknames and bad hair. Which is basically how the rest of my life has played out, too…….

10-Novak Djokovic and Andy Murray

Riddle me this, Batman. Swiss Indoors result not withstanding, Roger Federer has won FIFTEEN grand slam titles. Novak Djokovic and Andy Murray have COMBINED to win 1.

Yet…..this is Novak Djokovic’s on again/off again girlfriend Jelena Ristic….

ristic

And this is Andy Murray’s girlfriend Kim Sears……

sears

And yet Roger Federer was CONVINCED he’d never do any better than Mirka Vavrinec???

mirka

11-Phil Mickelson

Was more popular in China than Tiger Woods. Although, I’d prefer being BETTER than Tiger Woods-but that’s just me.

Also, since the HSBC Champions event was played in Shanghai; I’m reminded that Lucy Liu was in the movie Shanghai Knights, and should probably be in every other movie in the world……

liu

12-Jordan Shipley, Julio Jones, Zach Collaros, DeVier Posey and Graig Cooper

Holy crap TCU is ranked #4?!?!? God-I haven’t asked you for much recently. I asked you for the Redskins to lose to the Lions-and you sure delivered on that. Now, I PRAY that you PLEASE allow TCU or Boise State to find their way into the Top 2. Please deliver losses to Texas, Florida, Alabama and Cincinnati; and PLEASE force the BCS to have to stomach one of these teams getting to Pasadena.

OR…..please deliver Lea Michele from “Glee” to me for Christmas. Either one will work….

lea

13-University of Arizona

You thought this might have something to do with the Wildcats’ big win over Washington State Saturday. It doesn’t. They might go to the Rose Bowl this season. Who cares?

You see, the U of A held their first ever “Undie Run”, and that is ABSOLUTELY the most important thing that could ever happen ….in the world.

Here are the pictures……

undie

14-Chicken Parm

parm

Let me suggest something to you. The next time you’re going to a wedding; purchase your gift a few weeks in advance. Then, when you get to the reception to enjoy dinner-instead of thinking to yourself “I better eat 50 dollars worth of food”…..you’ll say to yourself “Dude, the free food here is AWESOME!” You see, if you buy a gift weeks in advance, you’ll forget about it by the time you get there.

Of course, you’ll be suicidal again after you see the gift sitting on a table and say to yourself “WHY THE HELL DID I JUST SPEND 40 DOLLARS ON SHEETS?!?!?”, but at least you will have enjoyed some damn fine Chicken Parm.

15-Seth MacFarlane

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jtM7Gqxet8Q[/youtube]

Both episodes of Family Guy were awesome last night, and his comedy special with Alex Borstein wasn’t bad either. That being said, I’m pretty sure THIS GUY is still having a better month…..

agassi

You got lucky…….

1-John Harbaugh

Lucky that fewer people will take you to task for the comments you made last week. I’m going to make this comment quickly. The Baltimore Ravens do NOT want to be the Philadelphia Eagles. The Baltimore Ravens want to be the Baltimore Ravens. I don’t care what Andy Reid has done in Philadelphia (but for the reference-what Andy Reid has done in Philadelphia does NOT include a Super Bowl), and I don’t care what your philosophy was there. I want to win….in Baltimore. Having a nice group of guys is nice, having a winner is nicer. I don’t want to be the Dallas Cowboys, either. But to think that the Philadelphia Eagles have been a much greater organization that Jerry Jones’ bunch is laughable. The Cowboys are NOT what’s wrong with the NFL. Now get over yourself, and go win. Stop trying to be Andy Reid. We don’t want Andy Reid here. We want a damn good head coach who doesn’t want to be like anyone else.

Thanks.

2-Viewers of the Richmond/Villanova game Saturday night on Comcast SportsNet

Hey, I can see how this would happen. This is basically what it sounds like every morning when we turn the mics off on The Comcast Morning Show. Video NSFW. Unless of course you work for Comcast SportsNet…..where you can basically say whatever you want these days…..

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFfL0RIQ-qI[/youtube]

3-David Baumann

George O’Leary’s Central Florida team lost 35-3 to Texas Saturday. Somehow, I still feel like Notre Dame would be better if they had hired him.

The significant thing about the game is that afterwards, O’Leary attempted to kick David Baumann-a TV and radio reporter in Florida-out of the postgame press conference because he correctly reported the night before the game (citing anonymous sources) that two players would not play.

Which lead to this classic GEM, as reported by the Orlando Sentinel….

“It is our preference, if not policy, that member of the media confirm any player injury status with the sports SID prior to release,” UCF associate athletics director Joe Hornstein said after the Texas game. “Regardless of anonymous sources, we ask our members of the media for that courtesy.”

WRONG.

WRONG.

No school…..ANYWHERE….can have a “policy” like this. A reporter can report WHATEVER HE WANTS when he gets the information. Citing an anonymous source is what must be done TO PROTECT THE SOURCES!

I get it, Joe Hornstein and George O’Leary work in a city where most of the news revolves around this man….

mouse

……but if a reporter gets a story and goes with it; they’re a GOOD REPORTER. THEY DON’T WORK FOR YOU. MEDIA MEMBERS DO NOT WORK FOR THE TEAM THEY COVER! A lot of media members in Charm City could use that reminder…..

4-Fans inside Sun Devil Stadium Saturday night

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxzEjSIzF18[/youtube]

Holy. Crap. Sadly for Sun Devils fans, Arizona State still lost to USC. But relax, your state still has plenty of things going for you……

asu

5-Darvin Moon

A logger from Garrett County is in the finals of the World Series of Poker. I’d prefer that a blogger from Baltimore County be in a strip poker final with Sienna Miller…..

(Edit from GMC: The blogger I was referring to was me. Nice work, brainiacs!)

6-Jahvid Best

As in-LUCKY TO BE ALIVE!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ik1_1c729z0[/youtube]

I wish Jahvid Best NOTHING but the best in recovering. Kevin Barnes couldn’t even have enjoyed watching that. This cat has more lives than my own childhood feline….

7-Jason Sudeikis

Because Glenn Beck was the role he was BORN to play. Sometimes Saturday Night Live is still pretty good-even when they try to ruin it with Taylor freaking Swift…..

[youtube]http://www.mediaite.com/tv/snl-skewers-fox-news-and-glenn-beck/[/youtube]

You’re a zero…….

The guy who got THIS tattoo…..

johnnyu

What the hell does that even mean?!?!?!?!

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…..

-G

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