The 15-7-0 is Italian. It’s Pronounced FRA-GEE-LAY.

December 26, 2011 | Glenn Clark

The 15-7-0 is Italian. It’s Pronounced FRA-GEE-LAY.

7 Not-So-Positive Observations…

1. Seen on Christmas Eve: Tim Tebow haters staying up long enough to high five Santa Claus.

Tebow had his worst day as a starting quarterback Saturday, throwing four picks in a blowout loss to CJ Spiller and the Buffalo Bills. It simply wasn’t pretty.

But there’s good news for “The Mile High Messiah”! Apparently Playboy’s Miss January 2012 Heather Knox is rumored to be interested in helping the former Florida quarterback out with his pesky virginity problem!

I bet she’s nice.

2. I like Rex Ryan and all, but the term “ass hat” tends to come to mind when I think of him.

But maybe I’m not the right person to make that statement. Let’s ask New York Giants RB Brandon Jacobs instead…

The Giants set up a “winner take all” battle for the NFC East title next week with their win over the Jets, who will now need a TON of help to get back into the AFC playoffs.

I’m not saying they’re done by the way. I know better than that.

Here’s a 99 yard touchdown pass from Eli Manning to Victor Cruz…

Oh and here’s a video of Ahmad Bradshaw absolutely TRUCKING Brodney Pool…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fo0qoa06Paw

Also, there are rumors that the Jets are going to look to upgrade from Mark Sanchez in the offseason. Ravens fans will call me this week and tell me that’s why the Ravens should do the same with Joe Flacco. I don’t know how the conversation will end, but I’ll assume that much like Clark Griswold, I’ll end up asking for the Tylenol.

3. I understand the positives surrounding Mike Locksley’s return to College Park, but I still don’t think they make the move if they aren’t desperate.

Look, I’m excited about what Locksley might be able to bring to the University of Maryland as a recruiter. Had he never taken the New Mexico job, Locksley might have been a very real candidate to replace Ralph Friedgen instead of Randy Edsall.

But let’s not try to pretend like anything that happened in New Mexico actually didn’t. The man was suspended for hitting an assistant coach, dealt with discrimination complaints and saw a young man get popped for DUI while driving his car.

All while compiling a 2-26 record.

Staying with the Terps for a minute, I wanted to tell you about my Christmas Eve church experience. My girlfriend and I attended the late service over in Timonium. I went wearing a Baltimore Orioles hat and hoodie. At first I thought people were looking at me because they didn’t like seeing someone wearing a hat in church, but I found out later they were just confused as to why I didn’t wear a hat from a team that was actually good.

I thought pastor Danny O’Brien did a nice job with the first half of his message, but I found it to be quite strange when Randy Edsall pulled him and stuck in pastor CJ Brown, then somehow tried to rotate the two throughout the rest of the service.

It just didn’t make any sense to me.

(Note: This is only funny if you know that the pastor in Timonium is REALLY named Danny O’Brien. Even then it’s only a LITTLE funny.)

4. Thanks for nothing, worthless St. Louis Rams.

Some people seemed to think the Rams had a chance to beat the Pittsburgh Steelers because the Steelers started Charlie Batch at QB in place of Ben Roethlisberger.

I guess some people just hadn’t seen the St. Louis Rams this season.

The Steelers get the Cleveland Browns in Week 17. In other words, the Ravens better figure out a way to win in the Queen City.

5. After losing to the Philadelphia Eagles, the Dallas Cowboys can still host a NFC playoff game. Can we change playoff formats already?

The Cowboys have been HORRIBLE down the stretch, including practically no effort in their loss to Philly Saturday after Tony Romo got a boo boo.

The Cowboys-Giants winner will have nine wins and would likely host a Lions team with 10 or 11. But that’s fair and all.

6. I’m sorry I missed the Hawaii Bowl, it’s just that my father wove a tapestry of obscenities that as far as I know is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan.

Apparently I missed seeing Southern Miss and Nevada getting all “brawl-y” in the Eagles’ win.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQAEAlCwpjY

I of course missed the game because (like everyone else in this country) I was missing watching “A Christmas Story” once or twice on TBS.

I made two statements about “A Christmas Story” this year.

One-Ralphie’s mom was absolutely wrong about the lamp. Inappropriate or not, his dad had every right to be proud of and display his major award.

Two-Ralphie’s mom was RIGHT about the Red Ryder BB gun. Ralphie WAS in danger of shooting his eye out. Waiting one year would have been the best bet.

7. And in this year’s local play, the role of Ebenezer Scrooge will be played by Donovan McNabb.

Dude, who promises to donate $5,000 to charity (in this case, Vikings P Chris Kluwe’s charity) and then stiffs?

The only thing worse than that? How about CBS putting on a new Rob Schneider TV show?

I cringe every time I see a preview during a Ravens game.

And my “oh no” moment from outside the world of football…

“Oh no, everyone involved in this Budweiser NBA commercial should be ashamed of themselves.”

Look, I like Steve Kerr a lot. I LOVE the Phoenix Suns Gorilla. I even tend to find myself pulling for that maniac Mark Cuban. But this…this is so bad the NBA should think about taking the Larry O’Brien Trophy away…

There is a 90% chance LMFAO is related to a terrorist cell.

(Thanks to Deadspin, Awful Announcing, SportsGrid, The AP, BroBible, Yahoo! Sports, NBC’s Darren Rovell, Busted Coverage, NESN, ProFootballTalk, CBS Sports and YouTube for tips.)

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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1 Comments For This Post

  1. Paul in Crofton Says:

    Hopefully the Bengals burn a dvd copy of Jerome Simpson’s touchdown leap to give to him. Then when he’s sitting in his cell next year, or in the prison recreational room, he can play it and point out to all the other inmates, “see, I told you I used to play in the NFL!”

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