The 15-7-0 Is The Ultimate Performance Enhancer

December 12, 2011 | Glenn Clark

8. It was nice to see Drew Brees and the New Orleans Saints come to life, even if it wasn’t enough to save my fantasy football season.

The Saints beat the Tennessee Titans without Mark Ingram, thanks in part to Matt Hasselbeck getting hurt. Jake Locker nearly marched down LP Field to win the game at the end; but ultimately couldn’t overcome Marques Colston’s 2TD day.

Oh, and Santa Claus proposed to a Titans cheerleader. It was a big day.

9. You probably still don’t know who Elvis Akpla is, but he did something amazing Saturday.

It was one of the few highlights for the Montana State Bobcats in their NCAA FCS quarterfinal loss to Sam Houston State, but it might be the greatest catch you’ll ever see…

The other winners in the playoffs this weekend were North Dakota State, Georgia Southern and Montana. We’ll now allow a few humans and multiple computers to randomly pick which two play for the National Championship. It’s the American way.

10. The Detroit Lions won their game Sunday. After the last few weeks they have the right to not worry too much about everything that went into it.

The Lions were leading 31-14 at the half and had to hang on for dear life as Christian Ponder Donovan McNabb Brett Favre Joe Webb lead the Vikes back in the 2nd half. DeAndre Levy got away with what appeared to be a face mask call on the final play of the game…

“What appeared to be”. I say that as if I’m a coach who has to be worried about a fine from the NFL. IT WAS A FACE MASK. The Blind Boys of Alabama thought it was a missed call.

The Lions hung on and they’re now in great shape to nab a Wild Card spot in the NFC, thanks in part to the fact that some other teams apparently have absolutely no interest in going to the playoffs.

11. You’re going to find this hard to believe, but the Philadelphia Eagles aren’t technically dead yet.

Look. They’re not going to the playoffs. I think. But after beating the Miami Dolphins Sunday, they’re just two games out in the NFC East with three to play. Michael Vick returned Sunday, but the win was way more about Philly’s defense…

Wait. Weren’t we supposed to be firing Eagles DC Juan Castillo (in order to save Andy Reid’s job)?

Also fun here-JP Losman is still in the NFL. Who knew???

(Monday afternoon update: Tony Sparano fired. There’s still an opening at the University of Akron if he’s interested.)

12. Unlike other schools, Texas A&M appears to deserve credit for hiring the coach they actually wanted.

Former Houston coach Kevin Sumlin swore before the Conference USA Championship Game he hadn’t talked to any other schools about their openings.

And, you know, I’m sure someone somewhere believed it.

The Cougars are historically an offensive-minded program. Mike Leach would have been a fine option given his ties in the state of Texas, but I know another guy who’s available…

Don’t ask to see his college diploma during the interview process however.

13. Iced field goal and all, Eli Manning put together a fine comeback Sunday night.

There was ZERO chance New York Giants coach Tom Coughlin wasn’t going to call a timeout as Dallas Cowboys kicker Dan Bailey lined up for what would have been a game-tying field goal in Arlington. I think we all knew what was going to happen after that…

Let’s see what Jason Garrett thinks about the situation…

Brandon Jacobs’ reaction was (as you can expect) much more celebratory…

By the way, I like to call the Cowboys-Giants matchup “that game that is much more significant based on market size than how good the teams actually are” bowl. These teams stink. But the game was marginally compelling, so they’ve got that going for them.

14. Ray Rice + NFL Blitz cover = coolest thing ever.

Clearly it doesn’t have the same cache as getting the cover of Madden 13, but in Glenn Clark’s world Ray Rice just got an even greater honor…

You see, Glenn Clark was an OBSESSED NFL Blitz player growing up until a few months ago. In fact, there’s a rumor Glenn Clark was such a great NFL Blitz champion that he knows every step to the Cabbage Patch Hip-Hop…


15. I have no idea what this is an ad for but I plan to purchase it.

This is an ad for cologne. Or perhaps an energy drink. Maybe for Under Armour. I don’t know…

Apparently the Lingerie Football League gals were doing something related to PETA. I don’t know what that is, but I’ll take three.