The 15-7-0 Of The Century

November 07, 2011 | Glenn Clark

7 Not-So-Positive Observations…

1. Nothing good has happened this season for Maryland football. Nothing good at all.

The Terrapins lost to Virginia Saturday in a game that no one in this state will ever remember having happened. That’s (sort of) a shame, only because their uniforms were the best they had worn all season.

We still have seats on our Coors Lite “The Irish Are Coming” bus next Saturday to see Maryland play Notre Dame at FedEx Field. I know the Terps stink and the Fighting Irish are disappointing, but go anyway. Or don’t. It’s your life, man.

2. I know the St. Louis Rams stink and all, but they should still be ashamed of themselves for losing a game to John Skelton.

The only thing worth discussing about this game is Patrick Peterson’s baller 99 yard punt return for a touchdown…

By the way, the Rams have won more games with AJ Feeley at quarterback this season than they have with Sam Bradford under center. Just sayin’.

3. “Blowout loss to previously winless Miami Dolphins” was probably not how the Kansas City Chiefs wanted to follow up “thrilling win over AFC West rival on Monday Night Football.”

Do you get the feeling Tony Sparano is hellbent on saying to the Fins’ management “if you’re not going to fire me, I’m just going to go ahead and do my best to ruin your chances of getting Andrew Luck?”

By the way, Reggie Bush had another pretty decent game. With that in mind, the team might want to put Kim Kardashian on payroll. (You know, if the rumors are true.)

And Todd Haley can now shave the beard. The sham however-the shame can not be shaved off.

4. Everyone is innocent until proven guilty, but the evidence against former Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky is unthinkably disturbing.

This isn’t funny at all; but I cannot BELIEVE the title of Jerry Sandusky’s biography was “Touched”…


This is one of the worst things I’ve ever heard of in the history of college football. All men are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law, but the grand jury report is damning to say the least. It will likely be the end of perhaps the greatest coach in the history of the sport (Joe Paterno) and casts a MASSIVE black cloud over a Nittany Lions team that is very much in the thick of the Big Ten race.

This is JUST awful.

5. Chris Johnson is doing his damndest to play his way out of a lot of money.

Which doesn’t bother me much at all, except for the fact that the Tennessee Titans’ loss Sunday meant the Ravens are still tied with Cincinnati Bengals atop the AFC North.

The bigger issue for CJ2k (who is by no means strapped for cash thanks to a signing bonus) is that his (lack of) production might make the Titans decide they don’t need to pay him $8 million next season and let him go.

It’s easy to beat him up for his holdout, but this is life for a NFL Running Back at this point. It also makes the Chicago Bears wonder just how valuable Matt Forte really is and same for the Ravens and one Ray Rice.

6. I can’t possibly “LOL” enough when it comes to the Washington Redskins.

The San Francisco 49ers’ win across the country at FedEx Field was a bit of a reminder of why the John Harbaugh-Jim Harbaugh showdown is worrisome, but otherwise I can’t stop chuckling about how awful the Skins are. He’s photo evidence, starting with John Beck…

And now a hilarious picture of Mike Shanahan as well…


7. The Big Ten has little to offer the College Football world this season. The ACC has next to nothing. The Big East has nothing.

I could sit here and tell you about a bunch of games you didn’t even know happened (Hey look, Cincinnati won at Pitt!), or I could show you video of Louisville coach Charlie Strong body surfing his Cardinals players after their win over West Virginia. I assume you know which one I’d choose…

And my “oh no” moment from outside the world of football…

“Oh no, the Orioles hired a man who has his CELL PHONE NUMBER ON HIS FACEBOOK PAGE as their General Manager.”

Raise your hand if you’ll take a job no one else on the planet wants because you’ve been outside of baseball for so long you were reasonably certain no one still knew you existed…

Welcome aboard Dan Duquette. We’re all pulling for you, but none of us think you’ll succeed.

There is already a Fake Dan Duquette on Twitter. He says…

“Like Ron Burgundy jumping into a bear pit, I immediately regret this decision.”

Keep at it, Duke.

(Thanks to Deadspin,, Awful Announcing, YouTube, What Would Tyler Durden Do and The Big Lead for tips.)

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…