14. Alex Hawkins
The former Baltimore Colts running back and co-captain was nicknamed “Captain Who?” after Hall of Fame linebacker Dick Butkus didn’t know who he was during a pre-game coin toss, but Hawkins was notorious for staying out all night — occasionally getting into trouble — and is quite the storyteller despite not quite living up to late teammate Art Donovan in that department.
Several readers and listeners gave a nod to the 76-year-old not only for his reputation for getting into mischief in his younger days but for his work as a commentator in the 1970s that landed him on the unemployment line on several occasions. According to a 1991 piece by John Steadman, Hawkins once introduced a contest between Philadelphia and New Orleans by saying, “Ladies and gentleman, today we have the two worst teams in football playing on the worst field in the league. Stay tuned, this should be hilarious.”
If that wasn’t enough, Hawkins once quipped about a player with two broken hands that he’d find out who his real friends were when he had to go to the men’s room. It was the kind of work that left network executives cringing but fans howling as he’s also written books sharing humorous stories about his NFL days.
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