An open letter to the New York Yankees — It’s over, guys. O-V-E-R…

September 06, 2012 | Drew Forrester

For a decade, the Yankees and their fans have been punks.  Winning punks, but punks nonetheless.  You’ve been arrogant and abrasive and dickish, if that’s even a word.  And it hasn’t helped that our team has sucked in the last decade.  You’re the big brother we wanted to grow up to be like — and here it is, now.  We’ve grown up.

Caution: You guys are getting your asses kicked by the Orioles this weekend.

Here’s to hoping we run up the score on you this weekend.  If it’s 9-1, I say go with the double-steal and try to tack on a couple of more runs.  Play the infield in, Buck.  Don’t let those scallywags get one more run than they deserve.  I hope we giggle our asses off all weekend while we pound you and your pinstripes into submission.

For once, the Orioles are on top.  And I say:  It’s time to pile on.

I really hope there’s no let-up.  I’d love to see Joe Girardi shed a tear or two.  It would warm my heart to see A-Rod down in the dumps. I am an unabashed Derek Jeter fan — one of the best gentlemen I’ve seen in sports over the last 15 years — but I’d laugh my ass off if the manager tells The Great #2 to take a rest in the 7th inning of an 11-1 blowout loss on Saturday evening at Camden Yards. I’ll take Nick Swisher and Robinson Cano on my team any day, but it sure would be a pleasure to see them miserable this weekend, looking at called third strikes that probably didn’t crease the corner of the plate but were called strikes nonetheless.

If we’re really fortunate, the air conditioning at your posh downtown Baltimore hotel goes out this weekend and you’re all miserable in both your rooms and at the ballpark.  Maybe the hot water stops working – like your pitching has – in the visitor’s locker room at Camden Yards and it’s cold showers for everyone.  I won’t stoop so low as to wish food poisoning on the whole team.  But maybe half the team…

The Yankees and their insufferable legion of fans have made baseball fans in Baltimore miserable for a decade or more.

Now, it’s your turn to see how the great unwashed lives.

This visit to Baltimore reminds me of the final scene in “Training Day” where Ethan Hawke shoots Denzel Washington in the rear end while the two fight over a bag of money that Washington needs to pay off a do-or-die debt.

Washington challenges Hawke by saying, “Go ahead Jake, shoot me…go ahead…I don’t think you got it in you, Jake.  Shoot me…shoot me…”

Well, Yankees, I say:  “I don’t think you got it in you…”

I guess I’ll see over the next four days, but I’m thinking your clock is just about ready to hit midnight.

Nighty night…

Take this weekend ass-whipping like a good boy, Joe and A-Rod and C.C. and Derek and Robinson and the rest of you who have used our ballpark as your own personal playpen since 1998.  Don’t be throwing at our hitters when you’re getting bush-whacked in these four games.  Take your beatings like a professional.

When you pack up your stuff after Sunday’s game at Camden Yards, the Cleat of Reality will have finally delivered a September message to you that we’ve grown accustomed to accepting over the years:  You can’t win ’em all.

Enjoy the collapse, New York.

You’ve earned it.


16 Comments For This Post

  1. Calvin @ JHH Says:

    Wow, Drew. Great Blog!

  2. bill Says:

    No one cares what you think about the Orioles, Drew. Go get yourself a diet soda and head to the driving range to work on your awful golf game. You’re the worst sports guy in Baltimore. Actually, you’re the worst in the country. (DF: Well, at least you didn’t say I was the worst sports guy in the WORLD…I think that would have really hurt my feelings.)

  3. Will Says:

    Haha Bill says the same thing everyday…smh. Solid read Drew!

  4. Steve from Sandpoint Says:

    Bill, get some new material you are getting old real fast, same crap every day. Nice blog, Drew.

  5. BelAirSteve Says:

    Yeah, next thing you know, Bill will start asking to bring back Youpon!

  6. waspman Says:

    This might have been a more enjoyable read if the O’s hadn’t lost to down-and-out Toronto while the RIP Yanquis were beating the recent perennial contenders from Tampa (which, oh by the way) are, ummm, contending. And, oh by the way, yesterday made us one game under the team supposely six feet under.

    While 82 wins is no longer the goal despite it exceeding my 72-win prediction, and it would surely be nice to see a $200-250B payroll playing golf in October like losers do, the timing of this blog entry doesn’t exactly represent Baltimore with any class — kind of like Kegasus at the Preakness.

    Meanwhile in New York, there was an eventful day at a sporting event called the US Open. There was not one link to anything about any of those stories on Crabs and Beer. (DF: Who cares what you think…you are a Yankees fan I’m guessing. LOL about “classy”…those New Yorkers are a classy bunch. Enjoy the collapse Doc.)

  7. John Says:

    Great write up Drew! I’m ready for tonight!

  8. NC Orioles Fan Says:

    Anyone want to say “Why Not” the 2012 version.

    Go Birds!!!!!!!!!!!

  9. NC Orioles Fan Says:

    Drew, I really hope you don’t have to eat your own column after this weekend. Great to Yankees bash but words like this will only draw the fire from Yankees. Their reply might burn down Camden Yards. (DF: Oh, right…the Yankees are suddenly going to start trying harder because of me. Give me a break, bro…)

  10. tsnamm Says:

    Well Drew it looks like Adam Jones bailed out Pedro Strop, who seems to be morphing into Armando Benitez before our eyes…Buck should have pulled him after he couldn’t find the strike zone with a GPS unit, and walked in a run.When you see performances like this happen in games that are for all the marbles, you realize how young this team is and how valuable experience is. Luckily Girardi keeps on sticking with Robertson too…

  11. Art Lawrence Says:

    maybe this is a good time to post the videos from the Free the Birds vigil you hosted on opending day in April. Their sucess has to be directly linked to that event. (DF: That’s a great idea! Let me go to the archives and dig it out. It’s probably right near the video of my trying to get the Orioles to put “BALTIMORE” back on the road jerseys for three years before they finally caved in and did it.)

  12. NC Orioles Fan Says:

    Drew, see I told ya you might want to be cautious with your words had not Pedro Strop almost blown the game. Them Yanks do have ways to come back.

    Laat night’s was the most exciting game to eatch since the last game of last season when the Bords knocked the Redsox out of the playoffs, the Rays beat the Yanks after staging a 7-runs comeback then the Cardinals beat the Braves, all in span of 44 minutes thanks to live television.

    So after the Orioles staged their own comeback, I pulled a Natty Boh (OPCY anniversary can) and cheered the Birds win. BTW, Natty Boh is made here in North Carolina. In Eden by Pabst Brewery Co near the VA line.

    One down, three to go. GO BIRDS!!!!!!!!!!

    (DF: Yeah, you told me I should be cautious with my words. Guess what? I didn’t listen. Thanks…)

  13. tsnamm Says:

    Chen pitching batting practice tonight…gonna need to put a stake thru the Yankee’s heart first…which means NO sloppy pitching…BTW amazing how Yankee fans always get mixed up in interference of HR’s. (DF: Yeah, I was thinking the same thing, but that wasn’t interference. The ball missed McLouth’s glove and hit the back of the wall. Too bad it didn’t bounce up and hit the Yankees fan in the head.)

  14. tsnamm Says:

    Strop is obviously completely intimidated by the Yankees…he nibbles, and goes to 3-2 constantly…if we make it to the playoffs and see them again Strop will either need to get his sh** together or Buck can’t use him in any meaningful games…Strop cost us a game in NY, nearly cost us the 1st game here, and has now put us in the hole again…its a huge difference when you pitch in meaningless games as a last place team, and when you pitch in important games in Sep. or Oct…Pedro doesn’t have it.

  15. NYY Says:

    guess we’ll look for the retraction in the back of the nst newsletter. click, click, click.

  16. Nick Says:

    Guess the house that was supposed to crush the Wicked Witch of the East wasn’t heavy enough…

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