Friday Mud is better than a day at the beach

January 21, 2011 | Drew Forrester

Now what?

No more football, or at the least, no more football that we REALLY care about.  There are supposedly two games this weekend, but I couldn’t care less who wins.

Actually, I take that back.  I DO care who wins.  Back in August when Glenn and I did our pre-season picks, I predicted the Green Bay Packers would win the Super Bowl (over some team from…ummm…Baltimore).  I’d love nothing more than for Green Bay to follow through and win the Super Bowl so I can cash in on that huge wager I made in the pre-season.

Oh, that’s right.  I didn’t actually make a wager.

Well, I bet you one thing right now:  You’re gonna love this edition of Friday Mud.

It’s such a slam-dunk bet that Vegas won’t even take odds on it.

Just for fun…I’ll bet you $100 you get a kick out of it.

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>  This past Tuesday night I had a little fun at the expense of Philadelphia Flyers fans.  I went to Philly to see the Caps and Flyers play at the beautiful Wells Fargo Center.  I took THIS RIGHT HERE and dropped it in the men’s urinal during the second period, then proceeded to “do my business” on the card.  I zipped up and hustled out.  At last glance, the card was floating comfortably in a urinal of …well, you get the picture.  Anyway, I playfully tweeted about my little moment of fun the next day. I thought it was funny. Evidently, Stephanie Fawcett didn’t think it was funny.  Because I want you all to see that I do, in fact, respond to my critics, here’s our e-mail exchange from Wednesday.

Drew,

I was appalled at your admission that you took a Bobby Clarke hockey card and urinated on it while you were at a hockey game in Philadelphia last (Tuesday) night.  I don’t see how you possibly find any humor in doing something like that.  I was driving my 13 year old son to school when I heard you gleefully explain the story and how proud you were of this “feat”.  So please, Drew, explain to me why you would urinate on a hockey card of Bobby Clarke on Tuesday night so I can then explain it to my son.

Thank you.

I look forward to your reply.

Stephanie Fawcett, Bel Air, MD


Stephanie,

I can explain very easily why I peed on a hockey card of Bobby Clarke on Tuesday night. Because I couldn’t find a card of Ken Linseman.

Regards,

DF

>  Our WNST staff photographer was dispatched to chase the Ray Lewis “supplement spray” story on Thursday.  He flew to Florida and started a late afternoon stake-out of Ray’s house in South Florida.  Around 6:00 pm, I got a text from our photographer.  It read:  ”Didn’t see Ray today but snuck over the gated fence and took a picture of his backyard before security chased me away.  Will forward the pic soon.”  About one hour later, THIS PHOTO arrived on my phone.  Looks like Ray’s backyard to me.

>  NFL referees are very particular about being interviewed by the media.  In fact, last Saturday after the Ravens/Steelers game, I wanted to spend a minute asking head referee Jeff Triplette a few questions but he wouldn’t allow it.  I asked if I could take a picture of him for the web-site and he refused that as well.  Hey, I’m a man who doesn’t take “no” for an answer, so I waited around the corner and got THIS GREAT SNAPSHOT of Triplette as he left Heinz Field.

>  I’m not a big sports memorabilia buff, but I couldn’t help notice this ad in a local sports collectibles magazine last week. Here’s what it read:  “NFL player auctioning off authentic game jersey from 2010 season.  Worn in all 16 games plus playoffs.  In brand new condition.  No dirt marks, no sweat stains, no tears or discolorations.  Team equipment manager never had to wash the jersey.  Still in pristine condition.  $1,000 or best offer.” CLICK HERE FOR PHOTO. Yep, it sure does look brand new to me.

>  The sign that ruined Jen Royle’s entire 2010 is RIGHT HERE.

>   Never let it be said that the Orioles don’t listen to their fans.  A large number of people publicly lashed out at the team after their recent announcement that adults would have to pay $15 for autographs at FanFest next Saturday.  The Orioles issued the following statement:  ”In response to the large reaction from our adult fans, we’re pleased to provide everyone with a free picture of a Mike Boddicker signed baseball.  Simply CLICK HERE and print the picture out for display in your memorabilia room or collectibles cabinet.  There is NO charge for this photo of the autographed item, courtesy of Esskay Hot Dogs.”

>  Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger has been accused of not necessarily treating women very well, but then we find out he’s actually engaged to be married in 2011.  Turns out Big Ben is a bit of a romantic.  Our WNST staff photographer caught Ben walking with his fiancee on the beach down in Florida right after Pittsburgh’s regular season ended and the Steelers had a few days off before beginning playoff preparations.  As you can see RIGHT HERE, her tan is a little darker than his.

>  Song #7 on my all-time-favorite CD actually ISN’T my favorite song from this artist.  In fact, I can probably think of 3-4 songs I like better.  But for some reason, if I could only put 16 songs on a CD and play it for the rest of my life, this is the song from LED ZEPPELIN that I’d put on the CD.  Not only would it remind me of growing up in Glen Burnie, but it would always remind me of “Fast Times At Ridgemont High” when Damone tells Ratner, “Always play side 2 of Led Zeppelin 4″ and Ratner screws up and plays Physical Graffiti instead.

> Styx is our Friday Featured Artist today on The Morning Reaction.  Anyone who has been to Heinz Field has grown sick of hearing them blare “Renegade” over the speakers at some critical point during the 4th quarter.  That got to me thinking. Shouldn’t the Orioles pump in a “team song” during the games this upcoming season?  Wouldn’t that be cool?  A song all the fans can identify with in Baltimore, like the folks in Pittsburgh latch on to Renegade by Styx.  It took me a few days of sifting through iTunes, but I found the perfect song.  Really, they should just play THIS SONG in the middle of the 4th inning at all home games at Camden Yards.

> Two longtime Ravens staffers pulled me aside yesterday – independent of one another – and basically asked me the same thing…”Drew, you’ve been here a long time, have you ever seen people (fans) react like this after a successful season?”  My answer to both of them was an emphatic “No, I haven’t.”  I playfully suggested to one staffer that they should buy every season ticket holder a 13-game ticket plan with the Orioles just so they could go to the ballpark and see the other end of the spectrum.  One staffer said, “The last time we tried to work with the baseball team, they stuck us with a bill for 25,000 hats.  I think we’ll pass on working with them.”  I smiled and said, “You just lost your press pass, pal.”

>  Remember in “Major League” when Ricky Vaughn thought he was cut because there was a red tag in his locker?  Sunday, Cam Cameron called John Harbaugh and said, “Am I in?  Or out?”  John said, “Cam, we’re talking about that right now.  I tell you what, I’ll leave a message on the door of your office so when you come in tomorrow you’ll know where you stand with us and we won’t have to talk about it anymore.”  Cameron walked in on Monday and SAW THIS — and now he knows where he stands.

>  You gotta hand it to Gary Williams.  They lost by 17 Thursday night to Virginia Tech.  Afterwards, Gary lamented the team’s inability to score the easy buckets.  ”I’m going to find someone who can put those easy ones away and I’m going to find that someone soon.”  The Terps announced early this morning that they’ve signed an African player who can be seen RIGHT HERE.  Well, I bet he’s better than James Padgett.

>  I love these multiple-choice questions.  Is the girl in THIS PICTURE imitating:  A) Jenn Sterger in the Jets locker room  B) Ben Roethlisberger’s girlfriend on the Steelers team bus  C) Just some girl from the internet who wants a marshmallow shot in her mouth

>  And I’ll end it with this.  The Orioles raised ticket prices for 2011.  They tried to slide it past everyone yesterday while the entire city was focused on the Ravens and their state-of-the-team press conference.  How else can you explain that they picked YESTERDAY, of all the days in January, to announce it?  Of course they did it intentionally.  That’s obvious.  That said, I just about peed myself when I read Greg Bader’s quote that “costs” have gone up.  Actually, Greg, over the last six years, if you break them down into two, 3-year segments, the team has spent roughly $30 million LESS on player salaries since Andy MacPhail took over in 2007.  Where’s that $30 million?  What “costs” have gone up, Greg?  These are the questions we’d ask if the Orioles allowed the media to question them.  Alas, you’re not allowed to ask them questions.  Here’s what Bader REALLY wants to say, but he can’t.  ”Because we’ve drawn less fans over the last 5 years, we’ve generated less revenue.  We need to try and reclaim some of that lost revenue and the quickest, easiest way to do that is to raise ticket prices.”  Hey, maybe they’re raising these prices so they can store away $150 million for Prince Fielder.  Or maybe they’re just raising the prices so they can put more in their pockets.  Yeah, that’s probably it. Wake me up when the baseball team wins half of their games and they can justify charging the fans more money to see their product.  Nudge me when the baseball team allows the media to ask questions about their organizational decisions.  What a joke…

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