February 14, 2009 |

Time is up boys; the gig is over.  Listen up Donald Fehr, Gene Orza, and Bud Selig because Lord knows you would screw up a free lunch.  Here is how you get rid of steroids and rid the game of its greatest black eye since the 1919 Black Sox scandal.  

First, come clean and I mean completely clean.  Reveal every player that ever did steroids, name the names.   All 103 players that flunked the ‘03 test should be revealed.  Look, the names are going to come out one by one anyway; so get it over with.  Yes, you will get roasted by the media and Congress, but you deserve it.  In the end, it will help start the healing process.

Second, Bud, admit that you, the owners, and your staffs knew about the problem and basically swept it under the rug in the name of profit.   Players union, admit you knew but wanted to have it kept quiet in the name of big player contracts.   Yes, money was your God.

Next, Don and Gene, relent your stupid ideals and get tough.  Work with your players, like Curt Schilling, who want to clean the game up.  Get the players to vote in favor of blood tests for Human Growth Hormone (HGH).    Work to improve the reliability of testing and work to find tests to uncover masking agents.  Make it a level playing field again.  Yes, contracts may fall in the short term, but eventually they will rise again because the owners are big dopes who you can’t control themselves.   These guys make Wall Street bankers look good.

Lastly, begin steps to expunge the records of the steroid era.  Identify once and for all when it started.  Was anything that happened from 1990-2004 real?  The answer is no.  Nothing was real.   The great players of this era—Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa, Barry Bonds, Rafael Palmeiro, Roger Clemens, and Alex Rodriguez–all are now jokes.  An entire generation is left doubting its heroes.  

See goofs, the damage you and these juiced idiots caused will tarnish this era for ever and threatens the future.  This isn’t about your legacy; it’s about the intergity of the game. 

Little lesson for you boys, most true baseball fans would rather see 35 home runs be the league best than to have the farce that was the 1998 home run chase between McGwire and Sosa happen again.  (Side note: we the fans are just as much to blame because we bought that chase, hook, line and sinker.)  We would rather see the game return to hit & run or playing small ball than having a bunch of Hulk Hogan-like freaks hitting the ball 600 feet because of some shake they used.  It’s okay with me if players drop off in production after the age of 35 rather than see them hit another 200 home runs because of steroids.  We can take pitchers who throw in the mid 80s to low 90s, like Scott McGregor or Mike Flanagan, rather than some HGH supplement user that goes out there and throws 96 but can’t hit the side of the barn, much less a catcher’s mitt.

See baseball was meant to be pure, and in its purest form, we can take All-Star players that hit .285, with 27 home runs and 92 RBI’s, yet can field, run, and throw.  We want players that we know are doing their best without the help steroids and HGH.

Yes, you got rich.  Your profits like your players got bigger, but in the process, the game and its history got poorer.  You disparaged players who came before and made it what it was.  Records are shams, heroes are villains, and the integrity of the game is ruined. But like slimy Wall Street-types, you got filthy, stinking rich, and to you that is all that mattered.  Bud, have you figured out how to spend that $18 million a year you make?

What a shame the last 20 years of baseball have been.   Nice job, but at last the party is over.  It’s time for you to go in front of the baseball gods and for you to do your confession.  It’s time for your penance.   Say two Our Fathers, two Hail Mary, and for your act of contrition clean up the game of baseball!  Until you do this, you will not be able to go in peace, and the integrity of the game cannot be restored. 

Baseball will bounce back.  If it can come back after that idiotic strike of 1994, it can come back from anything.