It was the car accident you don’t really want to gawk at, but as your car squeezes from the closed right lane ahead and merges to the left, you have to steal a quick glance at the wreckage 15 feet to your right.
That’s what happened on Saturday night in New York, where the Orioles were humiliated by the Yankees, losing 17-3 after giving up 12 runs in the first inning.
I had to keep watching.
I figured one of three things would happen: 1) The Yankees would win 34-3. 2) They’d go up 16-0 and someone from the O’s would throw at Mark Teixeira and all hell would break loose. 3) The Yankees would win 17-3 and neither team would really try for the final 8 innings.
But I watched it all anyway.
The funniest part of the night was having to endure those between-the-innings MASN commercials where the announcer talks about “defining moments” and that other garbage. I realize they can’t pull those in the middle of the game, but even the most ardent Orioles apologist has to laugh at the timing of a commercial that talks about Jake Arrieta holding Paul Konerko to an 0.67 batting average while the Yankees were putting up a 12 spot in the inning before.
I’ll give the Orioles credit. Unlike a few weeks back when Kevin Gregg couldn’t leave well enough alone and started a brawl in the 9th inning of a blowout, the Orioles took their beating like a man on Saturday night at Yankee Stadium. No beanballs, no chicanery or tom foolery — just an ass whipping.
A friend of mine sent me a text during the game. It read: “How pissed off are you right now? LOL”
Honestly? I didn’t get pissed off once.
I’m numb to it all now, as most of you probably are, too.
Were you shocked to see the Yankees pile up a 12-0 lead? I wasn’t.
I just sat and took it all in, much like Buck Showalter was forced to do throughout the nearly hour-long first inning.
What’s there to get mad at, anyway? This train careened out of control a month ago when the Orioles stumbled and bumbled through the month of June and slid into the All-Star break having lost 21 of 27 games.
No sense getting upset.
The team stinks.
I thought they’d be better — and they’re not.
I’m worn out from watching them get pounded 5 out of 7 nights.
But I still watch.
Sometimes I watch because I’m almost sure they’re going to do something completely crazy, like give up 12 runs in the first inning.
Sometimes I watch because I think…well…I don’t really know why I watch, honestly.
I just watch.
And I’m never surprised.
It’s the Oriole way.
We’re just not very good.