If you’re not familiar with the phenomenon that is Facebook, this won’t be the blog for you.
Anyone keeping an eye on the popular social networking site while watching the Orioles’ miraculous comeback victory over the Red Sox on Tuesday night inevitably saw a variety of angry wall messages and statuses (10-1) that gradually transformed into reserved hope (10-6) and, finally, jubilation (Orioles win, 11-10!).
While viewing all of these messages, I imagined what the Facebook news feed would look like describing this wild game and the various people involved. It might go a little something like this:
* 24,000 Boston fans are attending the event “Red Sox vs. Orioles at Fenway Park South.”
* 7,969 Baltimore fans are attending the event “Getting Drowned Out by Obnoxious ‘Sahx’ Fans in My Home Ballpark.”
* Adam Jones created the group “Outfield Walls Hurt.”
* Orioles fans ended their relationship with Rich Hill.
* Dave Trembley left the group “Give Your Pitcher the Quick Hook.”
* Luke Jones says it’s time to watch old episodes of The Office while keeping an eye on the game.
* John Smoltz’s status: “I really hate rain delays.”
* Rich Hill’s status: “I’m doing a rain dance and hoping the game and my stats are washed away!”
* Orioles fans and Felix Pie are now friends.
* Rich Hill updated his status: “Well, so much for that. I’m screwed.”
* Tony Randazzo’s status: “I just don’t feel like calling a good game behind the plate tonight.”
- Jim Palmer: “Well, you better start. Richie Garcia is watching.”
* Orioles fans wrote on Oscar Salazar’s wall: “Way to go…umm…what’s your name again?”
* Luke Jones is now giving his undivided attention to the Orioles game. 10-6.
* Terry Francona wrote on the Red Sox Bullpen’s Wall: “Guys, anytime you feel like showing up would be great.”
* Hideki Okajima started the group “Why do the Orioles—that’s right, the ORIOLES!—absolutely own me?”
- Jon Lester: “I’ll give you some pointers.”
* Jim Palmer and 10 other pitchers joined the group “I’m against consistently inconsistent umpiring.”
* Jonathan Papelbon wrote on Nick Markakis’ wall: “Dude, that’s not how the script is supposed to go!”
* Jonathan Papelbon and Nick Markakis are no longer friends.
* Jonathan Papelbon removed “chest thumping” from his favorite activities.
* Jim Hunter’s status: “I think I just wet myself!”
* George Sherrill’s status: “It’s Flat Breezy time.”
* Orioles fans created the group “There’s the Nick Markakis We Know and Love!”
* Terry Francona added “throwing things in my office” to his favorite activities.
* Rich Hill updated his status: “I wonder if people will have a short memory…”
* 937 Orioles fans attended the event “Greatest Comeback in Orioles History!”
* 11,437 Boston fans attended the event “What the H*ll Just Happened??!!!”
* Dave Trembley posted the note: “My players just saved my behind again!”
* It’s “complicated” between Orioles fans and the Baltimore Orioles.
* Luke Jones posted the video Orioles Magic.