Rest easy — the Orioles aren’t signing Manny Ramirez (right?)

February 08, 2012 | Drew Forrester

I won’t guarantee this.

I’ll SUPER-guarantee it.

The Orioles aren’t going to sign Manny Ramirez.

Yes, yes, I’m well aware Dan Duquette has publicly admitted the Orioles have “explored” a possible contract with the once-prolific, twice-suspended malcontent.

I reported the details of the potential marriage RIGHT HERE at yesterday.

But they’re not going to sign Ramirez.


Because there’s no way they’re that dumb.  Or that gullible.  Or that much in need of someone to generate polarizing commentary among the fans and media.

I’m SUPER-guaranteeing it.  They’re not signing Manny Ramirez.

There’s no reason to sign the former Red Sox slugger.  None.  The only thing he brings to the Orioles – or anyone else for that matter – is the high likelihood of regret.  Call it buyer’s remorse or any other fancy description for what happens when you take a gamble on someone or something you shouldn’t be gambling on, but that’s exactly the scenario created by a Ramirez contract.

Are you a black-jack player?  You pull a King and the 8 of Hearts.  You staying on 18?  Or do you want another card?  Right.  You’ll hold. That next card could be an ace, 2 or 3 — but you know, as a gambler, the odds are greater that you’re getting a 4 or higher when that next card is flipped.

Ramirez is the “10” you pull when you’re already on King-8.

He’s a bad gamble.

Make that…a horrible gamble.

Why on earth would the Orioles trust him after what he did to Tampa Bay last April?  Answer: They won’t.  That’s why they’re not going to sign him.

Ramirez made $18 million in 2010 with the Dodgers and White Sox.

No one in the league wanted him last off-season.  No one.  So he decided to sign on with the Rays for the “paltry” sum of $2 million. And then…about ten weeks later, he quit.  Just like that.  He quit.

Why did he quit?  Well, for starters, he wound up getting busted for a 2nd violation of the league’s substance abuse policy, a test result he contested but nonetheless lost when he was suspended for 100 games.

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