I get a lot of e-mail submissions from listeners. Some are funny. Some, like this one, are treasures. I’m sure, at his favorite new watering hole in the sky, Wild Bill is on a computer reading this and getting a belly laugh. Marc, a Comcast Morning Show listener, e-mailed this to me this morning.
Please note that this is NOT from the Orioles. This is a fictitious, listener-created statement. It’s all in good fun. Enjoy…
Orioles statement on the passing of Wild Bill Hagy
The Orioles organization is deeply saddened to learn of the passing of “Wild Bill” Hagy. While Orioles management can not condone the type of behavior displayed by Mr. Hagy, and reminds fans that similar behavior will result in immediate ejection from Oriole Park at Camden Yards, we understand that his antics were very popular to the unsophisticated masses who frequented Memorial Park. In addition, the Orioles in no way encourage the excessive consumption of alcoholic beverages for which Mr. Hagy was known, no matter how uninteresting our on-field product may be. Lastly, the Orioles organization cautions fans that any cheering not initiated by the stadium scoreboards displaying either “Let’s Hear It O’s Fans” or “Turn It Up O’s Fans,” including but not limited to, fans spelling O-R-I-O-L-E-S by contorting their bodies in the shape of the letters, must be preceded by a written request to the Orioles Director of Ball Park Entertainment 90 days prior to attending the Orioles game in which said action is intended to take place.
Mr. Hagy was apparently one of the great characters of the Baltimore sports landscape and was a true die-hard Orioles fan, supporting the club year in and year out, not unlike the Washington-area businesses that we are honored to have lease our sky boxes each season. Though none of us in the current Orioles organization ever met “Wild Bill” and few of us were even aware of his existence, we extend our sincere condolences to his family and friends, but ask that they refrain from personally attending Orioles games due to the fact that their unkempt appearance is not in accordance with the Oriole Park dress code.
A moment of silence will be held in Mr. Hagy’s memory before tonight’s Orioles-Rangers game. Fans will recognize this moment of silence because it will be the only time during the game that our antiquated scoreboard and public address system, which the rotten Maryland Stadium Authority has refused to update at their expense because they like the Ravens better than us, will not blare snippets of pop music or display fan-friendly games such as Guess Which Hat the Baseball is Under.