(So…we’re nearly a thousand words into this. It seems like it might be a good time for you to prepare for my next statement by imaging me reading it in my best Jon Stewart voice.)
Mr. Duquette, just thank God you didn’t say anything along the lines of “we’re not interesting in acquiring players that could help the team win.” Just thank God you didn’t say anything after such a purposeful statement that would make us feel less hope of a run to the postseason.
Yep, thank God for that.
“I wouldn’t be too anxious to look outside the organization because we have a lot of the players here.”
You CAN’T say that, Dan! I’m certainly aware that Miguel Tejada has shown the ability to drive in runs for the Norfolk Tides. It’s just, the Orioles are trying to win the AL East, not EA Sports MVP Baseball 2005! I know Lew Ford’s .997 OPS looks sexy in the International League, but the Orioles have scored just 10 runs over their last seven games, compiling a 3-4 record during the stretch. Do you REALLY think Lew Ford solves that problem? Or Bill Hall? Or Nate McClouth?
You just CAN’T say things like that! Let us believe you at least might remotely be willing to consider it if it would improve the chances of surpassing the New York Yankees after the All-Star break! Let us believe your singular goal is to win, not to somehow manage to acquire every player you scouted for the Boston Red Sox over a decade ago!
Your comments were PROBABLY little more than a veiled way of saying “Hey! If this somehow magically continues we might consider letting Bundy pitch here once in September!”, but they came off as if you were really trying to suggest bring up LJ Hoes or Joe Mahoney would somehow truly improve this team!
Sure Dan, you have helpful pieces within the organization to lift the team into the postseason. And Axl Rose is FINALLY going to find the right lineup to tour with GNR by hanging out at The Brass Monkey in Fells Point and checking out cover bands.
(Remember, that was supposed to be in Jon Stewart voice. If you forgot, read those last sentences in an increasingly higher pitched tone as if you were listening to the very face palm moment in the “Daily Show” monologue. Now end scene.)
Thankfully Dan had a little more to say at Saturday’s event.
“But we’re always looking. We’re always looking, and you can rest assured that the ownership here wants to win this year. And if we’re in a position where we can improve the team and it makes sense, we’re certainly going to do it.”
I just hope there’s no money missing from my dresser and my daughter isn’t knocked up.