Ravens Coaches to Give Thanks

November 24, 2009 | Tom Federline

They should give thanks they still have a job! I’m talking about the three main challenged ones; head, offensive and defensive (coaches). I’m not talking about the other 19 coaches, assistant coaches, assistants to the assistants and the 10 guys/gals who squirt liquid into the mouths of steroid laden rocknuts. By the way, there’s 53 players on the team, why do you need 22 – 30 coaches and assistants? Oh, wait a minute I get it……it’s because they can’t even perform the job they were hired to do in the first place. They need to spread the incompetency around. I believe what happens is after they fail at coaching or being an assistant to an assistant, they are the ones that squirt the liquid into the mouths of the players that have forgotten to squeeze a bottle that provides nourishment. After the display of ineptitude I saw on Sunday, I have not listened to or watched anything related to supposed professional football.

As soon as I heard early last week the Ravens were favored………come on, you know me by now, you know what I said………..FIX! The Peyton Manning Dolts (-1) and the Ravens secondary, who are they trying to fool? And how did it end up? Dolts (-1), they won by 2. I rest my case. Then to see the Squeelers and Bungles score. Yeah, that’s it pour some salt in there, I’m not gonna put enough salt on my mashed potatoes this coming Thursday anyway.

Ok, I know, players make plays and coaches are supposed to coach. Well, Newsflash, if you don’t give the players the chance to make the plays, they are not going to. I was at the game on Sunday, I watched, I witnessed, I left in disgust. My daughter turns to me after the game, “Dad, they should have won, They had to many chances, Don’t they talk to each other?” This after we watched Kelley Washington be open a minimum of 8 times down the middle on a post, Todd Heap 5-10 times same route or coming across the middle, Mason going over the top, it was disgusting. Then we get to watch 2 cornerbacks(?) play 10-15 yards off the Dolt receivers. I don’t think they chucked them once. Manning could have played catch with his receivers and Clarke all day …………if he wanted to, it was disgusting. Special teams coach, we have one? Oh yeah, it’s the head coach, no – wait, isn’t he suppose to be an offensive genius, no – that was the last one. Did I mention that Washington and Heap were flailing their arms frantically when they were open down the field? Did they show that on television or did the numbnut radio team of Sandusky/White pick that up? Of the 20 or so plays you have as an option on the goal line and a 260 lb. hoss of a running back, you call a QB sneak and the same running play twice to a slant back? And let’s not forget, losing two time-outs late in the game, when “Hardhead” could have asked for a measurement and stopped the clock! Ten bucks says “Harbaugh” has used one of his not so famous excuses…”We could have done better, We have to improve on some of those areas of the game.” Hey Harbaugh, it’s the 10th game of the season, shouldn’t you be better by now? The game I saw, should have been Dolts 45 – Ravens anywhere from 10 – 60. Not the 17 -15 “Fix”. New stock broker/unemployed kicker ties Stovers FG record, same day Stover comes back as a COLT? Come on gang. There are no coincidences.

Suggestion to every single individual in the Ravens organization. Please ask yourself – “Who Are You?” – (The WHO)! Give thanks that you still have a job and your job is to coach or play a game. I hope you figure it out and soon. Because as of this date, all they deserve, is to be watching that song being played at halftime of the Super Bowl game from their theatre style home entertainment center in their million dollar house. The refs, the players, the coaches, the spreads, all not good.

It’s not all bad, gang. #52 is simply the best. Ray Lewis is worth the price of admission. When all else fails, and you’re at the game, take binos and just watch him. We are lucky to have that talent in our own house. Happy Thanksgiving. Give thanks to what makes you tick.