Top 10 Baseball Distractions

August 17, 2009 | Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention-Boxing: Juan Diaz vs. Paulie Malignaggi (Saturday 9:45pm from Houston live on HBO), Towson Football Picture Day (Tuesday 10:30am Unitas Stadium), WNST Fantasy Cram Session w/Thyrl Nelson & Eric Aaronson (Friday-Sunday, AM1570 WNST), NASCAR Sharpie 500 (Saturday 6:30pm from Bristol, TN live on ESPN), IRL Indy Grand Prix of Sonoma (Sunday 5pm from Infineon Raceway Live on VERSUS)

10-Better Than Ezra (Friday 8pm Power Plant Live), Creed (Friday 7:30pm Nissan Pavilion), Crue Fest 2 (Saturday 4pm Nissan Pavilion), Keith Urban (Thursday 7:30pm Verizon Center), Collective Soul (Wednesday 6:30pm Rams Head Live)

If I was going to go to any one of these shows……….

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WA1kjB-8olw[/youtube]

Look man, Creed? God bless and all; but no thanks. Motley Crue? Saw them 2 years ago at 1st Mariner Arena and I’m not even kidding, Tommy Lee spent 15 minutes of the show “praying.” Seriously. “Dear God, thank you for boobies.” I’m with him and all, but again, no thanks.

I’ll actually probably end up at BTE, mostly because it’s free. Which means that if I save up 4-5 paychecks from WNST, I can almost afford it. Plus, this song kinda kicks some ass…..

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9oU_vTNaKgI[/youtube]

9-Inglorious Basterds opens in theaters (Friday, wherever motion pictures may actually be good for once)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Krithhm1150[/youtube]

So, holy crap. I haven’t been to the movies since that Johnny Depp flick a couple weeks ago whose name I can’t even remember (seriously, the one with all the guns? How lazy of a blogger am I that I haven’t even bothered to go look it up? PUBLIC ENEMIES! Okay, that was an ordeal……) but I guess it’s time to go back. If this movie doesn’t kick ass, I’m just going to quit.

Blah blah blah, here’s Brad Pitt shirtless. Judge less, less ye be judged (Yeah, I’m basically a philosopher on top of all of the other great things about me……)

pitt

…..might need a moment.

8-IAAF World Championships (Tuesday-Friday 9am live on VERSUS, Saturday 1pm live on NBC, Sunday 2pm live on NBC. Every pole vault from Berlin)

I guess this whole thing kinda lost its appeal after Usain Bolt beat the LIVING CRAP out of Tyson Gay; but I’m sure there’s something else interesting going on here…..

Ummm…….

Maybe Ben Johnson will be there???

7-Golf: PGA Wyndham Championship (Thursday & Friday 2pm Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 2pm CBS every non-Tiger stroke from Greensboro), Champions Tour JELD-WEN Tradition (Thursday 7:30pm, Friday 8pm Golf Channel; Saturday & Sunday 4pm NBC. All Seniors Golf live from Sunriver, OR), LPGA Solheim Cup (Friday & Saturday 9am, Sunday 11am from Sugar Grove, Ill. live on Golf Channel)

No Tiger? Think maybe I’ll be watching the ladies this weekend……..

gulbis

6-US Open Series Tennis: Western & Southern Financial Group Masters (Thursday 12pm & 7pm, Friday 12pm, Saturday 12:30pm & 10pm live on ESPN2; Sunday-FINAL-12:30pm live on CBS. Every stroke from Cincinnati), WTA Rogers Cup (Friday 5pm Tennis Channel, 10:30pm ESPN2; Saturday 4pm ESPN2, 7pm Tennis Channel; Sunday-FINAL-3pm ESPN2. Every stroke from Montreal)

In fairness, there is a ONE HUNDRED PERCENT chance that this will be the best thing that happens in Cincinnati all year. I know there have been some miserable sports towns recently; but I actually feel bad for them. I have a feeling that this man is currently the athlete they are most proud of……

sabo

5-Maryland Football Scrimmage (Saturday 5:25 Byrd Stadium)

TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS

Sorry, but I’m gonna be distracted between now and the time Daddy cuts down the nets in Indianapolis….

TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TREPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS TERPS

(Editor’s note: Yes, I did spell Terps “Treps” once just to screw with your head. I’m a psychological genius like that.)

4-MLS Soccer: DC United vs. Los Angeles Galaxy (Saturday 7:30pm from RFK Stadium live on Fox Soccer Channel)

From the world of “I’m not really sure why any of these men would EVER wear shirts”, not only do I get a new Brad Pitt movie this week; but I ALSO get David Beckham in town????

becks

(Editor’s note: This blog usually features tons of pictures of hot chicks. So sue me. I’m reasonably both of these men are more deserving……)

3-MLL Championship Weekend: Denver Outlaws vs. Boston Cannons (Saturday noon live on ESPN2), Toronto Nationals vs. Long Island Lizards (Saturday 3pm live on ESPN360), Championship (Sunday 1pm live on ESPN2; all games from Navy-Marine Corps Stadium)

Is it bogus that Baltimore doesn’t have a pro lacrosse team? Yes.

Is it bogus to spend your weekend in Annapolis with screaming girls who love lacrosse? No.

That is all.

2-WWE Summerslam (Sunday 8pm from Los Angeles live on Pay-Per-View)

You say pro wrestling isn’t a sport. I say “I don’t care. Grown men beat each other with tables, ladders, and chairs.”

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqbS7GDHxBI[/youtube]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hMOoZ4z7zE[/youtube]

I’ll stop watching as soon as they start letting people in other sports do this. For example, this would really improve curling……

1-Jets @ Ravens (Monday 8pm from M&T Bank Stadium live on ESPN & WBAL11)

“Hey coach, that team on the other side of the field looks a lot like us………..”

rex
bart
jim
pettine

Welcome home, Rex. Enjoy your 34-0 beatdown.

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…..

-G

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