With all apologizes to David Letterman… here is my top ten EXPECTED injuries every Spring Training… and if you are surprised by any of these… let’s just say.. I want you in my league!
10. ALERT! ALERT! ALERT! Rocco Baldelli is not playing… again this Spring Training… I had to take the easy one first. By the way… speaking of Baldelli… has anyone disappointment you more in potential fantasy numbers each year than Baldelli?
9. Any pitcher over 40 who has had a surgery in the last three years or has a grandchild in the minor leagues. Think Randy Johnson and… my grandfather Jamie Moyer.
8. Any veteran player who doesn’t like to run anymore. Think Jeff Kent and Dimitri Young. If Kent had his way he would have a pinch runner each at bat and Young would have a pinch hitter so he could eat during each at bat.
7. All Denver Broncos… This is a known thing all ready.
6. HGH participants… easy one!
5. Pedro Martinez… If I ever have the chance to invite 5 of my favorite people in the world to dinner they would be… Pedro ( because he was the anti-Bambino curse and I think it would be interesting to hear what he went through during those years in Boston. Len Bias… so I could talk him out of it… Rickey Henderson… why not? Gary Williams and Roger Carr would be the last two).
4. The Evil Empire’s Feelings… again this Spring Training the moaning and crying from the Yankees is coming from both the inner office and the dugout office about teams this Spring Training. Get use to this folks… this is just the beginning…hahahahahahha ( evil empire laugh ).
3. Groin injuries… I’m sorry folks but if you don’t get the opportunity to stretch your groin during the season… I hope you stretch that groin ( wink ) all off season.. NO EXCUSES!!!
2. Burnt Toes… Rookie hazard… Rookie rule number one.. if you smell smoke.. it’s you dummy!!!
and the number one EXPECTED Spring Training injury…
J D DREW!!!!!!!!! Wait, wait, wait… I’m being told ( Image of me wearing a headset )… ok… maybe that BoSox fan that was drunk St. Patrick’s Day is right… so ladies and gentlemen the new number one expected Spring Training injury goes to…. Curt Schilling!!
Thank you very much.