Anyone but Him

March 01, 2010 | Paul Hoke

It really was exactly the kind of game you would hope a Gold Medal game would be. Fast paced, exciting, entertaining, and tension-filled, the Canadian’s 3-2, Gold medal clinching victory over the United States in sudden death overtime, is pretty much as exciting a championship game as you will see, in any sport. What you saw yesterday is why a lot of us are such big hockey fans. It really is the fastest sport on two feet.

And to be honest, I don’t even mind that the US came up short in their bid to win their first Gold medal in hockey since the “Miracle on Ice” team of 30 years ago. Team Canada deserved the win. After losing to the US earlier in the tournament, the Canadians downed Germany, dominated my odds-on favorite, Russia, and beat Slovakia to earn the right for the rematch with our boys from Team USA.

In the first period, they were faster. In the second, they were more sound fundamentally and created more chances that the US was lucky weren’t converted into goals. In the third, despite phenomenal net minding from Roberto Luongo, Zach Parise tied the game with 25 seconds to go. As I watched the game unfold, I got that old familiar feeling, as all Ravens fans are accustomed to, that even though the Canadians were the better team with more chances Sunday, the Americans might just pull off the upset….but it was not to be.

And this is where the story turns dark for me.

Despite watching a great hockey game. Despite seeing some of the best pure hockey I’ve seen in a long time. Despite not really caring, other then for the love of country, who won or who lost, in the end of course….I cared soon enough.

Why??? I will tell you. It’s because of the rat-fink, cherry picking, pretty boy who scored Canada’s game winner. I told my wife, seconds before the game winner went past Ryan Miller, after the US turned the puck over in the Canadian offensive zone…”anyone but him.” Three seconds later…it happened. Cindy Crosby became a national freakin’ hero. And once again, I uttered the words that as an ardent supporter of our Washington Capitals, I’ve uttered many, many times…”I hate Cindy Crosby.”

Isn’t it bad enough that I had to watch this clown skate around with Lord Stanley’s cup last June? Now I had to watch him score the Gold medal-clinching goal? What eternal Hockey God have I wronged.

Look, I’ve said for the longest time that while I respect any player good enough to play in the NHL, Crosby always has been a thorn in my side. He isn’t a pure hockey player. He’s soft, brittle, and fake. Almost like the Tom Brady of hockey. And of course, he plays in that city to our northwest. The city where nothing good goes into, or comes out of. I’m speaking of course, about Pittsburgh. Talk about salt in the wound. Come on…after that great of a game, did it have to be him?!? Was there no other player on the Canadian roster who could have scored that goal?? Of course, Jamie Langenbrunner could have prevented this whole ugly scenario had he scored on the American’s last shot prior to Cindy’s goal. He took a turnover in his offensive zone and fired a wrister at Luongo, only to have it turned aside and cleared to neutral ice. What happened next, I don’t need to rehash.

So, here I sit. Mulling over another hockey tournament in which my team was eliminated by a Cindy Crosby team, this time, by the Cream-puff himself. Doesn’t seem fair. Doesn’t seem right. My only hope is that once the Caps get their season going again, they can make amends, for me anyway.

Let’s Go Caps. I hope Cindy’s medal turns his neck green.

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