Aubrey Huff uncensored

November 12, 2007 | Nestor Aparicio

Here is the first of what will be many installments of Aubrey Huff’s exploits on the Bubba The Love Sponge’s nationally syndicated radio and internet webcast.

For the record, I have never been previously exposed to Bubba’s work. He seems like a jovial fellow who is hosting an extreme men’s room, complete with plenty of cursing, brutally frank sex talk and a “no holds barred and nothing censored” kind of format.

Again, I have no moral issue or religious code in regard to this show or any personal issue with Aubrey Huff.

I met him for 30 seconds last year at a press conference that I apparently crashed at The Warehouse. He seems liked a typical, ‘I’m here to collect my check’ kinda guy.

But, I always liked the way he hit the ball in Tampa. Apparently, he was a real clown there in the way he conducted himself. He came here this year and flopped. He was a stiff. An $8 million a year stiff!

But this is about all the Orioles can attract on the free agent market at this point. They get the losers no one else wants. The guys who are stupid enough to go on national radio shows with cameras and say all of the crazy stuff he said last Thursday.

Again, this is spicy stuff, so if you amongst the “morales” patrol, you’re not gonna like this, but at least you’ve been forewarned! We are IN NO WAY ENDORSING THIS BEHAVIOR or trying to be "shock" internet. Orioles fans deserve the truth: you will find it below in a graphic format.

On Thursday, Bubba had Aubrey Huff in studio talking some baseball – this apparently is where the “horseshit” quotes came in. We only have the audio clips of that, not the video clips. However, the cameras apparently started rolling for Huff’s continuing conversation with internet porn star Melissa Midwest, an all-natural beauty who was NOT unattractive.

She entered the studio and below is a direct transcript of the footage that we’ve obtained via the internet.

Huff: “Let’s talk to our lady friend…”

Bubba: “Now Aubrey, do you jack off a lot on the road, like when you’re not with your wife.”

Huff: “It’s all I do.  It’s all I do. You guys have no idea how much downtime there is in baseball. You wake up from a hangover about 1 o’clock.”

Producer shouts: “In the afternoon?”

Huff: “Oh, yeah!  Lemme tell you this. When you are hung over, how horny are you?  I’m horny, when I’m hungover, I’m horny. So I’m just gonna beat off. And that’s all I do.”

Bubba: “And do you have your own room or do you have a roommate.”

Huff: “No, I’ve got my own room. C’mon, I’m not gonna beat off in front of my own roommate. C’mon Bubba!”

Bubba: “What time is the team bus to get to the field, like 5?”

Huff: “Four o’clock.”

Bubba: “So for three hours you’re just jerking the fuck outta yourself.

Huff:  You know what they have now in the hotels is the (paas??) for $34.99, you get the whole section.”

Bubba: “Who does that get billed to, you or the Orioles?

Huff:  “No, that’s my own gig. When you check out and she (the hotel clerk) says, $34.99 and she looks at you as you’re checking out: ‘Ahh, you beat the shit outta it, didn’t ya?’ ‘Yeah, pretty much!  Yeah, I jacked the fucking shit outta it!’ ”

Bubba: “So they did the room and you do the incidentals.” 

Huff: “Yeah, incidentals are all us, which include porn. And jacking off.”

 Bubba: “… We’ve done a lot of major league baseball players’ interviews and I’ve never heard one this candid.  ‘I jacked the shit outta myself for three hours! What else is there to do?’ Not that ‘I’m studying the pitcher I’m going to go against.’

Producer: “So now I know the other ones are bullshitting us and Aubrey is telling the truth.”

Huff: “Exactly!”

Producer: “Do you guys do any studying or is there any of that going on? Or is the catcher the only one that’s really gotta study anything?

Huff: “The guys that are studying — it’s bullshit. See ball, hit ball. You know what I mean? You’ve done it your whole life. You see the ball, you hit it. All this studying? Honestly, you’re gonna look at a piece of, a TV? And say this guy, this guy is going to throw me this way? No, he might throw you a different way! Who cares? Just see it and hit it!

Comments on Facebook

Leave a Reply