Best Blog of the Day… unless you read most other blogs.

March 24, 2011 |

I’m going to cut right to the chase; I’m not your run of the mill blogger, mostly, because I hate blogs.

Deep down, I believe that people who blog, are tools. Deep down, I’m also, a hypocritical prick.

In my defense the whole blog thing wasn’t really my idea; honestly my philosophy has always been that if I’m not an interesting enough person to get even my best Facebook quips one measly like, than I really should not be pursuing a future in writing for others, but I’m here, so lets get this show on the road, and this show is what I like to call “El Queso Hermano” which to the best of my understanding is French or something for “The Random Sports and Whatnot Blog.”

First a quick knowhow about myself, my name is Blank Blankerson, I’m the every man. I represent the average American, and in some respect the average Canadian, and in terms of paleness, the average Swede. I’m of a doughy physique, I’m dreadful at math, and I spend more of my time watching men the size of small island nations assault men the size of large island nations in rings shaped like stop signs than I do with many members of my family. So I’m just your average Joe… who also has a blog…which in this day in age… means I’m just your average Joe.

(If this were an open-mic I’d be bombing right now)

Ok, I can tell your getting antsy. Like a diabetic just out of arms reach of his insulin, you need sports, and you need it now. So like a famous Italian plumber used to say: “Here We Go!”

1. The XFL has more signs of life than my college hoops bracket. In fact, calling it a bracket is a gross overstatement, I think the term monstrosity and under-world horror are much more fitting. With such genius picks like Wofford, Gonzaga, Texas, and Notre Dame filling my bracket, its amazing ESPN still lets me log on.

2. Apparently Derrick Rose is poised to win the NBA MVP this season, and since he doesn’t market a pair of sweet kicks like  other awesome NBA players do, then I could truly care less. Honestly, if you live in Baltimore and you seriously care about NBA basketball, then your life is officially more depressing then mine, and I spent my last weekend watching a Cops marathon, a Cops marathon, mind you, filled with episodes I had already seen several times. So congratulations, you’ve earned it.

3. In local sports, Buck Showalter apparently made a lot of moronic, loud-mouth comments about people who have been abundantly more successful than himself, and I think I speak for all annoying, pun loving jerks who constantly inundate your twitter wall with there awful contributions when I say: “Hey Showalter, shut the Buck up!”

That’s it. I’m out. Keep it short and sweet. Think of it like the exact opposite of every rap song in the last 7 years. I hope you enjoyed it, I know you didn’t, but whatever, you just wasted several minutes reading this, while I rake in lots of Ad revenue. What’s that? I don’t see a penny of any of my blog contributions? You plan on replacing me immediately and erasing any memory of my past contributions the moment I stop providing pro-bono work? Well in that case WNST can ki-AT WNST WE NEVER STOP TWEETING BALTIMORE SPORTS!! IF YOU LOVE BALTIMORE SPORTS, YOU’LL LOVE WNST.NET!