Blogging about local sports is a tough gig right now. How many times can we ask for Perlozzo’s head on a platter or talk about woeful relief pitching and anemic hitting?
The Ravens are off for awhile. Lacrosse is done. I think the College World Series is going on but as far as I know there’s not a local team involved. So maybe it’s time to turn this thing over to you the reader. What do you want to talk about? Go ahead. Anything. You got gardening tips? Andrew and I will post them. The perfect way to barbecue a steak? Fine. Send it along. How’s your softball team doing? I don’t care. I’ll do anything to find a topic.
Anything except talk about NASCAR. And, again, so we’re all on the same page, it’s not because I don’t like NASCAR. I do. I watch it. I read about it. I’m just not enough of an authority to report on it.
Golf? Uh-uh. I’m so bad at playing golf I’m banned from writing about it or even discussing it in a bar.
WNBA? Next, please.
Are there any archery leagues I can write about? I was pretty damn good with a bow and arrow when I was at Camp Airy 30 years ago.
So, okay, what to talk about?
(long pause while Marc thinks)
More specifically, margaritas. To me, there’s nothing better in the summer time than some Jimmy Buffet magic fuel. Whoever invented the margarita should get a Nobel Prize.
I know everyone thinks they make the best margarita. Well, hate to tell you this but none of you do. Why? Because I make the perfect margarita.
The key to a well made margarita is to avoid the "golden" trap. Golden margaritas are a cheap restaurant up-sell designed to pull money from your wallet. They don’t taste as good as the basic margarita. It sounds like it should. I mean, after all, they use words like "golden" and "Top Shelf". It doesn’t. Trust me.
Cointreau? Grand Marnier? Uh-uh. Avoid it at all cost. That stuff is too sweet and heavy and kills the tequila/sour mix marriage the way Angelina Jolie killed it for Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt. It seems sexier but it isn’t. Stick to Triple Sec.
As for the tequila itself, you definitely want to stay away from the stuff that can also be used to clean out your car’s engine but don’t feel you have to use the Patron or the Sauza Commemorativo. Basic cuervo is fine. For my money, it’s preferred.
And always be discerning about your sour mix. Preferably one with a little hint of orange. Don’t go too heavy on the lime taste in your sour mix because the secret to a truly amazing margarita is…
drum roll, please…
… lots of fresh lime.
People kill their margaritas by loading up on the sour mix. This is a critical mistake. Squeeze as many limes into the glass or pitcher as you can find. I’m telling ya. Here’s the recipe:
1. Throw some ice into a glass.
2. Pour tequila about a third of the way. Even a little heavier because the ice is going to water it all down a bit.
3. Do NOT fill the rest with sour mix! About a third is plenty.
4. Triple Sec. NO GRAND MARNIER OR COINTREAU! Give it a two pour. In other words, count to two while pouring.
5. SQUEEZE IN FRESH LIME. Not lime Juice. LIMES. A six ounce rocks glass can withstand as many as four or five wedges worth.
6. Shake it up and dump the mixture into some other container.
7. Moisten glass rim with lime then salt with KOSHER SALT. Never use regular table salt. You need it to be coarse otherwise it’s worthless.
8. Dump the contents back into the glass. If the ice has melted a bit add another cube or two.
Sit back, turn on some Jimmy Buffet (I recommend Son of a Son of a Sailor) and enjoy.
Hey you know what? If you drink enough margaritas, you might even be able to handle an Orioles game.
Thoughts? Comments? email us at firstname.lastname@example.org
Check out Marc’s comedy at www.myspace.com/marcunger
DEFINITELY RATED R!!