Building a bridge to Hawaii

August 31, 2009 | Drew Forrester

A husband and wife are sitting on a beach in Hawaii and a bottle washes up on shore.

The wife looks at her husband and says, “Are you going to open it?  There might be a genie inside.”

The husband says, “Yeah, right…”

Curious, he goes ahead and opens the bottle and much to his shock – and delight – a beautiful genie appears on the beach.

“I am forever indebted to you,” she says.  “I haven’t been out of my bottle in 21 years.  Because you’ve done me this great favor, I will now grant you ANY wish you want.  Anything.  Anything at all.”

The husband looks at his wife.  She looks at him and shrugs.  “Ask for whatever you want, sweetie.”

He explains to the genie:  “My wife and I live in San Diego and own property here in Hawaii.   We’re both deathly afraid of flying — but two times a year, we get on a plane and fly here to experience the wonderful offerings of this great island.  I guess if I could have you do anything, I’d have you build a bridge from San Diego to Hawaii — and that way, all of the Southern Californians who are afraid of flying, like my wife and I, could drive to Hawaii and not have to worry about getting on a plane and being a nervous wreck.”

The genie sat down in the sand next to the couple.  “I can’t believe it,” the genie said.  “I’ve been granting wishes for 10,000 years and this is the first time EVER that I’m going to have to say to someone — ‘I’m sorry, I can’t do that for you.’ — and it just breaks my heart to do that.”

“Why can’t you build a bridge?” the man asked.

The genie explains:  “Because it would require too much labor.  Too much engineering.  Far, far too many materials.  And, honestly, I don’t think I have the genie-expertise required to get all of that together and build you that bridge.  I just can’t do it. It’s the first time in my life I’ve ever said to someone that what you’re asking of me is simply IMPOSSIBLE for me to do.”

The husband said, “Well, thanks anyway.”

The genie responded, “Oh, but you MUST come up with another wish.  I will not leave this beach until I’ve granted you a wish.” She let out a soft genie chuckle and said, “Just make it a tad easier than building that bridge from San Diego to Hawaii.”

The husband says, “OK, then…my wife and I are originally from Baltimore and our favorite baseball team, the Orioles, has really fallen on hard times the last twelve years or so.  Would you please see to it that they get the best players they can, spend money on quality free agents this winter and get back into contention in the American League East in 2010?”

The genie then says:  “That bridge you want me to want two lanes?  Or four lanes?”