Davey Johnson: C’MON DOWN!!!!!!!

June 20, 2007 | Nestor Aparicio

He CAN’T be serious. This has to be old "Dumb Dumb," just yanking Jeff Zrebiec’s chain over on Calvert Street.

The Sun is reporting that DAVEY JOHNSON has "interest" in the Orioles managerial job!

Man, just when you think you finished off the final pizza during this sick Greek tragedy, you find out you need another bag of popcorn stuffed into the microwave because it’s gonna be a LOONNNG serial.

I swear, sometimes I picture Angelos sitting up on his perch, orchestrating some twisted, sick version of "Wag The Dog" as this drama unfolds year after year. Or maybe "Devil’s Advocate" at least…

Screw The Sopranos! Just following the Orioles these days (and especially being a "Young, old timer" like me) cries out to wanna know WHAT you hear AFTER "Don’t Stop Believin‘" ends…

Or right after J.R. got shot in Dallas…

Or when The Fonz jumped the shark…

Or right around the time DAVEY last got shot down during the Great Fall War of 1997!

Oh, it was a TWO bagger night for popcorn, the last go ’round for Davey vs. Peter!

The nasty faxes back and forth that made their way into the media’s hands by the end of the afternoon…The Roberto Alomar incident…Davey’s wife…charities…Bad loss to the Tribe…Armando Benitez…Angelos’ meddling and ultamtums…etc…

Hell it was SO LONG AGO, I’ve almost forgotten all of the details, like I did the fights I had with my girlfriend that summer,
ya know?

And, now on the eve of the Orioles screwing up their LATEST managerial hiring — I DON’T THINK THERE ARE LETTERS BIG ENOUGH HERE — BUT ISN’T THE ENTIRE PROCESS OVER THE LAST 48 HOURS ENOUGH TO REALIZE WHAT BONEHEADS THESE PEOPLE ARE??? THE STUPID, INANE WAY THEY RUN THEIR BUSINESS?"

They hire a COO, who they don’t introduce, but then send out to find a manager, all while the team twists in San Diego and they haven’t thrown a PITCH in 48 hours.

Obviously, if they had their act together over there (like, say, the Ravens), they would have:

1. Identified that they were going to replace Sam Perlozzo.
2. Identified that Joe Foss needed to be replaced when he pretty much quit after the holidays (even the Angelos’ tried to keep it quiet while he "faded away" to Erickson Retirement).
3. Hired said C.O.O. BEFORE the season started…like any normal business!
4. And, once Perlozzo got into "trouble" after the Fenway fiasco, started digging anonymously through Flanagan and Duquette and their reservoir of information for an appropriate candidate (if you, in fact, WANTED to go outside the organization). Buck Martinez? Joe Girardi? Don Baylor? Davey Johnson? Bobby Valentine? Hell, Earl Weaver for all I know!
5. Had THAT GUY…whoever he is…ALREADY HIRED when you FIRED Sam Perlozzo, which should have been done over a quiet dinner at 8 p.m. on Sunday night between he and Angelos/Flanagan somewhere in Hunt Valley.
6. Scheduled a "traditional" press conference for all concerned — led by the owner and the team president/C.O.O., "new" manager and a couple of "stand up" players to show support for the decision.
7. Instituted "foundational" changes in the processes and the way the Orioles will conduct business being led forward by Cal Ripken…

(SPLASH COLD WATER!!!)

OK, OK…I’m dreaming…

But I kinda want this one to end like the last "Newhart" series with us back in bed with our old wife — the old reliable Suzanne Pleshette that gave us so many happy years in the 1970′s.

Bring back John Lowenstein. Make Brooks Robinson a part of EVERYTHING the team does. Put Baltimore on the road jerseys. Treat the fans with some dignity by running a transparent organization. Support the little leagues in Maryland. Make players VERY available to kids, the community, social clubs and make them WANT to be a part of our community because Baltimore is a special place.

 Cal Ripken would run the show…and it would his to screw up or fix up, depending on who he would surround himself with through the years. But, at least we know one thing: if Cal owned the team, he’d be on the podium introducing a new manager who would actually SHOW UP for the press conference and Cal would give people the confidence to come back to the Orioles brand and the Orioles product.

Cue: "Something magic happens, every time you go…"

If Charley Eckman were alive — and he heard tonight, like I did via The Sun, that Davey Johnson is interested, I know EXACTLY what he’d say:

"Hey Leader I ain’t got NOOOO idea how dis’ thing is gonna end, but it’s better than da’ movies!"

I just have no idea where it’s all going to end…

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