Get you’re Preak On? No thanks!

May 12, 2010 | Tom Clayton

Wow, I know things are rough for the entire sport of horse racing but has it really come to this?

A bunch of radio ads that are basically pornography; seriously these are like commercials written by contributors of Penthouse Forum, but with horses….although I would bet some stories from Penthouse Forum had horses in them. I can not see how having a woman with a sexy voice saying how she is going to get her Preak on with her professor all day long would make anyone think, “You know I need to go watch a day of horse racing”.

Then just as I thought this ad campaign couldn’t get any worse I hear the most smug, condescending advertisement I have ever heard in my life.

Let me setup the commercial for you:

Some goofball gets on the microphone and says, “Still mad about the changes in the infield? Well let’s do the math genius”. So because over 30,000 people were upset about the idiotic business practices of a dying sport I am now being called a moron? Let me tell you something, this ad’s first line is already getting me hyped up about going to a marginally interesting event that I have nothing invested in!

So goofball continues, “Want something heavy to carry in…how about lugging in your old lady?” Oh so now you are making fun of my significant other’s looks in an attempt to get me to go to A HORSE RACE! Man these ad wizards have me whipping out my credit card to purchase a ticket, I mean in just 10 seconds you have attacked my intelligence and the physical appearance of my wife.

And then the ad end with goofball saying “You’re Welcome”, in the smuggest tone I have ever heard. You know I am welcome, goofball you have really opened up my eyes and I now see that I am a moron with an ugly wife.

Maybe more advertisers should take this approach when trying to get people to buy their product.

“Hey idiot, you are upset that Toyota has made a car that doesn’t have the ability to decelerate? Maybe if you’re fat, ugly wife wasn’t eating Doritos in the front seat you could prevent this vehicle from careening into a jersey wall. You’re Welcome!”

I mean maybe they could just tell people all of the events they are having and maybe lay off of the insults when trying to sell me something. The Preakness is something that I have very little interest in but I understand a lot of people really cherish the event and it brings a lot of money to a struggling economy. So maybe just maybe a little more humility and fun in your advertising would be appreciated.

This whole get you’re Preak on campaign is Pucking Fissing me off!

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