Giants vs. Patriots- First Thoughts

January 22, 2008 |

It took me a day or so to come back to Earth following the Giants win over the Packers.  Now here are some VERY EARLY thoughts on Super Bowl XLII

– The Giants pass rushers will drop Tom Brady 3 or more times.

– Tom Brady will throw for 3 or more touchdowns.

– Tiki Barber wishes he was dead.

– Tom Petty is performing for the half-time show.  If I have a choice  between seeing him flash a nipple or hearing him play “Free Falling”,   I’d rather see his nipple.

– Brandon Jacobs and Richard Seymour will come close to a fist fight.

– The best commercial will be for a product I don’t use or care about.

– Joe Buck will not fail to annoy me.

– There will be well over 30 camera shots of the Manning family and I  will want to vomit each and every time.

– What would you rather do, play in the Super Bowl or play with Jessica Simpson?  Only Tony Romo knows for sure.

– Did you know this is Randy Moss’ first Super Bowl?  He’ll be a much  bigger factor in this one than he was in the Pats first two playoff games… Provided he doesn’t implode and end up in jail.

– Laurence Maroney will not be a factor OR end up in jail.

– Tynes is a more reliable kicker than Gostkowski.

– Terry Bradshaw is funnier than Frank Caliendo!

– Tom Coughlin and Bill Belichick BOTH coached for the Giants when they  won the ’90 Super Bowl.

– When the Giants beat Denver in 1986, I cried.  The only time  I’ve cried over a sporting event that I didn’t play in.

– Michael Strahan has been in the NFL as long as I’ve been a comedian.

– If the city of Boston wins the World Series, the Super Bowl AND the NBA Finals, I’ll never eat clam chowder again.
– I REALLY HATE Aubrey Huff (have no idea why that thought just popped in my head).

– Anyone know who’s singing the National Anthem?  Anyone care?

– I hope Tom Brady breaks his leg in the first quarter.

– The Giants have done more with their ’07 draft picks (Aaron Ross, Steve Smith, Jay Alford, Zak DeOssie, Adam Koets, Kevin Boss, Michael  Johnson     and Ahmad Bradshaw) than any team the league.  Maybe any team ever.     That’s one of the major reasons they’re in the Super Bowl.

– When we were kids, our mother used to serve Andrew and I “pigs in a     blanket” during the SUper Bowl. 

– I won’t watch any of the new television shows sure to be “hyped”  during the game.

– Hey, wait a second, with the writer’s strike, maybe they won’t have any new tv shows to hype in the first place.  How great would that be?

– More of the country wants the Giants to win than the Patriots.

– Troy Aikman will be secretly rooting for the Giants. 

– Plaxico Burress is 7 inches taller than the tallest Patriots cornerback… Hmmm.

– The Patriots have the edge at quarterback, offensive line and           secondary… Well, except during these playoffs. 

– If the Patriots win, the MVP will be Tom Brady.  If the Giants win, it’ll be Ahmad Bradshaw for racking up monster yards in the second half.

– This game will be considered one of the FIVE BEST Super Bowls of all time.  In other words, the commercials won’t be the highlight of the day.