Hey, Rock …. Is That You?

September 29, 2007 |

Your attention, please …. if someone sees the REAL “Rock,” will you let me know? Or, is this the real, NATURAL version we see before our very eyes in Disney’s “The Gameplan?”

I had to look twice …. I thought it was the same guy who played Gilligan – with a slightly buffer physique. This is unbelievable …. it can’t be the very figure that roamed arenas throughout the U.S., while admonishing the trailer-park faithful to “know their roles.”

What happened Rock? Did you and Jay Gibbons both join Valerie Bertinelli as the newest role models for Jenny Craig? Hey, I see no other plausible excuse for such a rapid loss in body composition, except ….

Yeah, I guess pro wrestling’s “dirty little secret” is carrying well beyond the obituaries of Chris Benoit, Curt Hennig and Rick Rude. Let’s face it, it’s blatantly obvious Dwayne (The Rock) Johnson is substantially lighter in overall body composition and weight, than in his prime wrestling days.

I’m not talking a couple inches off the waist, either. Look at his arms … shoulders … neck …. and everything else. It’s hard to believe this is the same guy. I suppose transcending from the life of pro wrestler to Hollywood icon dictates a change in lifestyle and “nutritional supplementation.” Wow …. that’s a nice way of saying it, huh ????

Hey, we all know what “The Rock” AIN’T COOKIN’ …. right? At least, not these days. I know, I know …. here comes the barrage of emails regarding Dwayne’s stellar reputation when it comes to any direct connection to the “S” word. Let’s be honest …. this drug testing policy mandated by the WWE is about as legitimate as the script of its events.

I’d dare say a star wrestler could submit a specimen as lethal as gasoline, and he’s still climbing in the squared circle. The idea that Vince McMahon enforces anything legitimate is comical. Come on …. he’s Vince McMahon, the very image emblazoned on the “Snake Oil Salesman” Hall Of Fame.

I’ll say this …. I find “The Rock” to be a very engaging and charismatic actor. He’s a very funny guy and quite personable. But, come on. Take a look at his stature about five years ago in some wrestling trunks and compare it to the guy seen in the football uniform on “The Gameplan” posters. It’s hilarious.

I’ll go out on a limb and say Dwayne is doing things differently these days …. and just leave it at that.

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