How Baltimore Buzzed: Week Ending 7/24

July 24, 2009 | Glenn Clark

Welcome to my new attempt to start spats weekly Friday blog; which I will call “How Baltimore Buzzed.” It is a very original, very clever name that I should probably take all of the credit for; as I singlehandedly came up with the term “Buzz” and figured out that alliteration is a key concept in a title.

This is a very simple concept. As someone who sidekicks a morning show, screens phone calls, compiles a “link dump” blog, listens to HOURS of sports talk radio, and is particularly active on Facebook (and somewhat active on Twitter); I have a unique perspective with which to capture what the city of Baltimore is talking about during a particular 5 day span.

This will be a compilation of local and national stories or storylines that have particularly touched off a nerve here in Baltimore amongst radio hosts, callers, bloggers, commenters, social networking participants, columnists, TV anchors, beat writers, and those of you who still stand around the “water cooler.” I do not have a statistical formula like ESPN’s “Blog Buzz”; this is just the statistical formula of my own brain. Insert your own joke here.

If you disagree, that just means you’re breathing.

15. That was it???

Buzz: The leaked video of Xavier’s Jordan Crawford dunking on LeBron James was particularly disappointing.

Wacky shtick: Sadly, my girlfriend thought the same thing the first time we made a video. (ZING!!!!!!!!! I’m so off to such a great start! You want great comedy? Stay right here, friend!)

14. Are we totally certainly Stewart Cink’s FAMILY was rooting for Stewart Cink?

Buzz: Tom Watson almost won the British Open, and EVERYONE in town called in Monday to say they were rooting for him.

Wacky shtick: I was actually able to track down a picture of Tom Watson’s Christmas tree last year…..

watson

13. Yeah, well we’d like you to be good ALL season

Buzz: Willis McGahee used an appearance at a Boost Mobile store downtown to say that he expects Ray Rice to be the starter going into Training Camp; but thinks the way he finishes the season is more important than the way he starts it.

Wacky Shtick: After the way his last season ended, maybe Willis should just be hopeful that he DOES finish it…..

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGRFqOipcTg[/youtube]

12. Do we still have to talk about this guy?

Buzz: Brett Favre may or may not make a decision on whether or not he’ll return to the Vikings by a Friday deadline he may or may not have imposed.

Wacky shtick: Somewhere right now, a retired John Madden wants you to know that this is the most important decision in the history of humanity.

11. So, do you fly from Norfolk to Baltimore….or what?

Buzz: With the continued struggles of Rich Hill and Jason Berken, speculation (and hope) abounds that Chris Tillman will be called up from Norfolk next week to start against the Royals.

Wacky shtick: Attention new pitching messiah: please start performing quicker than our catching messiah. Thank you.

10. Soccer rocks…..or sucks

Buzz: Chelsea battles AC Milan tonight at M&T Bank Stadium in the stadium’s first ever major soccer event. Everyone in the city is either going to the match, or seems to think soccer is stupid.

Wacky shtick: Say what you want about soccer, but can we all agree that this event is worthless without streaking?

streaker

9. Back in Vick

Buzz: Michael Vick released from home confinement, expected to be reinstated after likely 4 game suspension to start season. He also may or may not have visited a strip club with Allen Iverson.

Wacky shtick: Do you think there’s any chance Iverson could get him a job with the Clippers? You know they’ve got nothing to lose….

8. What the hell do I do with the rest of my weekend?

Buzz: The NFL will move the first round of the Draft to Thusrday night next year, with Rounds 2 and 3 scheduled for Friday night, and Rounds 4-7 now Saturday.

Wacky Shtick: Thursday night? Don’t know if that’s going to work. I already have plans……

porn

7. Isn’t there supposed to be a “Y”?

Buzz: Andy MacPhail swapped outstanding pinch hitter Oscar Salazar for Padres reliever Cla Meredith. Meredith has been described by Orioles broadcasters as having a “unique delivery”, and MacPhail called him “a poor man’s Chad Bradford.”

Wacky shtick: “A Poor Man’s Chad Bradford?” Really? Was “a poor man’s Todd Frowirth” not available???

6. Flacc and His Arm Make a Video

Buzz: NFL.com posted a Reebok “Fantasy Files” video of Joe Flacco throwing footballs and skeet shooting targets. I’ve already posted the video, but I appreciate the fact that some times there are still those of us who live under rocks…..

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4q0LXFJpD30[/youtube]

Wacky Shtick: There is a legitimate argument that people in Baltimore are more aroused by this video than the other video everyone has been talking about. I know I am.

5. Sarasota Here We Come

Buzz: The Orioles have finally escaped from their Ft. Lauderdale Spring Training nightmare, signing a new deal to move to Sarasota.

Wacky shtick: Sadly, the team playing in Sarasota will still be the Orioles. Also, Ft. Lauderdale is hoping to replace the Birds with a team of similar caliber; but the Bengals apparently don’t play baseball.

4. The Saga of a Sideline Princess

andrews

Buzz: Last week’s leaked peep hole video of ESPN reporter Erin Andrews continued to cause quite a stir. The New York Post printed still pictures from the video, causing ESPN to ban Post reporters from being part of their programming.

Wacky shtick: I’ll be the first to admit that posting the Post’s frontpage was nothing more than an attempt at generating page views. It was either that or shirtless pictures of Ray Bachman.

Everything about this story is just terrible. Do you know how much it costs to get a camera that can film through a peep hole? And do you realize how difficult it is to stalk someone for so long to be able to pull this off? I mean, how the hell am I supposed to know where Anna Kournikova is tonight?

3. Bad Ben?

Buzz: Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger was accused in a civil suit of sexual assault in Nevada, stemming from an incident in 2008.

Wacky shtick: I don’t believe this. There is absolutely ZERO chance any young lady could say no to THIS handsome devil…..

ben

Also, I’m with you Ravens fans. If there’s any possible way this story can lead to Charlie Batch having to play for the Steelers; this is a great story. (Is that insensitive? Which way to the HR department?)

2. Are They Still Trying?

Buzz: Orioles looked downright lifeless as they were swept in New York. Adam Jones, Brian Roberts, Aubrey Huff all appeared at points during the series as though they might not have been giving the most spirited of efforts.

Wacky shtick: Trying? TRYING? There’s no trying in bad baseball! My father and I attended 20 games last year, and we didn’t witness a SINGLE strong effort from any player on the entire roster. There’s no trying in bad baseball!

1. The Derrick Mason Chronicles: Hunt For a 5th Receiver

Buzz: John Harbaugh met with Derrick Mason, says he’s ‘hopeful’ WR will return. In the meantime, Ravens brought in Drew Bennett, DJ Hackett, and maybe even Joe Horn to try to find some wideout help-signing Bennett after a tryout.

Wacky shtick: I knew a girl in middle school named Sarah. Growing up, Sarah was always the pretty girl we hung around; and we all stole some kisses with Sara. Unfortunately, Sara got a bit stuck up, and some new pretty girls came to town. Girls named Amelia, and Jennifer, and even Emily. We all kinda stopped paying attention to Sarah, and she was none too happy about it. But soon enough, Amelia, Jennifer, and Emily all found older, more interesting boys to hang around; and we suddenly couldn’t help but think about how pretty Sarah was looking those days.

Drew Bennett looked really pretty when he played in Tennessee. But after a year in St. Louis, Bennett didn’t quite look so pretty. However, with a WR possibly running away from Baltimore; you gotta admit, Drew Bennett is looking awfully good…….

bennett


-G

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