I hate you, Brandon Marhsall.

September 09, 2009 |

I want to offer a little advice to anyone who accidentally clicked on this:  STOP TALKING ABOUT BRANDON MARSHALL.  Don’t call a sports talk show and tell some bimbo that the Ravens do/do not need this guy to win a game in the NFL.  Stop cluttering up Ravens message boards comparing the Ravens receivers to this guy.  Stop telling your friends, who probably can’t stand your opinions on football, that he was found innocent.  Or the team CAN fit him in the cap with Ngata and the other contracts that are coming due.  Don’t go off about how Ozzie constantly screws up this team by being pitifully inept finding offensive talent.

Just stop.  It’s not happening.  Say it with me….”HE ISN’T COMING TO BALTIMORE”.  What does a Brandon Marshall trade and Michael Jackson have in common?  They are both dead.

Look, anyone with a golf ball sized brain knows he is a young, talented, man-child.  I don’t care, and neither should you.   Here are but a few reasons why:

1.  The Ravens can’t fit him.  Do you want Ngata or Marshall?  You can’t have both.  I can hear it now…”They can restructure deals?”  Remember the salary cap purge a couple years after the superbowl win? That, imterwebs friends, is the long term ramifications of adding 10 mil a year on this guy. “Don’t you read?  There wont BE a salary cap!”.  Hi Jerrah Jones, nice try.  There’s about as much chance of that as you keeping your grubby hands off roster decisions.

2.  He’s a thug.  I said it.  He beats women.  You like that kind of stuff?  You don’t care?  I do, and so does Harbaugh, and so does Ozzie, and two of those 3 opinions count.  You don’t have enough fingers to count how many times this idiot has been arrested.  Yes, character matters.

3.  Anita Marks wants him here.  No further comment necessary.

4.  He drops passes.  Did you love Travis Taylor? 12 drops last year.  You want Braylon Edwards, too?

5.  He’s hurt, alot.  ’06, tore his PCL. ’07, Groin and Quadriceps. ’08, right arm (in one of those “incidents”).  ’09, Hip injury that is still bothering him.  He doesn’t condition well in the off season, maybe because he’s too busy beating women.

Look, we all liked watching the Air Coreal (if you were alive then) Chargers throw all over the place and score a bajillion points.  It’s fun to watch.  P.S., they NEVER WON A TITLE.  This guy is not what puts the Ravens over the top.  Line play, run game, and health is.  Remember that.

CJ is on twitter, not that you care. http://twitter.com/CJ_Johnson_