Is Your Radio Making Funny Noises?

June 03, 2008 |

I listened to the Baltimore Oriole broadcasts on the radio for the past four days in the back yard on these cool looking rock speakers that my kids gave to me last Father’s Day. They must be defective because I heard lots of strange things coming out of them… 
  • I heard loud and long cheers for everything that the baseball team from Boston would do, even though Boston was the visiting team.
  • I heard a voice that sounded like long time Baltimore sports announcer Tom Davis saying that all the Boston fans coming to watch the Orioles is great for the city of Baltimore, (as if it’s a good thing that OPACY becomes Fenway Park South). Wouldn’t it be better for the city of Baltimore, as well as the Baltimore baseball team, as well as the people of Baltimore, if lots of Baltimore Oriole fans came to the games all the time, you know, like they used to? 
  • I heard a voice that sounded like Middle River’s own Dave Johnson, who said that since so many Boston fans cannot get tickets at Fenway Park, they come down here so that they can see their Red Sox play. Isn’t it really because the Oriole fans from Baltimore aren’t coming to the games anymore, so there are plenty of tickets available for the Red Sox Nation to come here?
  • I heard after coming back from a commercial break, more often than not, the first pitch has already happened, and sometimes, the first batter has already completed his at-bat.
  • I heard voices that sounded like Joe Angel and Fred Manfra, who must have had a bet as to how many times they could say home plate umpire Bob Davidson’s name during Saturday night’s broadcast. Or maybe Bob Davidson Ford is paying the flagship $50 for each time Bob Davidson is said during the game. I’ve never heard an umpire’s name splattered over the airwaves so many times on a radio broadcast.    
  • I heard those same Joe Angel and Fred Manfra voices calling Boston players by their first names, as if they were announcing for the Red Sox Nation Radio Network. 
Heard a wild rumor out of Nashville – Kevin Millar is composing a follow-up single from his “cover” of Orioles Magic – a tear-jerker ballad this time – “I Played Four Away Games At Home”. 
Does anyone know someone who can fix my cool rock speakers?  Something has to be wrong - all of these wacky sounds cannot be right.