I was all set to write another tearful diatribe about the Orioles hitting “rock bottom,” but, really, what’s the point? Last night certainly seemed to be a nadir. While the Nationals’ hot young prospect struck out 14 batters in his MLB debut, the Orioles “ace” served softballs to the Yankees in a half empty stadium full of Sopranos extras.
But with this team, every time you think you’ve hit bottom, the floor caves in once again, so who know how much worse it will get? While I sat in my humble abode stewing about my unfortunate and apparently incurable case of Orioles fandom, I realized something. Sure, the fans are suffering. But you know who must be really hurting right now? The Orioles marketing department.
They have one of those, right?
From a peak of 3.5 million visitors a year to last year’s dismal 1.9 million total, Camden Yards, once a rollicking stadium experience, is now a cavernous house of horrors. This season may be even worse, as the club tanked literally on the first day of the season and borders on record-setting futility.
It will be hard to win over fans with a catchy slogan, but “This is Birdlind” is woefully inept, and let’s face it, easily mockable.
To help the Orioles do the impossible, attract fans to Camden Yards this summer, I thought I’d offer a few possible slogans. Some I made up, others are credited to my wonderful, creative facebook friends. Have any slogans of your own? Feel free to chime in. They’re going to need all the help they can get in Birdland these next four months..
Possible Summer 2010 Slogans for the Baltimore Orioles
“Orioles Baseball: AAA Team, Major League Park”
“Camden Yards: $8 Tickets, $15 Crab Cake. That’s About Right”
“Orioles Baseball: Because The Nats Are Out Of Town”
“Camden Yards: Hey, It’s Sunny Out (Sometimes)”
“Orioles Baseball: Suffer Together”
“Camden Yards: An Authentic New York Experience” (credit P. Sabatini)
“Camden Yards: Because Fenway Is Too Expensive” (credit M. Olszewski)
“Orioles Baseball: Get To Know The Other 29!” (credit M. McColloch)
“Orioles Baseball: Summer Movies Are Overrated”
“Orioles Baseball: Got Tragic?”
“Camden Yards: The Lines Won’t Be Long”
Feel free to play along at home.