Manchester United vs. Liverpool

March 13, 2009 |

Tomorrow morning Manchester United and Liverpool meet. In anticipation of this clash Darren Rudham(Liverpool Fan) and I (Man Utd Fan) have come up with lists of why we hate the other team. Here are the lists:

Oh how do I hate Man U. Let me count the ways:

1. Sir Alex Ferguson. Investigated for allegations of rape on a South African tour in 2002. And foul breath. No excuse for either.
2. Wayne Rooney. Evertonian playing for the Mancs. Actually that puts him ahead of Paris Hilton on my most-hated person list.
3. The 95 minute rule. If Man U is down a goal towards the end of regulation, no matter how much actual stoppage happened during the game, they get 5 minutes of extra time to tie it. And usually do.
4. The 90 minute rule. (See the 95 minute rule except the Mancs are now UP a goal)
5. They have our trophy. Actually all our trophies.
6. Their crest is centered around a devil. I simply cannot get down with Satan worshippers.
7. Ex-players ruining premiership teams as Managers. Ince, Hughes, Keane, Bruce. There’ll be more.
8. Dimitar Berbatov. Greedy. Greasy
9. Christiano Ronaldo. See above.
10. Darren Fletcher. Using my name in vain.
11. Ryan Giggs. Actually, he’s probably up there with one of my most-respected players. He’s been with the same team his entire career and has remained a class-act with a silky touch. Nothing like Rio Ferdinand.
12. Rio Ferdinand. After joining the Mancs from Leeds, and subsequently winning the League, he was heard chanting: “We won or trophy back, we won our trophy back.” Yours Rio? Yours? I’m surprised you had time to do anything while counting the gobs of cash you got in the transfer you greedy bastard!
13. Hypocrisy. Yes a big word. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. SAF complains about his boys not getting enough protection but says nothing of the muggings his central defenders get away with. And they call us thieves….
14. Faux fans. They generally tend to be Yankee and Laker fans too. They show up to Liverpool, Chelsea and Arsenal games covered from head to toe in official gear and incur the bartender’s ire within 3 minutes. Immediately when they yell out “Waaazzzzzzzzzaaaa!!” when Rooney kicks off.
15. Scouser. The term was originally a Mancunian term used to describe them after a downfall in their fortunes. So to call Liverpudlians Scousers is effectively using the “we’re rubber you’re glue defense.” Well done. Genius. The only thing they’ve ever been first at, they gave away.
16. Quintuple. If they win this, we’ll never hear the end of it. Ever.
17. AIG. Reads IOU. Of course they would be sponsored by a company that needs to be bailed out.
18. And lastly, they are only one of three teams in the league that have swear words in their name: Arsenal, Scunthorpe and Manchester F*@#ing United!

Here is my list:

Reasons I hate Liverpool

1. “You’ll Never Walk Alone”- I would rather listen to Britney Spears than hear this song
2. The Owners- When I hear the words Hicks and Gillete again it will be to soon. Either sell the team or don’t but stop talking about it.
3. Rafa Benitez – He wants to be Sir Alex so bad. Why else would he keep calling him out?
4. “Stevie G”- He is a good player not the legend Liverpool thinks.
5. Their style of play- Liverpool is boring to watch especially in Champions League. I was shocked Rafa didn’t put 11 men behind the ball and settle for a 0-0 tie against Madrid.
6. Liverpool/Chelsea-Is there a more boring game to watch
7. Complaining-The only team that spends more time complaining about calls is Chelsea.
8. Jamie Carragher- From his accent to his actions on the field.
9. Only Liverpool thinks they can win the EPL title with one striker.
10. Their 18 titles- After this season hopefully we won’t have to hear about them anymore. By the way 1990 was a long time ago.
11. Player Rotation-This strategy makes no sense. Play who you think deserves to play not who is scheduled to play.
12. Fans- Is there a group of fans that has a worse reputation?
13. Here is a shock- Wayne Rooney and Sir Alex hate you. Why is it wrong for that to be said in the media
14. If you want “your trophies” back come and get them.
15. Until you hold a lead in the EPL into February you are not a legit title contender.
16. The last reason is because of their nickname. The true “Reds” are the “Red Devils”