Mid-Week Memo

October 25, 2007 | Drew Forrester

Memo to the Orioles:

I can think of nothing more telling about the state of your franchise than this:  You will approve of Kevin Millar going up to Boston to help promote the Red Sox organization and their quest to advance to the World Series — but you won’t allow Millar on the radio in Baltimore during the baseball season to promote the Orioles — unless that station happens to be the flagship affiliate.  Laughable.


Memo to Ray Lewis:

The court of public opinion has rendered its verdict on your decision to criticize your head coach in a public forum on Monday night.  You’ve been found "guilty" of betraying your teammates, coaching staff and owner. 


Memo to Chris McAlister:

Hurry back.  Please.


Memo to the Washington Redskins:

Don’t take it personal up in New England this weekend.  They beat everyone 48-21. 


Memo to Joel Skinner:

It’s not quite as bad as Bill Buckner’s gaffe, but you’re going to have to live with not sending Kenny Lofton home for a long, long time.  My media friends in Cleveland say you’re a really nice guy, so I hope you get the chance to vindicate yourself next year and help the Indians make it to the Fall Classic.


Memo to Rick Kranitz:

Welcome to Baltimore.  You’re in for quite an experience here, bro.  It’s – uh, how can I say this?…it’s not going to be a whole lot of fun, I’ll just say that and not be overly descriptive.  But the checks cash, which is really all you probably care about, right?  I mean, if you wanted to go somewhere – WIN – and get paid – you wouldn’t have agreed to join the O’s. Right?


Memo to Brian Billick:

Got a rabbit?  Better pull it out of your hat if you do. 


Memo to Jason Whitlock:

I’m not sure rap music has anything to do with Chad Johnson being rebellious.  Chad Johnson is rebellious because it’s the only way he can deflect the obvious: he’s a loser.  Meaning…he’s never done anything to help his team WIN.  He’s caught a lot of touchdown passes and done some entertaining, goofy stuff to draw attention to himself at the same time, but when the smoke clears and the dust settles, Chad Johnson isn’t a winner.  Listening to Eminem’s "Till I Collapse" doesn’t make him a bad person.  He’s just a guy who doesn’t know how to win.


Memo to Brian Roberts:

I’m REALLY, REALLY hoping your name doesn’t get mentioned in a few weeks when "the list" gets leaked to the media.


Memo to Josh Beckett:

I don’t know what’s in that necklace you’re wearing, but dude, you’re SICK. 


Memo to the Indy Colts:

I’m probably the only guy in the country who believes this right now, but I think you all are on par with the Patriots.  I guess we’ll find out on November 4, huh?


Memo to Adalius Thomas:

There’s nothing worse than a cat who spouts off and then gets the heat and has to fall back on the "I was misquoted" theme.  Come on dude…


Memo to Dusty Baker:

I thought you didn’t want to manage anymore?  What happened, your family grew up over the last 3 months to the point where it’s OK to leave them for seven months?  Another in the long line of people who avoided Baltimore like the plague.


Memo to Tom Brady:

I guess I’ll keep sending you this memo every week.  "No one should be that freakin’ good, bro."


Memo to Kyle Boller:

No matter what anyone says – and believe me, they’re are some nitwits out there who actually think you haven’t made any progress at all – you are a better quarterback for having served as an understudy to Steve McNair for the last 24 games.  You HAVE improved. 


Memo to Ralph Friedgen:

The next time you bellyache about not having sell-out crowds, keep in mind you stood us up twice last season when you were scheduled for interviews at WNST.  I can’t imagine that HELPED your ticket sales efforts, right?


Memo to the Ravens radio broadcast team:

More Rob Burnett, please.


Memo to Ozzie Newsome:

It might be time for you to go over to Bethelem Steel and see if they still have some ship repairmen on call over there.  You might need an emergency "patch job" on The Good Ship Purple.


Memo to Dave Trembley:

I realize you couldn’t publicly rip Millar a new one after his Fenway French Kiss last weekend, but your "no comment" spoke volumes. 


Comments on Facebook

Leave a Reply