I really enjoyed my Wednesday evening – sitting around watching another postseason baseball game, as members of the 2009 Baltimore Orioles are already undoubtedly spread across the United States and Caribbean …..
While I cannot inspire these idle hands to helping the Orioles’ on-field woes (for the record, I’m beginning to think Jesus, himself, might decline a shot at such a miracle …..), I do think I could help Andy MacPhail with promoting the product.
Uh-oh, my mistake …..Andy just finds ballplayers.
You know what that means ??? Yep, the radar is narrowing on the likes of Rocco Baldelli, Nick Johnson and Joe Crede …..
Indeed, what you get between the baselines might not change. But, I have some pretty bright ideas to ensure fans enjoy the overall ballpark experience. Who knows ….. my ideas might actually bring people back !!!!
And, they are …..
- Tuesday, April 14th vs. Tampa Bay – Scores Girls @ The Ballpark
– special thanks to Anna Benson …..
Is there a specific group missing at Camden Yards? Well, that’s easy – it’s EVERYBODY. However, during my dozen trips, in 2009, I noticed a lack of college-aged fans, enjoying baseball.
I got news for the Orioles – guys in the 18-25 age range really love sports, including baseball. They also crave simple food, cold beer and GIRLS. It’s a perfectly tempting combination.
So, what’s the risk in bringing in a few dozen HOT GIRLS to run the bases between innings, sell concessions and replace every miserably downtrodden usher for the night?
Start the game at 9pm, and make the minimum age for entry at 18 years old. It would be a WIN-WIN. Trust me, I know COLLEGE KIDS – and if you mix sports, girls and beer (for those 21 and over), the joint will be packed.
And, who knows ….. maybe they’ll come back, just for BASEBALL.
- Sunday, May 16th vs. Cleveland – Preakness Sunday
It’s simple, the Orioles need to find a way to capitalize on Baltimore’s BIGGEST ANNUAL SPORTS EVENT. Find a way to collaborate with the Maryland Jockey Club, during the weekend of May 15th & 16th.
The O’s and MJC already share a common problem ……
Nobody cares about the product, and their venues are embarrassingly empty. Why not work together, with incentives, to bring people to Saturday’s race and Sunday’s game?
Some cities would kill for such an opportunity.
- Monday, June 7th (No Game Scheduled) – National Cancer Survivor’s Day
That’s right, there is no game scheduled during this Giveaway/Promotion Day. Actually, the Orioles are enjoying an off-day, in the midst of a homestand, and series’ against the Red Sox and Yankees.
No help or promotion needed, right?
Monday, June 7th is “National Cancer Survivor’s Day” !!!! It’s a day when people who’ve beaten the ultimate opponent rejoice and celebrate their life defining victory.
Do you realize how many cancer survivors LOVE BASEBALL? Why not open the ballpark to them?
It’s simple, eligible participants (and one guest) just need to present a ticket to an upcoming game (Yankees/Red Sox excluded) and a note from their doctor. Once inside, they can participate in batting practice (everyone gets 5 swings), shagging flies/grounders and conversations with Orioles players and coaches.
Okay, okay, getting the players might be a monumental task. I suppose we’ll see what the young birds are made of – including a heart.
Open the concession stands, and donate the profits to the American Cancer Society. It’s the right thing to do.
- Thursday, June 10th vs. New York Yankees – Kate Hudson Appreciation Night
A special promotion when the Bronx Bombers are in town ??? YOU BETCHA. And, it’s a very simple proposition …..
This an evening for BALTIMORE BASEBALL FANS to take their ballpark back – even if it’s just for one night. The Yankees are in the house and we’re gonna make it real freakin’ uncomfortable for them.
First, the Orioles hold on to every single ticket for this game. That’s right, it starts with the team coveting all 48,876 tickets. Season ticket holders will be provided their tickets – if they show up at designated gates for entry.
Yup – if you’re a season ticket holder, you’ve gotta attend the game – if you want your tickets. You can bring guests – but, you’re responsible for WHOMEVER you bring into the game.
All other tickets will be issued at remaining gates. And, it’s a very simple process …..
You wanna come inside? No problem – have a Maryland ID, birth certificate or report card. And, you MUST wear an orange or Orioles-themed shirt. The cost of tickets is $20 each – and they’ll be provided in groups of up to 4, together. It’s first come – first served.
And, yes, this rule applies to everyone. What’s that ??? Mark Teixeira’s mom and dad wanna come to the game ??? They’re more than welcome – just put on some orange and get ready to heckle your son for a night. We’ll expect nothing less.
This will be a very special evening, because the Orioles are gonna get off some of that piled-up MASN money. They might not be spending it on players – but they’ll spend it on a night of entertainment ……
And, it all begins with every fan in attendance proudly displaying their free giveaway – a poster of Jesus ….. umm, I mean Johnny Damon. Whoops, wrong again, it’s Chris Robinson – aka the former – MISTER Kate Hudson. Hold up those posters while the Yankees lineup is announced.
We’re gonna kickoff the night with a splendid rendition of the National Anthem by a LIVING LEGEND. Indeed, Pete’s gonna kickout a couple hundred grand to bring the “Material Girl,” herself (a former A’Rod friend), out to sing the Star Spangled Banner.
This is followed by the ceremonial first pitch by the great Owen Wilson. I hear he’s got a mean “split her.” No doubt, this little appearance is gonna cost a few bucks, too. But, the Good Lord and Mr. Angelos know we deserve it.
As the game progresses, some very fitting tunes will be played, between innings. And, I’m talking the good stuff – “Like A Virgin,” “Borderline,” “Crazy For You,” “This Used To Be My Playground,” “Love Don’t Live Here Anymore,” “Jealous,” “She Talks To Angels,” “Remedy” …..
Of course, the 7th Inning Stretch will be a memorable occasion. The ultra-gorgeous, Mariah Carey, will perform “God Bless America.” And, the WORLD FAMOUS Black Crowes will take a prominent spot in front of the 3rd base dugout to perform “Thank God I’m A Country Boy.” Now, that’s worth the price of admission.
Will the Orioles need to do their part? You bet. If they win the game, every fan pledges to donate $10 to Nick Markakis’ “Right Side Foundation.” That’s nearly a half-million dollars. Is there any greater inspiration for Nick to finally get off his rear and start leading his team?
It can be a night to remember …..
- Monday, July 19th vs. Tampa Bay – 40th Anniversary of 1970 Orioles
Would you like to spend an evening with Brooksie, Boog, Cakes and The Crow? Toss in Don Baylor, Paul Blair, Andy Etchebarren, Dick Hall, Bobby Grich, Mike Cuellar and others, and it could be a very nice evening.
Maybe, this would be the only way to get Davey Johnson back in the house ….
It’s heartbreaking to see the special Orioles teams forgotten. Lets hope the Orioles do the right thing – honor the ‘70 O’s !!!!
- Wednesday, August 18th vs. Seattle – “Happy Birthday To LEGENDS” Night
It’s 2010, and that means THREE Orioles Legends, who happen to also be Major League Baseball Hall Of Famers, are celebrating monumental birthdays.
In fact, these gentleman all share birthdays within a couple weeks of each other, during the month of August. I’ll guarantee you the folks at WNST won’t forget this momentous occasion. Lets just hope the Orioles don’t forget, either …..
In fact, I’m hoping the Orioles can get everyone together for a special night of celebrating – and with a HUGE BIRTHDAY CAKE. It seems like August 18th – in the middle of a homestand would be a perfect evening.
Without further delay, allow me to introduce the birthday boys …..
Earl Weaver – August 14, 1930 – 80 Years Old
The most decorated and beloved manager in Orioles history will be turning 80 years old. Along with a very public party, I think it would be fitting for the Orioles to present Earl with a customized version of the 1983 World Championship ring.
He was a year removed. But, he earned it.
Frank Robinson – August 31, 1935 – 75 Years Old
The man who hit the most famous homer in Orioles history is gonna be 75 years old. Extend that olive branch, and name the left field plaza, beyond the bullpens, in his honor.
Cal Ripken Jr. – August 24, 1960 – 50 Years Old
The Ironman conquers a half-decade of life. Is there anything he hasn’t already received? I don’t care if it’s 1% ….. give Cal a minority stake in the Orioles. It would be a tangible reason for him to take an interest in the team.
- Monday, September 14th vs. Toronto – Ravens Pep Rally
That’s right, it’s the Tuesday following the start of the NFL SEASON. I guess there is always a chance the Ravens will open the “Monday Night Football” season (LOL – yeah, right), so we’ll safely make this promotion on a Tuesday.
This is an opportunity for the Orioles to collaborate with the Ravens, again. And, the perfect fundraising opportunity exists. The Orioles will split the gate with the charitable endeavors of OJ Brigance, Lenny Moore and John Mackey. Fair enough, right?
Lets be blunt, it’s the Orioles and Blue Jays, on a September weeknight. Without any incentives, a matchup between two hapless teams might draw a crowd of 5,000 diehards.
However, if the likes of Joe Flacco, Ray Lewis, Ed Reed, John Harbaugh, Ozzie Newsome, Todd Heap, Jon Ogden, Artie Donovan, Raymond Berry, Don Shula, Mike Curtis, Tom Matte, Ted Marchibroda and others are willing to lend a hand, TO LEND A HAND, I’d be willing to bet the ball park would be packed.
Heck, such an event might even attract Mike Ditka (he can backup all the talking he’s doing), Frank Gifford, John Madden, Roger Staubach, Archie Manning, Jim Brown, Fran Tarkenton, Terry Bradshaw and many others.
Wow, Looking Good, Terry !!!!
This would be a night to TRULY GIVE BACK, and raise thousands of dollars for a few very noble causes …..
- Thursday, September 30th vs. Detroit – “Bob Haynie’s 10th Anniversary Party”
I know, I know, your first impression is “Rex is straight stoned,” especially given the fragile relationship between the Orioles and WNST …..
But, if you think about it, this is a perfect opportunity for the Orioles to recognize a guy who has carried their banner, on-air, for a decade. That’s right, he’s the guy who’s at least “sipped” the orange kool-aid, ON-AIR, for more than 3,650 days …..
And, the team didn’t pay him a dime, directly or indirectly, for his loyalty …..
Mark Viviano can’t claim this …..
Tom Davis can’t claim this …..
Pete Schmuck (I’m a HUGE fan) can’t claim this …..
Bob Haynie loves the Orioles. Bob Haynie could rightfully – and with unblemished integrity – hold their feet to the fire. Instead, he chooses the high road. There is something to be said for such affection.
Honor the man !!!!
And, this is how you do it ……
For Bob Haynie’s “10th Anniversary Party,” the Orioles can make Bud Light affordable. I’m talking $4 per beer. C’mon they’re making money on that !!!! Promote the product that promotes Bob.
To get things started, we’ll use the services of the visiting team …..
The Tigers’ Jim Leyland can meet Bob outside the Eutaw Street gate, where they can burn a couple “sticks” and chat about ANYTHING. While Bud Light will be available, Mr. Leyland will defer his decision on consumption to whether the Tigers have driven him to drink – during games, by that point.
And, this is a BIG PARTY – it’s Bob Haynie’s Anniversary. There’s no telling who might show up …..
The game will start at 4pm, with an early evening finish. Then, the celebration moves a couple blocks north, to 1st Mariner Arena …..
Recently, the namesake of Bob’s favorite band, Eddie Van Halen, announced the group plans on touring, in the Summer of 2010. Now, I know what you’re thinking …. the chances of Van Halen keeping all the wheels and collective egos intact, and on their tour bus has been a challenge, to say the least.
However, they did make it through the last tour, in 2007-08 and after only one hiatus and several rescheduled dates …..
Also, Peter Angelos owes the Van Halen brothers a SOLID. Remember, he backed out of a tentative deal that would’ve landed the band performing, at Camden Yards, in 2004. Pete owes Ed a gig – plain and simple.
Why not make it Bob Haynie’s Anniversary Party ??? I can imagine a lot of Orioles fans rockin’ out to “You Really Got Me,” “Unchained,” “Ain’t Talkin’ ‘Bout Love” and “Somebody Call Me A Doctor.”
There would certainly be a fitting video tribute to the last 12 years of Orioles Baseball, as Dave and Eddie grind out an impassioned version of “Where Have All The Good Times Gone” …..
There is just something special about seeing David Lee Roth and Bob Haynie, both sporting a pair of ass-less chaps, while sipping on some Jack Daniels and singing an “Ice Cream Man” duet.
Do it, Pete ….. DO IT !!!!
Well, there it is – my proposal for the 2010 Orioles Promotions and Giveaways. Feel free to add your own ideas, below …..