Orioles Warm Stove

February 12, 2012 | Tom Federline

Is the baseball stove even on? I know last week Dan Donesquat had my oven on fire. In the matter of a few days, I had heard the Orioles had hired Brady Anderson back (to teach how NOT to get caught?), let Jeremy Guthrie go (only reliable arm they had) and were talking to Manny ‘Steroid Hair” Ramirez for a comeback. After the Ramirez announcement – I tuned out. I actually turned off the radio when I heard “Duquette talks with Ramirez.”  The first words out of my mouth were – are you kiddin’ me? Have to admit, I embellished that statement and even made myself laugh. Warm stove, hot stove, or no stove, just what is going on?

Am I quick on the trigger with my play on the O’s new GM’s name, Dan Donesquat? I attempted an Opening Day line-up and realized there really was no apparent DH. The former Boston BlowSox GM has made some moves, so he has done…………….. something. The O’s have 40 some guys claiming to be pitchers. I guess he is banking on fresh new arms, the farm system to pick up the slack and surprises galore. So let’s just say, it “appears” as if our new GM has done squat. I’m an O’s fan. I have orange kool-aid year round in my kitchen cabinets. But haven’t the orange faithful been down this road way to many times?

Brady is coming back! Director of Player Developement and Conditioning. Here I go again – Are you kiddin’ me? (laugh). So now the boys can learn how to take steroids, pay the right testing lab and NOT get caught. I was a Brady Anderson fan. It’s a shame he earned his way to get thrown in with 75% of all the other steroid using athletes in the 90’s.  Are the O’s resurging with the leagues oldest lead-off hitter? The O’s need one.


Wait a minute Donesquat I get it – so when you sign Ramirez and thank him for putting you on the map back in Boston – he will be the antithesis to Brady on steroid use. Ramirez can teach how to get caught on juice when you get greedy. Or will Ramirez be here to teach hair care? Maybe Ramirez will be the DH? Ok, I have to stop. No steroid hair.

Jeremy Guthrie gone. I get he is coming up on the last year of his contract. Had another “hard luck” year. A little arm soreness, a friend of the long ball, age, need to change the gaurd, etc. Who was the O’s “go to” guy these last few years? Who ate up innings with “quality starts”? Who was the only guy on that pitching staff, you could say when it was his turn in the starting rotation, “At least we have a shot tonight?” I guess you are a gambling man Dan Donesquat. We are anxious to see. And good ole Jeremy Guthrie, my advice to you is, you’re just “Gonna Walk and Don’t Look Back” – (Peter Tosh and Mic Jagger – great duet). Good luck in Rockies land, you deserve it.

Opening Day line-up (proposed as of today): 1. Robert Andino – 2b (Roberts is done). 2. J.J. Hardy – SS (Thanks you Andy Didfail). 3. Adam Jones – CF (our hope). 4. Chris Davis – (Designated Hitter – found ’em). 5. Nolan Reimaold – RF (please make it this year). 6. Matt Weiters – C (solid). 7. Wilson Betemit – 3b (Dan Duquette safety). 8. Mark Reynolds – 1b (will he top 200 K’s this year). Endy Chavez – RF (who?). Opening Day Starter – Jake Arietta (our hope). I also heard we got a Tippy Martinez clone in this Tsuyoshi Wada (who?) Injured Reserve – Nick Markakis Future HOF (1/3 of year),  Brian Roberts (indefinite /let go?).

Injured Reserve – Markakis’ abdominal surgery may be more than he bargained for. Hopefully not. Last year Ryan Zimmerman from the Washington Nationals, had a similar injury and played in 101 games. Grant it, on a different timetable. Zimmerman probably coasted during the 2011 off-season and spring training, then became injured beginning of April. We take our stomach muscles and knees for granted. Brain Roberts is a mess. A self inflicted bat to the head, a head first slide into first? What aren’t they telling us?

It finally turned cold. I need something on the stove and in the fireplace to keep me warm, preferably hot. It sure isn’t the Orioles. Actually, the nut ball fan that I am, I believe the O’s have a good base. I thought they did last year and the year before that and the year before that. I would love to take back my nickname for the new O’s GM and praise his rolling of the dice. But the story is all to familiar. We all know the trouble starts at the top with Mr. Please Free the Birds Angelos. Maybe Dan’s hands are tied. Maybe Dan was just tired of being re-tired. Maybe Baltimore O’s fans are due for a few surprises. Maybe I’ve already started drinking to much orange kool-aid.

End on a positive – The cartoon bird is back! And I do like the 20 years at Camden Yards site, here’s the link http://orioles.mlb.com/bal/camdenyards20/index.jsp .  




7 Comments For This Post

  1. Erich Hawbaker Says:

    Like you, I was a Brady Anderson fan until a couple years ago. But when he came out and dismissed the Free The Birds protests and said that Peter Angelos was “one of the best” owners in baseball, I lost all the respect I ever had for him. That showed me that he is a shill who is fine with ignoring the decay of the team and lying to the fans just like the rest of them in the front office. And if absolutely nothing improves while he’s on the staff, he’ll just collect his paycheck and not give a damn.

    As far as Manny goes… it gives me nightmares. Last year, I was dreading the possibility of them picking up Carlos Zambrano after Chicago cut him loose, since we all knew about MacFail’s affinity for signing washed-up Cubs. Is Duquette going to have the same habit with former Red Sox? He’s absolutely an improvement over his predecessor, and I’m glad he’s doing SOMETHING to restock the blighted farm system. But this habit the Orioles have of signing stars who peaked about 7 years ago has got to stop. Joe Carter, Albert Belle, Sammy Sosa, Miguel Tejada, Vlad Guerrero… they have ALL been disasters!

  2. unitastoberry Says:

    Sell 51% to Calvin Ripken JR.

  3. unitastoberry Says:

    opps JR

  4. JC Says:

    Dan the man Duquette just wanted to get back in baseball and was willing to take even the worst GM job in baseball to do it. Then he moves into the warehouse only to find that he’s not allowed to spend any real money on any players that will definitely make a difference. What would you do? Same thing he did. Get as many of the washed up, underachievers that you can for cheap and hope that one or two of them pan out. In the mean time you are creating the perception that you are actually doing something in the offseason.

    Looks like another long season awaits us with no really meaningful games to be played after the all star break. Let’s hope MASN keeps running the World Series games from when the Orioles were a franchise to be reckoned with.

  5. Fedman Says:

    If it were only that simple. Saw Cal the other night on the tube – “I’m not really following the Orioles at the moment. – I know they need pitching.” Unfortunately, I don’t think Cal is buying anything Angelos would be selling. Here’s a good one – Where was Peter Angelos born? You all are gonna love that one.
    Thanks for the feedback. Keep ’em rolling.


  6. Fedman Says:

    You have to wonder, just what was in that “juice” Brady was ingesting. Is it still part of his diet? Director of Player Developement – The Art of Following the Pack and Cheating by Brady Anderson. Just what Baltimore needs.
    I think they oughta erect statues of all the “Oriole Juicers” over the past 20 years at Camden Yards and have them surround the New York Yankee statue of Babe Ruth out on Eutaw Street. Is there enough room? Thanks for the feedback. Keep ’em rolling.


  7. Fedman Says:

    Dan Donesquat is gonna surprise us all! Just like Camera Cameron did with the Ravens!
    How about Erich bringing up Albert Belle? Washed up, underachievers – how about Glenn Davis? Or did he just go downhill after bar fights, not paying attention during batting practice and falling down the dugout steps?
    Worst GM job in baseball – “What would I do?” First I would get a mega million dollar iron-clad contract with a clause for no sensorship. Then I would proceed to probably get fired that first day or at least within the first week.
    Remember, the Cartoon Bird is back annnnnnnnnd there’s a cool link to Camden Yards 20 years on O’s website. You know where to find the orange stuff. Thanks for the feedback. Keep ’em rolling.


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