People on ‘The List’ you may not know about

December 13, 2007 |

Let the fun begin! Come on, admit it, you’re riveted to your television right now, or your radio, just dying to find out who’s on the list. ESPN is doing five hours of coverage … FIVE FREAKIN’ HOURS! What the hell are they going to cover? What can you possibly talk about regarding steroids for FIVE HOURS? All you need is — “Here’s the list. No surprises … We now return you to the fourth-annual National ‘Chutes and Ladders’ tournament.”

By the way, there are a bunch of other names on the list who you may not know about:

Colonel Mustard
Bob The Builder
My dentist
Your dentist
The cast of “How I Met Your Mother”
William Bendix (played Babe Ruth in a movie once)
Ralph Macchio
George Mitchell
Dweezil Zappa
Six of the Seven Dwarfs (Sleepy was a wuss)
Angelina Jolie
Bob Haldeman (If you don’t know who this is look up “Watergate”)
Father Guido Sarducci
Alanis Morrisette
All guys named “Reggie”
A half dozen CJs Crabs
My fifth grade teacher Miss Torfield (hottest teacher who’s ever lived)
Sir Isaac Newton
Wayne Newton
Fig Newton
Olivia Newton (but not John)
“Crash” Davis
Andrew’s son Oliver

There’s more, but I have to run …

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