Please…tell me we’ve been tricked. Please.

November 11, 2008 | Drew Forrester

I’m holding out hope tonight that the Orioles (actually, more like MLB Properties) have tricked us all.

The more I look at the picture of the “new hat” that is (supposedly) going to be unveiled tomorrow, the more I’m really starting to hope/wonder/guess that perhaps, just perhaps, they’re going to shock us all with something different than we’ve seen.  The “new hat” is everywhere…I had one sent to me (via e-mail) on Friday and my first thought was “no WAY this is what they’re going with next year…”  NO. WAY.

Then, over the weekend and into Monday, I kept seeing that same hat in various other places on the web…and I thought, “holy heck…this might be real.”

Tonight, about 18 hours before the “unveiling”, I’m still holding out hope that somehow, someway tomorrow at noon, we come to find out that we’ve all been duped.  

Maybe “the hat” (I’ll refer to it as “Stuffy The Bird”) we’ve all seen is their Sunday cap?  Please tell me THAT’S possible.

Maybe Stuffy The Bird will only be worn for Friday home games?  Maybe?  Please?

Maybe Stuffy is an Interleague-Only cap.  I know, I’m grasping at straws now.

I just keep looking at Stuffy on the front of that cap that’s been circulating for five days now and I think: “there’s no way, no way at all, that smart, creative, edgy marketing people came up with THIS as the new design for an Orioles franchise in dire need of a full make-over.”

I feel like Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men when he said:  “please tell me you haven’t pinned the hopes of these Marines on a phone bill…”

Please tell me that smart marketing folks have done better than this…Stuffy The Bird.  Then again, after months of contemplation last winter and spring, the O’s presented to us “This is Birdland” as their marketing theme for ’08.  Maybe my standards are just too high.

I’m still holding out hope that tomorrow at noon, the O’s are going to shock us all and unveil something bold…with action…with fun.  After all, a hat is the one thing you can wear all the time to show your affection for the team.  Morning, noon, night…hot weather, cold weather…popping out to the store…going to the Ravens game…heading to a bar with the guys.  Grab your favorite hat and go.  You want the hat you wear to look good.  Stuffy The Bird looks like he’s had one too many quaaludes and that he’s just happy to still be upright – on two feet.  It’s not something “wearable” – in my opinion.

I hope Stuffy The Bird is somehow a trick…a ploy…an intentional “leak” to keep everyone off the trail.

I called my contact today – one last time – and said, “C’mon bro…level with me…is thing you sent to me the real deal?  I’m just not buying it…”

“Yep…”, he said.  “That’s the one.”

It can’t be. 

A dummy like me could sit in a room for three hours with a half-dozen WNST listeners and come up with a logo/hat better than that thing.  I’m serious about that.

Tomorrow, I’ll be THRILLED to death if the Orioles stand up there and show off some new kind of hat that in no way resembles the one that’s been circulating for the last few days.

Please, please don’t have Stuffy The Bird show up tomorrow.

I’d rather see Daniel Cabrera in the rotation next spring.

Did I just write that?