So…it’s Sunday. The Ravens are at Minnesota for a HUGE showdown.
And I’ve put myself “out there” with a game of my own. Many of you – well, based on the numbers, A LOT of you – tune in here every Sunday to see my “10 things you can count on” blog. If you’re new to the blog, I jot down 10 things that I think will happen – or not happen – during the course of the Ravens game.
The first four weeks, I was pretty decent, hitting at about a .400 clip.
Last week wasn’t a great week. I went 0-for-10.
The jerks came out and beat me up for going 0-for-10. Where were the jerks when I went 4-for-10, you ask? In hiding somewhere, I assume. They only come out at night — or when things DON’T go well.
Anyway, I’ve promised to fix that today. I’m going to go 7-for-10. At least. Guaranteed. And I’m willing to bet on it. At this point, a handful of readers have been man enough to step up and put THEIR money where their mouth is…and the good folks at Maryvale Prep will benefit no matter what happens.
I say I’m going 7-for-10 at the very worst. If I don’t, I owe Maryvale the total sum of the money wagered. But — if I do go at least 7-for-10, the guys who have wagered have to donate to Maryvale.
Before I show you my “10 things you can count on” blog, I’d like you to watch something.
It’s VERY important – ESPECIALLY IF YOU’VE WAGERED – to watch what’s been linked below.
I think you’ll like it.
Click right here, please. It’s not a virus or anything. It’s a movie clip.
And now, here are my “10 things you can count on” for today’s game.
Make your checks payable to Maryvale Prep, please.
And don’t EVER, EVER laugh at me again. Thanks.
Ravens at Minnesota, 10/18.
1. It’s been a long time since one team had a kick-off return for a touchdown and a safety in the same game. It won’t happen again today, either. Drew’s call: There won’t be a kick-off return for a touchdown and a safety in today’s game — by the same team.
2. Cedric Benson gained over 100 yards against the Ravens last week, breaking a nearly-3-year streak where the Ravens hadn’t allowed a 100-yard rusher. When’s the last time they allowed someone to rush for 200 yards against them? I don’t know. But I DO know this…the Ravens won’t allow one player to rush for 200 yards against them today.
3. Brett Favre is known for throwing interceptions. He once threw five in one game. Joe Flacco’s never done that. And Flacco won’t throw five interceptions today, either. You can count on that.
4. Mark Clayton got a lot of grief a few weeks back in New England because he dropped a pass inside the 10 yard within the final minute of the game with the Ravens trailing by 6 points. All throughout the next week, I told people, “Don’t worry, that won’t happen again this season…” - And I’m here to tell you it won’t happen again today. You can count on this: Clayton won’t drop a pass inside the 10 today with less than a minute to go and the Ravens down by six points. COUNT. ON. IT.
5. Ray Rice has been Baltimore’s leading ground gainer this year. He’ll lead the team in rushing on Sunday in Minnesota as well.
6. If Brett Favre manages to throw a TD pass on Sunday, he’ll celebrate by running around and putting his right index finger in the air…you know, the “I’m #1″ sign. That said, he’s not #1. Peyton Manning is.
(By the way, at this point, I’m actually snickering…like I wrote earlier, don’t ever laugh at me again. And pay up…you deadbeats.)
7. Jared Allen said after a 4.5 sack game against Green Bay a few weeks back: ”It wasn’t nothin’ special. Anyone in this league can get 4.5 sacks if things go right for them.” No, Jared, they can’t. In fact, you can count on this: No one on the Ravens will have 4.5 sacks on the QB in Sunday’s game at Minneota.
8. I wonder how long it’s been since John Beck threw a touchdown pass in the NFL? His streak is going to last at least another week. He won’t throw one in Minnesota on Sunday. You can count on that.
(I’m doubled over in laughter now. I want your money on Monday. Don’t take 3 weeks to pay up. Jerks. LOL!!)
9. Chester Taylor was rumored to have said, “I’d give anything to score something like 4 TD’s in a game against the Ravens. They let me go and I’ll never forgive them for that. Wouldn’t it be great to spike the ball 4 times on them when we play them in October?” Yep, Chester, it probably would be, my man. But guess what? You can count on this: Chester Taylor is NOT scoring 4 TD’s against the Ravens on Sunday.
10. All of you who took the bet are pissed off. Not my fault. ”Mess with the bull…you get the horns”. And look at it this way…you only lost $10 or $20 today. At least you didn’t lose your car like Tin Cup did, right?
Have a good week, boys! ;)