Redskins vs. Patriots — the most wrong I’ve ever been

October 29, 2007 |

I thought the most wrong I’d ever been was when I decided my ex-girlfriend was worth spending the rest of my life with. OK, maybe that still is the most wrong I’ve ever been. After all she proved to be a manipulative, lying lunatic who, if there truly is a God, will get hit by a bus any day now.

But number two on the list has to be foolishly thinking the Redskins would give New England a game yesterday. Wow, was I mistaken! It was like picking France over Germany in World War II. Or the Christians over the Lions at the Coliseum in Rome. It was thinking George W. Bush would actually beat Al Gore in 2000. I mean that was — OK, forget the unnecessary Bush dig for a second — see my point.

I sat down to watch the game with my brother Andrew at Zen West in Towson. We ordered chips, salsa, tamales, margaritas (of course) and readied ourselves for what I was certain would be a closely fought game featuring a rugged NFC East defense giving the Patriots fits. Before I had a chance to “salsafy” my first chip, the Patriots were up 7-0. That’s when it got ugly.

The Patriots are like “The Borg” in Star Trek. They just destroy everything in their path. It’s as though they’ve discovered some secret the rest of the league hasn’t figured out yet — some new way to play the game of football. Are there really only 11 guys on the field? How do players get so FREAKIN’ open? I’ve watched a lot of great dynasty teams in my life. The Pittsburgh Steelers of the 1970s had the best defensive unit the world has ever seen. The 1980s gave us Joe “Cool” Montana and the San Francisco 49ers. In the ’90s, you had the Dallas Cowboys.

I’ve got news for you, this New England Patriots team is better than ANY TEAM THAT’S EVER PLAYED THE GAME OF FOOTBALL. The fact that I actually thought that Randy Moss might prove to be a bust is insane. Have you seen the look of joy on Tom Brady’s face every time he throws a pass? “Wow,” he’s thinking, “so this is what it’s like to throw to a premier wide receiver.” I think if Brady had to choose between losing Randy Moss or swearing off swimsuit models, there’d be more than a few sad faces in model land.

I could offer some numbers to illustrate just how good this team is but what’s the point? ou all see the scores and you all wish you had drafted Tom Brady for your fantasy team instead of Brees, Manning, Palmer or LaDainian Tomlinson for that matter. Right now, he’s on pace to shatter Peyton Manning’s touchdown record and next weekend, I have a feeling the Patriots will shatter the Colts. But what the hell do I know?

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