Sam Just Ain’t the Ma

May 22, 2007 |

Sam Perlozzo seems like a decent enough guy.  Maybe that’s been the problem all along.  The Orioles don’t need decent anymore.  They need extraordinary.  Only extraordinary isn’t available right now.  John Mcgraw is long dead. So’s Miller Huggins and Casey Stengel.  Earl Weaver and Sparky Anderson aren’t dead but I’m sure they’d rather be than manage these Orioles.

What made these guys extraordinary wasn’t just their on the field prowess it was their passion for winning.  And that’s what the Orioles need most from a manager right now.  They need fiery.  More.  They need chair throwing, cussing and a fistfight if need be. 

They need a guy who doesn’t give Eric Bedard a "blankie" when he gets all sleepy after 98 pitches and, instead, grabs him by the ear and throws him back out onto that mound to help the team win a ball game. 

They need a guy who tells Jay Gibbons to shut up and be glad he’s still playing organized ball.  Personally, I wouldn’t draft him for my Sunday beer league. 

They need a guy who can call Danys Baez into his office and demand that he donate most of his 5 million dollar a year salary to some charity or something because HE certainly doesn’t deserve it.  In fact, the Orioles need a guy who will throw a Joan Baez CD at Danny’s head and scream "she’s a better pitcher than you are!"

They need a guy who will tell Miguel Tejada that if he swings at the first pitch again, he’s sitting down for three days and he can shove the streak up his A-!

They need a guy who will remind Aubrey Huff that a baseball won’t get its feeling hurt if you hit it once in awhile.

They need a guy who doesn’t let his third base coach direct runners like he’s directing traffic during the Fall of Saigon.

They need a guy who will storm into the locker room, red faced and smoking after their next embarrassing loss (and don’t worry there’s plenty more to come) and tell anyone within ear shot that LOSING ain’t what Baltimore baseball is about. 
Perlozzo’s not that guy.

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