Yes, I said it! It’s boring. The draft IS boring. Everything involving the draft is boring. Think about this. On draft day, a bunch of NFL executives and kids hoping to win the multi million dollar lottery, sit around in some room and call out names hour after hour after hour. That’s it! That’s all they do.
Remember when the teacher took attendance in school? This is the same thing!
Wait, no, it’s worse. Imagine if when the teacher took attendance she waited up to 10 minutes between calling out each name. You’d put a freakin’ bullet in your head!
In the first round of the draft, teams have up to 10 minutes to make a selection. Up until this year it was 15 minutes. In other words, this was the NFL’s way of SPEEDING UP THE DRAFT!
Who the hell needs 10 minutes? I mean I understand sometimes you try to trade out of the round or down or up or sideways or whatever the hell they do but couldn’t you do it a little faster? There are surgical procedures that take less time!
And why do we care? Why do we analyze and debate whether or not some team should choose between the athletic cornerback who “really is a good kid as long he goes to a team with a head coach who knows how to keep him from smashing his girlfriend’s head through a plate glass window again” or the soon to be All-Pro left tackle who can “anchor the O-line just as soon as he gets those drug charges cleared.”
Okay, I realize I’m being mean spirited here and I also realize that a very high percentage of NFL players DON’T get arrested but, really my point is, I JUST DON’T FREAKIN’ CARE! The Ravens will draft whomever they think they like and there’s not a thing in the world I can do about it.
I miss the good old days where you woke up the next day, looked at the paper or turned on the radio and found out who your favorite team chose.
Now you can have up to the minute info text messaged, faxed, emailed or cellphoned directly to you.
Because heaven forbid you miss out on discovering that the Dolphins did something really unpredictable in the fourth round and took the 13th highest rater linebacker when you had them taking a D-back with a lot of “upside” and so now you have to scramble to figure out what the Ravens are going to do with their pick and maybe they should just go ahead and grab ALL quarterbacks for the entire draft thereby proving that the “crap against the wall” theory of drafting quarterbacks really can work!
Of course you don’t even need to have this information delivered to you because you’re probably still drunk, sitting in Looney’s pub for day two of the draft because you haven’t left since day one and there’s puke all over your jersey and your wife called to tell you she’s leaving with the kids forever and when she hears you cry she thinks you actually CARE about that, unaware that really you’re crying because you still can’t believe the Ravens passed over Matt Ryan for Brian Broehm.
Tonight on our show we’ll be talking about the ’08 NFL draft for the first time. I’ll do my best to make the conversation compelling and enlightening. Really, I’ll try. But I’m going to be a little bored. Below is something that will REALLY bore you. The latest “draft table”. Apparently, this is supposed to show you what you should give up or get when trading picks.
|1st Rd||2nd Rd||3rd Rd||4th Rd||5th Rd||6th Rd||7th Rd|
Go ahead, try and convince me that’s not REALLY BORING!
Tomorrow, I might post my own “mock draft” Fighting Ungers style. Except that could be boring too.