Triple Crown Edition of Three Stars and Three Geeks of The Week!

May 05, 2009 |

In honor of the 50-1 longshot, Mine That Bird winning the Kentucky Derby and coming to the Preakness next week, our stars and geeks of the week will follow a horse racing motif.


Instead of having three stars, our heroes will be listed as Win, Place and Show. They are also underdogs that have overcome the odds and gave us entertaining moments this past week in the world of sports.


Win – Mine That Bird and jockey, Calvin Borel. The story of this horse winning the derby is in itself amazing. But the fact that this is the SECOND Kentucky Derby win for Borel (and he did so with such a longshot is incredible). The horse itself was thought to have a size disadvantage in the race, but Borel and Mine That Bird made the “run for the roses” theirs!


Place – Simeon Varlamov. Now one can argue that Ovi could be a star of the week, but unlike Varly, no one considers #8 to be underrated. Some outside of D.C. might think the opposite. The fact that Varly is 21 years old and has played more playoff games in the NHL than in the regular season and is playing at a high level at the right time is incredible. A few weeks ago, he was a Hershey Bear. Now he might be the best thing to come from Hershey since the Resse’s Peanut Butter Cup. Last week, he made a save that stole candy from crybaby Sidney “Ref, make them stop throwing hats” Crosby.


Show – Sonia Bompastor, Washington Freedom. This feisty, petite, midfielder who joined Washington from the French National Team, scored two goals (one of them in stoppage time) and threatened to score more by creating several quality chances for the Freedom this past Sunday. She was at a disadvantage in height and size with many of the St. Louis players that defended against her but she never gave up and neither did her team as they rallied from a 3-1 deficit to tie the match and give the Washington Freedom a point in the standings.


And now for our geeks…..


The music that I will cue for this week will be the geekiest, horse related music video that I could find. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Osmonds with “Crazy Horses”.

Our entries for the Geekness Stakes will be based on things that you may see at the Preakness:

1. Corporate sponsored blimp flying over Baltimore for the overhead camera shots of Pimlico.

You know what also flies over Baltimore? Baseballs hit by opposing batters
against the Orioles’ pitching staff. I listed them as geeks last week, but I excluded
Koji and Guthrie. This week, Guthrie is lumped in these wild horses. He has
developed a strange trend for giving up home runs with 2 outs in the inning.

2. A grey horse

I remember my father telling me a story about a tip he was given for betting on horses. He was told to “always bet on a grey horse.” Well, I don’t watch a lot of horse racing but from what I have seen, I don’t remember seeing a grey horse win. Someone who has grey and has been acting like part of a grey horse over the years is Brett Favre.

He retired from Green Bay and then he changed his mind. Then the Jets acquired him. He retired again. Now, allegedly he had been meeting with the Vikings to play for them. Brett, do us a favor! Run down the stretch, shut the hell up and don’t come back. Enough already.

3. A crying baby

Like a lot of sporting events, mothers often like to bring their bundles of joy to horse races. And like other sporting events, many of these bundles of joy cry when they are tired, hungry or don’t get what they want. Our third geek is crybaby Sidney Crosby. He actually complained to the referees when Caps’ fans threw hats onto the ice after Ovechkin’s hat trick in Game #2 last night. Not only does this make him appear to be a geek and a wuss, but also a moron. Because the game was stopped due to the ice crew cleaning up the celebratory mess, his team got extra time to breathe and re-group to possibly to tie the game. If anyone would have a gripe, it would be the Caps because they would want to play on to continue the momentum. Of course, the Caps or any other team wouldn’t complain about this on their home ice.