Tuesday Morning’s Crabs and Beer

April 20, 2010 | Glenn Clark

Happy Tuesday!

It’s a Happy Tuesday for me because I didn’t get made into a LeBron James poster last night like Bulls rookie James Johnson did…

…this is the NBA in 2010. The only time anyone cares is when someone dunks the ball and there’s a guy standing underneath him. Defense be damned!

Look, I think the dunk looked as cool as the next guy-but since that was probably the highlight of the first round of the playoffs, it was a cool reminder to me as to why I’ll be passing on the bulk of the NBA playoffs.

Let’s see what everyone has to say…

1. The AP says Doug Fister couldn’t finish off no-hitter, but Mariners had little trouble taking care of Orioles

As our buddy Sam Angell said on Twitter:

“If (Gary) Thorne and (Jim) Palmer keep talking about fisting her, @masnsports is going to get its FCC license revoked.”

(Edit from GMC: Please follow us on Twitter @WNST. We do shtick too.)

It couldn’t have been more awkward that some fella named Fister was throwing a no-hitter until the 7th inning. I REALLY had to think to myself “This can’t possibly happen”, but I also knew better.

Ugh. I was frustrated when the season started, but that frustration eventually gave way to laughter. Now it’s hard to even laugh anymore. Before too long, I’m just going to have to give up. How much more of this long civic nightmare can we take?!?!?

2. The AP/WNST.net offer numerical evidence of loss

Matt Wieters had a couple of hits and Ty Wigginton homered! Of course, Ty Wigginton also made a costly error-but that’s the beauty of Ty Wigginton, really. He can’t play any individual position, but he can man a spot on the field right up until the point when someone hits the ball to him!

Look, you really don’t want to look at last night’s box score. I think you’d much rather look at a picture of Anna Sedokova from Russia’s version of Maxim, via Guyism.com…


3. WNST.net’s Jay Trucker says Felix Pie likely to miss 3 months

How will we ever survive?

A lot of people will choose to say something about the start of this season like “how could you expect a team to overcome this many crippling injuries?”

My response would probably be something along the lines of “Are the O’s the first MLB team to ever deal with injuries?”

When I said Andy MacPhail and company had put together a team that was “woefully incomplete” before the season, I wasn’t trying to be cute. The reason the Cardinals were willing to part ways with Julio Lugo was because they knew they needed a better option as a utility infielder should their starters get hurt.

This team is desperately trying to make puzzle pieces interlock that don’t match. I know they fit a square peg in a round hole on Apollo 13…

…but it isn’t happening in baseball.

There aren’t pieces here that fit. When Dave Trembley asked “why not” about why he would play Luke Scott at 1B last night-there was a part of me that felt for him. He’s been handed 25 players. Not a baseball team, but 25 players. He’s supposed to somehow make it work.

It doesn’t matter that Felix Pie is going to miss 3 months…he’s one of the misfit pieces!

This team isn’t bad because of injuries, this team is bad because the pieces don’t fit!!!

4. The Sun’s Jeff Zrebiec says Bergesen sent down after disastrous start, Alberto Castillo called up

There wasn’t much of another option here.

Bergesen has been TERRIBLE. Not “rough”, just TERRIBLE. And this isn’t the debatable type of TERRIBLE like David Hernandez was last week against the Athletics, this is the unthinkable type of terrible that says Bergesen just can’t be at this level right now.

I HOPE this is still him dealing with the injuries from both last season and from the MASN commercial shoot this offseason. I really do.

Despite the fact that he was the team’s best pitcher a season ago, I was never convinced that he was a guy that we could pencil in for 10-14 wins this season.

But I didn’t expect THIS.

A lot of people think Jason Berken will be the guy to move into the rotation while Bergesen is out. It makes sense, as Berken can take Bergesen’s rest, Castillo can move into the pen, and Berken has pitched VERY well thus far.

However, I hope that isn’t the case. Berken has found a role that fits him, and he’s likely best served staying in that role.

The best assumption here is that the Birds will go with a 4 man rotation (due to the way the off days break) for a little while until they have to make a permanent decision. Chris Tillman was the easy choice before the season, but the way he’s struggled at Norfolk has to leave questions.

5. Fox Sports’ Ken Rosenthal says Cal Ripken, Peter Angelos didn’t have stories straight in responses

For whatever reason, a few members of the apologist community decided to go after Ken Rosenthal yesterday instead of actually trying to figure out what’s really going on in this situation.

Others have lost a bit of perspective. For example, Drew Forrester chose our good friend Scott Hoffman (who I love by the way-and once told him that drunkenly at Padonia Station) from Orioles Hangout as today’s “Apologist of the Morning” on the Morning Reaction on AM1570.

Here’s what Scott had to say yesterday…

Do I think Rosenthal’s “unnamed sources” were wrong about Angelos vetoing a deal with Ripken to prevent the hometown hero from taking undue credit for the O’s turnaround?  I generally believe where there’s smoke there’s fire, but in this case it sounded so absurd that I simply wasn’t buying it.

Think about it:  “Hey hometown hero offering your services to the team I own, a team that hasn’t experienced greatness since you said goodbye in 2001…I don’t want your presence or your help because I don’t want you to receive credit should this team turn things around.  Thanks, though.”  It’s ridiculous!  It would be absolute public relations suicide if that part of the story were true.

Public Relations suicide?!?!? Would this be the 787th or 788th time that happened???

The perspective to keep here is that is CERTAINLY looks like Ken Rosenthal got good information. He went to the respective parties for quotes-informing them that he was running the story. Instead of responding, THEY allowed the story to run as-is.

Hindsight is ALWAYS 20-20.

6. The Sun’s Dean Jones Jr. says Jake Arrieta decent, Steve Johnson struggled for O’s on farm

Jake Arrieta would also be a choice to slide right into a rotation spot, I just have a gut feeling that the organization wants to hold off on that. Arrieta has been “ready” for a while now, yet hasn’t gotten the call. Unless they just don’t have another choice, I don’t think it’s coming this time.

Before we move on, a reminder that the O’s and M’s get back at it at Safeco Field in Seattle tonight. David Hernandez faces Jason Vargas, first pitch is at 10:10pm and the game is on MASN2. We’ll be hosting our “Orange Crush” chat at 10pm at WNST.net.

7. National Football Post’s Aaron Wilson says Oregon safety T.J. Ward visited 1 Winning Drive

The easiest comparison to make about Ward is to former Ducks safety Pat Chung, who was drafted by the New England Patriots a season ago. They’re the same size (5’11”, 212 pounds), the same position and roughly the same speed.

While safety isn’t necessary a priority for the Ravens, the uncertain NFL future of Ed Reed and the uncertain future of Dawan Landry in Baltimore really have to make it a position that they address at some point during the NFL Draft.

8. BaltimoreRavens.com’s Mike Duffy says Demetrius Williams, Tony Moll signed tender offers

Can’t WAIT for the Vince Lombardi Trohpy to come by 1550 Hart Rd.!!!!

Williams faces a long road to making the roster in Training Camp, especially if the Ravens add a taller receiver between now and then. We KNOW Anquan Boldin, Derrick Mason and Donte’ Stallworth will make the roster, and Williams, Mark Clayton, Justin Harper and others will be in the mix behind that.

It will provide for an interesting August at McDaniel College. Which is more than what we can say about what will be going on at Camden Yards.

9. UMTerps.com says Pe’Shon Howard, Haukur Palsson officially join incoming class

These are fun names to say.

You know what else is a fun name to say? Marta Gut. And how convenient, Busted Coverage had a picture of her to show me!


10. D1scourse’s Patrick Stevens has Terps 4th, Loyola 7th, Towson 14th, Hopkins 16th in Top 20 poll

It’s truly remarkable that Tony Seaman’s Tigers are back in the Top 15, and on the cusp of a NCAA Tournament bid.

It really is.

You know what else is amazing? The picture of Jessica Hart that What Would Tyler Durden Do found…


And finally, I leave you with this.

As I said yesterday, this is Green Week here in Charm City. I will be doing my part here all week, as I care a great deal about whatever the hell it is that Green Week supports.

My contribution today is a cover of “I Fought The Law” by the band Green Day. Did you know “I Fought The Law” was originally recorded by “The Crickets” after Buddy Holly passed away? I’m FULL of useless knowledge!

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…