Turner stinks, Terps lose to Rutgers, 34-13

September 26, 2009 | Drew Forrester

Wow, what a turd the Terps dropped today at Byrd Stadium. 

And quarterback Chris Turner was the chief egg layer, looking more like a guy who should be competing for a job at the University of Maryland EASTERN SHORE rather than starting at College Park.  I guess there’s not much Ralph can do, really, but Turner makes Kyle Boller look like Dan Marino.

Losing to Rutgers?  Not impossible, of course.  After all, Maryland’s not really that good.

But getting b-slapped, at home, 34-13, to Rutgers?

In the words of Bob Haynie — “that’s unacceptable”.

This just in:  Maryland threw in the towel with six minutes to play and Rutgers picked it off and took it back for a TD.

The Terps are now 1-3. 

And, if James Madison had a decent kicker, Ralph’s gang would be 0-4.

Have no fear, though, I just checked the early line for next week and Maryland is FAVORED, actually.

Don’t believe me?  Here it is, I did the “cut and paste” thing from CollegePigskinWager.com

10/3 — Maryland (-4.5) at Glen Burnie High School, 7:30 pm

How about that, the Terps are even a ROAD favorite next week!

OK, so this isn’t exactly the way Ralph and his staff figured ’09 would play out.

Well, along the way, somewhere, somehow, they’ll probably beat someone they’re not supposed to beat.


OK, probably not.

Usually when a team hits a rough patch, it’s fair to use the axiom “when you’re losing, you’re never as bad as you look…and when you’re winning, you’re never as good as you look.”

In this case, the axiom is wrong.  

Maryland’s bad.

EDIT: Chris Turner is so prone to turnovers he just asked his boss at Panera Bread if he could come in and do the baking shift tonight at 11pm.

Whew…they just lost by 21 to freakin’ Rutgers.

I don’t know what else to say.

I sure hope Glenn Clark knows how much we all care for him.  He has a lot of family and friends who are very supportive of him.  Glenn, please…just come on home, son.  

Ralph just went to the podium and said, “Hey, at least we’re not as bad as the Orioles.”

OK, he didn’t really say that.

I did.

Just trying to keep it light, folks, that’s all.

(Try the veal…it’s terrific.  And don’t forget to tip your wait staff.)