What Were They Thinking …..

September 22, 2009 |

Have you ever watched a sporting event or observed a bizarre news story, while thinking “what rationale went into that decision?” It happens all the time, right? Heck, it comes in everyday life, and in the normal course of your day – the way people drive – how they treat others – the clothes they wear !!!!

However, it seems most sensationalized attention is devoted to ill-logical decisions by celebrity-types, like the quarterback who throws a horrible interception, the tycoon who marries a hillbilly or the athlete who gets caught with a gun, right?

The difference? Well, the dimwit driver on York Road rarely gets national attention, whereas the politician who hooks up with a call-girl, and gets busted, will be exposed for the world to see.

Over the past week, I’ve observed some pretty interesting behavior and decisions. Admittedly, I don’t think you’ll be interested in the poor decisions I observed at Arundel Mills Mall or the North Point Flea Market. Thus, I’ll keep it on the mainstream level.

What were they thinking …..

“Monday Night Football” Scheduling Committee – Ravens vs. Browns (Nov. 16)

Did someone, somewhere think the Cleveland Browns were gonna be a competitive football team, in 2009? Hey, don’t get me wrong – I fully support the Ravens winning an MNF contest, before the eyes of a national audience. After all, they’ve dropped their past 5 MNF appearances.

But, I’d like to think the NFL or whoever develops the PRIME Monday Night Football schedule might be able to find a more suitable opponent, than the Browns ….. on the heels of a 4-12 season. How in the hell did that happen?

Is the scheduling process really nothing more than “Monday Night Monkey Pick ‘Em” ??? Seriously, do the guys up in Mr. Goodell’s office let chimps pick the teams out a hat or by colorful helmet design? I mentioned this same perceived process in a blog, last year. But, I think it bears repeating.

And, don’t feed me the “Any Given Sunday” crap, either. It’s the BROWNS. The Ravens streak of MNF losses will come to an end. However, the choice of respectable opponent, or lack thereof, has me asking “what were they thinking” ……

Kenny Chesney – Summer Tour 2010 – NOT GONNA HAPPEN

Oh, I’m certain a few readers will look at this and say “No Kenny Chesney, BIG DEAL !!!!” Okay, I’ll give ya that one. But doesn’t that really apply to any musical artist?

In the grand scheme of life, I’d say that Kenny Chesney visiting our town isn’t nearly as important as Norv Turner deciding to run the ball, when his team is on the verge of crushing our day ……

But, it sucks for the crowd of hot girls WHO like to run around in tight jeans and bikini tops, while swigging cheap beer and homemade cocktail concoctions – as Kenny delivers a couple hours of fun on a warm summer night.

And, it REALLY, REALLY sucks for the guys who like partying with those girls.

We’re a few paragraphs into this – you don’t think people go to a Kenny Chesney concert for the critically acclaimed music, do you? It’s COUNTRY MUSIC !!!! The truth is Kenny Chesney’s Summer Tour has become a “Jimmy Buffett-like” pilgrimage, for young hot women, between the ages of 18-30, and beyond.

I’ve been to a couple hundred concerts and I’ve never witnessed such a volume of good-looking girls to guys ratio. Who cares if you don’t like country music? You like girls, don’t you?

Heck, if I was in that age demographic, again, I’d go to see Liberace, Motorhead, Lawrence Welk, Peaches & Herb or anyone else, if it meant hanging with a bunch of hotties for the evening.

To be honest, I don’t understand Kenny Chesney’s rationale. In regard to taking a break, in 2010, he said …..

“It would be easy to keep doing it, because it’s fun, and the fans are unbelievable. But I don’t know — then you realize that at some point you’re missing a part of your life. My life has been a lot about parking lots. I need to recharge creatively, and get off the clock of having to be somewhere just because …..”

Dude, your tour ends in September and you head directly for your home in the Caribbean – not to be seen until the following spring. And, regardless of the music he releases, it’s a hit. Not to mention, virtually every Chesney song is about drinking beer, in college.

This is like a pro baseball player saying he needs a year off.

I’m inclined to think if Kenny Chesney skips a year, the hotties will find a new summer tradition. And, the guys will follow. “What was he thinking …..”

Cash For Clunkers II – Gary Williams Gets A Contract Extension

Indeed, there must be an endless flow of cash, in College Park.

On Monday, the ultra-intelligent folks (they all have graduate degrees) at the University of Maryland announced the decision to give Gary William a contract extension, through the 2103 season.

Oops, typo !!!! I meant to write “2013” ….. but, at this rate, Gary Williams will probably be coaching the Terps, in 2103, too. The rest of us will be dead, and it will only be 102 years since the team’s last NCAA title.

And, I was joking when I sent that contract offer from Bucktown State, to Coach Williams and Debbie Yow, via fax. It must’ve worked, because they panicked and gave him an extortion ….. I mean extension.

Oh, wait a minute ……

That’s right, Gary Williams actually “met or exceeded academic and/or competitive benchmarks,” which triggered the extension. Well, that really explains it and I feel much, much better now.

Although, I’ll assume these same benchmarks are not groundbreaking. In the guise of true fairness, I will abstain from making any comments about the Terp’s academic standards, because I don’t know what they are – and making light of a young person’s educational requirements isn’t really a topic for candor.

That said, I love hearing Coach Williams “exceeded the competitive requirements.” That brings a tear to my eye. Can you imagine the language in that section of his contract …..

In-Conference Competitive Requirement – “Be Better Than The Orioles.”

Congrats, Coach, you really earned it. And, Debbie ….. “What were you thinking …..”

“Jackass” Is Coming To 1st Mariner Arena

If you’re a fan of a bunch of knuckleheads torturing themselves – while being chomped by an alligator, hit by a car or shot by a gun, you’re NOT in luck.

Sorry, but Johnny Knoxville, Steve-O and the rest of the JACKASS crew will not be visiting our area – that I’m aware. I suppose it’s not outside the realm of possibility to imagine Wee Man swimming around the Polar Bear pool, at the Baltimore Zoo.

But, it’s not on the prospective schedule.

But, my reference is something completely different – and of an AUTHENTIC jackass, in all dynamics of the title.

On December 19th, Kanye West will be bringing his “Fame Kills” Tour to Baltimore’s 1st Mariner Arena. Oh, Hell Yeah !!!! And, to think, I’ve been agonizing over my prospective “Christmas Wish List,” which remains BLANK.

As soon as I finish this blog, I’m gonna fill it out – “Anything, But Tickets To The Kanye West Concert” …..

Seriously, he’s far from a good person. Beyond being despicably arrogant and discriminating, Kanye West is a “poser” when it comes to being the portrayed gritty, hardknocks artist.

He’s nothing more than Chris Brown with a foul mouth.

Yep, here it is ….. “Ed Hale, What Were You Thinking …..”

The Chicago Cubs – Thanks For The Reminder

This one is gonna be short and sweet …..

Yesterday, I wrote a blog regarding the Ravens’ Secondary needs AND Chris McAlister’s availability.

While I was CRYSTAL CLEAR in the intended spirit of the blog – I was not suggesting the Ravens should add the dysfunctional, former team member, I still received the accusatory remarks.

Ahh, it’s a subject for another time. But, briefly ….. read the entire blog, next time.

That said, as I sit here a day later, I want to thank the Chicago Cubs for reminding me of what usually happens when dudes with bad character are given subsequent opportunities.

Yesterday, the Cubs suspended Milton Bradley for the remainder of the season. Yep, THAT MILTON BRADLEY. Thanks for the reminder, Cubbies.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO to Chris McAlister.

Yeah, here it is ….. “What Was I Thinking …..”

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