Here’s a golf clap for (yes) Tiger Woods

December 09, 2009 | Drew Forrester

My guess is Tiger Woods would probably like a life-mulligan if they were available.

The last few weeks have been, to say the least, troublesome for the greatest golfer in the game.

As I continue to read the various accounts of his alleged “romances” over the last five years, one thing stands out to me more and more.

How the hell did he win so much?


In Spain, they have “Running with the Bulls”.

Since 2004 or so, Tiger’s been “Running with the Tramps”.

It appears the event they have in Spain is far less dangerous than the game Tiger’s been playing this decade.

From 2004 through 2009, Woods has won 32 PGA Tour events and 6 major championships.


You mean to tell me while this guy was galavanting all over the country, engaged in various under-the-radar-screen relationships with all these members of The Skank Club that he was still able to concentrate on golf?


I play golf.  The game is hard enough when you’re living a normal everyday life like 99% of the population who play the crazy game.

I remember in 2007, I was playing an active amateur golf tournament schedule in the summer and my wife was due with Ethan in late July.

I played the Maryland Open at Chartwell on July 12 and 13 and I was a complete wreck.  I posted two rounds that would have made a 10-handicap proud.

A couple of weeks later, somehow, I won four matches in the Baltimore Match Play Championship and played my good friend Al Medlin on July 28 in the Final at Mount Pleasant.  By that time, my wife and I were fairly certain Ethan was going to be late (he was due on August 1).  I was a bumbling fool on the golf course on that Sunday morning and Al beat my brains in and sent me home to my very-pregnant wife with the 2nd place trophy and a smile on my face.

My point?  If you don’t have the ability to completely concentrate on the game of golf — particularly at a high-level or, “tournament golf”, as they say — you wind up embarrassing yourself.

How on earth over the last five years did Tiger Woods win 32 tournaments and 6 major titles while juggling his lay-for-the-day and avoiding the powerful eye of the country’s paparazzi?  How did he win golf tournaments, many of them EASILY, and keep his wife and family intact while steaming it up with his girls on the side?

It really IS amazing.  Maybe you have to play golf to “get it”.  But what this guy’s done over the last five years is unthinkable based on what we’re all learning about his life since 2004.

During the time that Tiger Woods allegedly had extra-marital affairs with these women (I think the count is up to 10 or 11 now…I’ve lost track, honestly), he won more major titles than Phil Mickelson, Ernie Els, Padraig Harrington and Vijay Singh have each won in their entire career.  Tiger has six during the “cheating years”.  Those four — all great players — have 3 each.

How the hell is that possible?

And don’t forget, he won one of those majors while he had a broken leg and a torn ACL.

Talk about the trifecta.

“Tiger, what was your biggest accomplishment in golf?  Winning 116 career tournaments, 22 majors or 15 money-list titles?”

“None of those, Drew.  My greatest accomplishment was beating all of those clowns at Torrey Pines at the 2008 U.S. Open when I was texting Jaimee Grubbs in between holes, meeting up with her at the La Jolla Sheraton for a 7pm sex-fest and then hobbling around the course on one leg for five days.”

If only Rocco Mediate would have laid down for Tiger as easy as Jaimee Grubbs did…it would have only been four days at Torrey Pines.

None of this, by the way, in any way, shape or form diminishes the horrific self-created downfall Woods is currently undergoing.

This mess — in concert with the money-grubbers — is all Tiger’s doing.

But I had to stop today and take a look back at Tiger’s numbers and shake my head in amazement, reflecting on a time in my life when my mind was pre-occupied with something (in my case, child birth) and how I could barely hit the ball in the middle of the clubface.

Even now, with my mind focused on golf, the friggin’ game is still hard.  Really hard.

This dude was juggling women all over the country and still beating THE BEST GOLFERS IN THE WORLD with ease.  In major championships for crying out loud.

I would say “I’ll have some of what he’s drinking”, but Gatorade has discontinued that god-awful tasting “Tiger Drink”.

I think I’ll give him a golf clap instead.

I don’t know how you did it Tiger.  Really I don’t.

But I bet you trade it all in if you could your life and family back, huh?