If you’re gonna get dirty, might as well do it with Friday Mud

September 03, 2010 | Drew Forrester

In honor of Hurricane Earl, I was going to rename today’s effort “Friday Wind and Heavy Rain”, but I apparently don’t need to do that now that the big storm has weakened and wobbled a bit more to the East. 

I don’t like Hurricanes.  Unless they wear #52, that is.

Speaking of Hurricane Ray and his current team…well, never mind, I’ll get to him in a few minutes in today’s exciting edition of Friday Mud. 

Grab your coffee (Royal Farms, I’m sure), secure your phone right next to you (in case you get a text from our Koons Ford of Security Boulevard text service) and enjoy my ponderings and opinions.  Or don’t.  Either way, feel free to comment on them.  And, as always, your comments are brought to you by Buy A Toyota.com. 

> I said throughout the week I’m the wrong guy to talk to about the Ben Roethlisberger suspension and his apparent attempt to have the Commissioner reduce the suspension from 6 games to 3 — instead of 4 — because I honestly thought six games was FAR too extreme in the first place.  That said, I think I have figured out how Roger Goodell could handle Big Ben’s request.  Goodell should say this, “OK, Ben, I’ll reduce your suspension to 3 games.  But in return, you need to watch a re-run of every NFL pre-season game that’s taken place this year and write a 250-word essay on all of them.”  Roethlisberger would immediately say, “Uh, you know what…I’ll just take the four games.”

>  I occasionally offer you the most underrated player in baseball, football, golf, etc.  Now, let’s go to a theme that certain sports talk folks in town are familiar with — overrated.  Here, now, is baseball’s most overrated performer.  Look through this guy’s numbers and tell me what he’s ever done to lead his team to greatness.  Guess what he’s made in his career?  $85 million.  He’s had some good years and displayed some decent power at times, but he’s also struck out a lot and he has something in common with the Orioles.  He hasn’t won jack in his career (as a starter).  You can have him.  Overrated.

>  Much like NASCAR – with their silly scoring system that allows the guy who wins the MOST races to NOT be the guy who wins their playoff race – wouldn’t it be funny if Tiger Woods didn’t win one of the four FedEx Cup events but accumulated the most points somehow with a bunch of top 10 finishes?  Not sure if you saw this note, but Woods just signed off on a $54 million mortgage for his new crib in Jupiter, Florida.  He needs that FedEx Cup money.  Wouldn’t want him to have to take on a roommate to split the rent.

>  If anyone can somehow steal me one of those big, red “2010 U.S. Open” towels that are draped on the back of the player’s chairs at courtside, I would greatly appreciate it.  Those look like AWESOME towels. 

>  I can’t make make my “official” pick on the Ravens/Jets game until next Friday — or The Tradition (aka, Glenn Clark) will pitch a fit, but I can let you in on a little secret.  Move a little closer…that’s it…come on in here…shhhhhh…don’t tell anyone I told you this:  (the Ravens are going to beat the Jets on September 13)

Picking an Orioles MVP for 2010 is going to be quite difficult.  They all tanked it for the first 60 games or so, rebounded somewhat in the next 50, and a bunch of players are actually trying and producing in the final 50.  After much deliberation – and taking into account there’s still a month of baseball left – here’s the guy that I say has the clubhouse lead for the team’s MVP award.  And no, it’s not Buck Showalter.  It’s this guy.  Keep in mind he missed 20-something games.  Pretty impressive numbers…

>  A man in Pittsburgh gets on a bus and makes his way toward the back.  In his left pocket, he has 6 golf balls, having just returned from a practice session with his golf instructor.  The bulging pocket makes for quite a sight…if you know what I mean.  He approaches a young woman in a Steelers jersey and she is clearly in awe of his bulging left pocket.  They make eye contact and she smiles.  He stops in front of her.  The Steelers fan glances down at his bulging pocket again and winks.  The man realizes what’s happening and simply says, “Oh, it’s golf balls.”  She frowns and says, “You poor soul…is it more painful than tennis elbow?”

>  Just a hunch, but I think Maryland is beating Navy on Monday in Baltimore.

>  The firing of Rob Dibble from the MASN broadcast team is a disgrace.  Had he said “suck it up” to/about John Lannan, would anyone be bellyaching about it?  Of course not.  Was he WRONG for questioning Strasburg’s toughness?  In hindsight, sure.  But Dibble had no idea the kid’s elbow ligament was torn when he said “suck it up”.  Firing the guy?  Too harsh.  Just like saying “suck it up” was too harsh. 

>  If Terry Francona isn’t the A.L. Manager of the Year, the award shouldn’t be handed out this season.  That the Red Sox are still in the hunt — faint as it might be — for a playoff spot must be a testament to Francona’s ability to manage in-game and keep his locker room settled and panic-free.  It’s one of the best managerial jobs of the last decade, I’d say. 

>  With Kevin Millwood destined to NOT return next year for the Orioles, here’s a guy they’re likely to pursue.  Why pursue him?  Well, ask yourself this:  Wouldn’t that player be a TYPICAL Orioles off-season move?  Right, I thought so. 

>  I know it’s their “alternate” logo, but if this isn’t the best logo in hockey then I don’t know what to say.  On the flip side, not only is this the WORST logo in hockey, it’s also the worst logo in all of sport.  In the world.  (What?  You thought I was going to say anything else BUT that?)