I love a good conspiracy theory.
And I always love it when the scammer gets scammed.
I’ve been reading up on the Teixeira saga a lot today. I’ve probably read (via the web) about 20 different “takes” on the situation.
The more I read, the more I think Scott Boras (and Teixeira) might be in trouble.
Well, not REALLY in trouble. You can’t call getting $150 million “trouble”, even when you were hoping for $200 million.
So follow along with me here:
Boras floats into the lobby of the Las Vegas Hilton with his chest puffed out and a $20 cigar in his mouth and yells out, “who wants Tex?” and, naturally, six teams step forward and say, “ooh, ooh, ooh, we do, we do, we do…”
He pulls up a seat and says, “OK, give me the offers…”
The Angels stop by and say, “You know, we enjoyed having him in Anaheim for those 54 games this past summer but in the end, we got as far in the post-season WITH him as we probably would have WITHOUT him and we just don’t think your asking price is reasonable.”
Boras: “Asking price? You don’t even know what it is.”
Angels: ”We’re hearing $18 million a year.”
Boras: ”More like $20 mil a year.”
Angels: ”We’re not interested in paying that much. We’ll entertain the thought of signing him to a long term deal but not for $20 mil per-year. No way.”
The Angels representative leaves.
So Boras welcomes the Nationals into the room and says, “You want Tex in DC or what?”
The Nats say, “Sure…we’re willing to go as high as $160 million for him over 8 years.”
Boras: “That’s a good starting point, but I’m not sure that’s going to be enough. You know, Anaheim has already said they’d like to have him back and he likes it out there in California.”
Nats: ”That’s a firm offer from us. We’d love to have him in Washington DC. Let us know if that works.”
Andy MacPhail walks by with a cardboard cut-out of Ramon Hernandez under his arm.
Boras shouts out: “When we gonna talk about Tex?”
MacPhail hands the cut-out to a PR lackey from the Reds and says, “Call Greg Bader and get Ramon’s vitals and announce the deal.”
He sits down with Boras. ”Scott, we want the kid, but let’s face it, he wants to come home and play in front of his parents. You know it, we know it, the kid knows it. What’s it going to take?”
Boras says: “Andy, it’s $200 million for 10 years and the deal gets done today.”
MacPhail: “Holy schnikee Scott, are you guys on dope? Don’t you know our attendance is down in record numbers? We don’t have that kind of money.”
Boras: ”So let me get this straight. The hometown team isn’t interested in the hometown kid? Wow. How’s that going to go over in Baltimore?”
MacPhail (sweating): ”Wait just a second now…I never said we weren’t interested. I’m sure we can do something. We just don’t have $200 million for 10 years. Let me get Peter on the phone and see if maybe we can swing a 7-year, $140 million contract.”
Boras: ”For who, Manny?”
MacPhail: ”No, you smart ass, for friggin’ Tex.”
Boras: ”Andy, Tex costs you $200 mil for 10 years.”
MacPhail: “Forget it…we’re not even on the light rail with you, let alone in the same ballpark.”
Boras: “Sure will be a shame to have him come to town in a Boston uniform and beat you guys.”
MacPhail: ”Buh, Buh, Buh, Bost-on? Boston Red Sox? They’re interested?”
Boras: ”Of course. He might hit 91 home runs in Fenway Park next season. At least that’s what THEY think.”
MacPhail leaves the room and bumps into Roch Kubatko: ”We made a very significant offer. He’s in the 7 to to 8 year, $150 to $200 million range. We’re right in the neighborhood. It’s not over till it’s over.”
Theo Epstein sticks his head in the door and sees Boras pouring himself a glass of cabernet.
Boras: “Theo, come on in. I called you eight times yesterday.”
Theo: ”I know Scott. If you’re calling about Tex, we’re probably going to have to pass.”
Boras: ”Pass? On Tex? I figured you guys wanted him. Sure would be terrible to see him in New York.”
Theo: “Yeah, well, that’s life.”
Boras: ”What if I can convince him to come to Boston for $20 million a year for eight years.”
Theo: ”Convince him to come to Boston for eight years at $15 million per and get back to me.”
Boras: ”So you ARE interested? OK, great then. Let me get back to you.”
The room is now empty. Boras goes to work. First, he calls Peter Gammons in Boston.
“OK, Gams, here’s the lowdown. Got a $140 million dollar offer from Baltimore. They’re hot on his heels. But they don’t want to go more than 7 years. Boston is in for 8 years though. So is DC. And Anaheim is interested too, of course. He hit .358 there in 54 games last year, you know that, right?”
Then Boras calls Ken Rosenthal: “I thought Baltimore was going to be serious about Tex but they’re not. They tossed out a $140 million offer just to make sure it looks like they’re interested but they’re really not. Boston is dying to get him. Theo offered me eight years right away. The Nationals gave us the best offer and they’re probably going to get him unless Baltimore comes through with more money.”
Boras then calls Epstein back: ”Baltimore’s making a serious play. You guys in for $200 million and 10 years in Boston?”
“I’ll get back to you, Scott,” is how Epstein ends it.
And maybe, just maybe, that’s where they’re at right now.
Maybe – to borrow a great line from “Cool Hand Luke” – Scott Boras has a “hand full of nothin…”
He MIGHT have a paltry $140 million offer from Baltimore. And he might have a $160 million offer from Washington.
And he might have an offer from Boston.
Or, he might not.
It could be between Baltimore and Washington.
And surely Scott Boras can’t go back to Tex and say, “looks like we’re going to Washington for $160 million”. Right?
I’m betting there isn’t a mega-offer from the Red Sox. I’m betting he doesn’t have a 9-year, $180 million offer from Boston.
If he did, it would be signed by now.
They’re all in this bullsh**tting game together but no one knows if anyone is telling the truth.
It’s pretty funny, actually.
Maybe no one wants Tex for that kind of money and he winds up signing in Kansas City for $9.2 million a year for three years with the Royals.
Now THAT would be a hand full of nothin’…