Throw us a strike, Chris Tillman

July 04, 2012 | Mark Brown

On one of Chris Tillman’s return starts to the big leagues last year, I channeled my inner Weird Al Yankovic and wrote a little song parody for him. I’ve updated it a bit for this season. It goes a little something like this, with all apologies to Billy Joel.

**

It’s four o’clock on Independence Day
The holiday crowd shuffles in
There’s an Orioles fan sitting next to me
Makin’ love to his Tankeray gin

He says, “Son, can you change the channel?
I’m not really sure what’s its name
But it’s there and I care and I don’t quite know why
When I watch the Orioles game.”

Throw us a strike, you’re Chris Tillman
Throw us a strike today
Well, we’re all in the mood for a victory
And you’ve got us feelin’ okay

Ronny at the plate is a backup guy
He’s not got a good OBP
And he’s sure got to know he’s lucky to be in the show
So there’s no place that he’d rather be.
But me, I believe this team’s killing me
As I watch all their games every night
Well I’m sure that they’d win the World Series
If only they signed David Wright

Now Hunter’s not a great starting pitcher
He’s marked for the minors, I deem
And he’s talkin’ with Gregg, whom I’ve got to beg,
Will soon be released from this team

And the young man remembers in ’96
And the old man recalls ’83
Yes, they’re sharing a drink they call losing
But it sure beats sobriety

Throw us a strike, you’re Chris Tillman
Throw us a strike today
Well, we’re all in the mood for a victory
And you’ve got us feelin’ okay

It’s a pretty good crowd for a holiday
And the manager gives me a smile
’cause he knows that it’s he we’ve been comin’ to see
To forget about life for a while
And the Yankee fans smell like a sewer
The microphone smells like Thorne’s booze
And we sit by our TVs and post on WNST
And say, “Man, we better not lose!”

Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Throw us a strike, you’re Chris Tillman
Throw us a strike today
Well, we’re all in the mood for a victory
And you’ve got us feelin’ okay

**

It didn’t work out very well for him last year. I wrote it for the start he made in the first half of a July 30 doubleheader in New York. He gave up seven runs, five earned, in only 4.1 innings pitched against the Yankees. Koji Uehara was traded between games of the doubleheader. Hopefully the 2012 incarnation of the song is a better luck charm for Tillman. Unfortunately, I have a feeling he will need it.

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1 Comments For This Post

  1. 33 Says:

    Worked!

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