Bring Out Your Dead

October 24, 2012 | Thyrl Nelson


“You’ll Be Stone Dead in a Minute” – The following may still have the flicker of a pulse for now, but for all intents and purposes their run is over.

Ozzie Guillen – Ozzie Guillen and the new look Miami Marlins looked to be a marriage made in heaven; that is until his team stumbled out of the gates and he inserted his foot in his mouth talking politics. As rocky as Guillen’s ride was in Chicago at least there they knew who he was and were willing to live with it. Now that he has moved on from Chicago and Miami has moved on from him he’ll likely be relegated to a TV studio for the foreseeable future. Who wouldn’t want to watch Guillen and Bobby Valentine go at it daily on a “First Take” type of format?



Geno Smith’s Heisman Campaign – This too was fun while it lasted but consecutive losses in the BIG-12, a conference not especially known for its defense, while putting up pedestrian numbers in the process has taken him squarely off the spot. Adding insult to injury, those who tuned in to West Virginia’s most recent loss at the hands of the K-State Wildcats walked away touting a whole new candidate in K-State quarterback Collin Klein.


New York Yankees – The Yankees in general will likely never be dead, but as presently constituted, these Yankees are starting to stink pretty quickly. They’re tied to lots of aged and aging talent for a long time to come, and have a stated goal to get below the MLB luxury tax threshold by 2014. That’ll make it difficult to hang onto important pieces like Curtis Granderson, Hiroki Kuroda, Nick Swisher and Robinson Cano in the next 2 off-seasons. One way or another something will have to give.


The Detroit Lions – Call it the Madden Curse, call it the other shoe dropping on Matthew Stafford, or blame it on the lack of off the field discipline evidenced by these Lions now working it’s way onto the field; whatever the cause the Lions are 2-4 and aren’t scaring anyone. They’re unable to take advantage of the NFL’s biggest walking mismatch in Calvin Johnson, and they’re quickly sinking in what appears to be the NFL’s most competitive division.



The Arizona Cardinals – Experts and analysts spent the first four weeks of the season trying to figure out how the Cardinals were doing what they were doing; now it appears there’s no need to keep looking. The improbable Cardinals have lost 3 straight games, and are facing a showdown with a suddenly humbled 49ers squad this weekend. They may be headed quickly to the back of the NFC West pack, at the very least; their stay at the front of it is over.